Where to begin..

Dh has a "daughter".. the reason I typed it like that is because she isn't biologically his. When he met BM - the daughter was 3 and the dad was MIA.. as things progressed, DH married BM and then adopted her as his own. He was VERY good to her.

Then, as a teen.. she was a royal shit. bad grades, dressing like a hoochie mama, being a hoochie mama, drugs, alcohol.. you name it. DH tried to parent, but BM did her best to be the good guy and make DH the bad cop.. The relationship between DH and daughter went to hell. DH pretty much gave up and focused on work and the boys..

Then.. BM and DH got divorced.. the daughter was on BM's side and was all about making DH the bad guy.. bad mouthed him to everyone and even her step brothers..

Fast forward to when DH and I met.

I met DH and we hit it off.. about a week after I meet him we "friended" each other on FB.. that's when I see pics of his daughter and her friend and am like "oh crap."

See, after my divorce I dated a guy that was 8 years younger than me (rebound) for about 6 months.. it was fun, light and what I needed at the time.. end of story.

We broke up 8 months before I met DH.

I still had to see this guy about once a week because he worked at the same place I worked - my part time job that I had a few nights a week and a couple hours on the weekend (I needed it to make ends meet at the time) but it wasn't an issue because again, it wasn't some serious relationship that had some dramatic ending.. we were cool with each other.

Except, he had a psycho girlfriend who could not stand the fact that I was in the same zip code as him.. ugh! This girl was insane and would do things like drive by my house when she couldn't find this guy or show up at work when him and I were there and give me the stink eye.. or text me "anonymously" and say all kinds of messed up stuff.. I just ignored her but she was obsessed with me..

So I call DH up and tell him "hey.. uhh.. we have something in common here" and fill him in on the fact that his daughter's bff has a slight obsession with me and when they find out we are talking all hell might break loose..

Sure enough.. they found out..

His daughter called him up and told him NOT to date me! Then proceeded to "fill him in" on things about me that her and her BFF knew.. all of them lies.

His daughter then proceeded to tell her mom those same things.. then DH's family.. then her brothers (my future step sons)..

People I had never met were getting an earful of bullshit about me..

She bashed me with a bunch of lies that were not only untrue, but horrible and could have caused issues for me if the wrong people heard them.

I was pissed and so was DH.. Even my exbf was pissed - he went off on the daughter and actually dumped her friend because of all the crap.. which only made things worse for me..

Dh and I continued to date.. his daughter continued to say things about me. He couldn't do anything about it since she was an adult, lived with her mom and they really didn't have a good relationship anyways..

For years I have always been the bigger person.. I have never confronted her on anything.

When she would want to stop over for the holidays - not to see her dad, but to see his parents and gets gifts and hit them up for money, (she only stops by when the grandparents are there - never to visit her dad, me or her brothers) I would always be nice and make her a plate or offer her something to eat or drink.. She is not a bitch or disrespectful - it's just that she is there and usually texting away on her phone, only talking to the grandparents and sometimes her dad.. and we all know she isn't there for the right reasons. Just to get her share.

When her mom stirred up a bunch of drama last fall and accused me of crap (another long story) - who sends me shitty texts..? The daughter.. again, I was the bigger person. Never stooped to her level and always stayed cool and just stuck to the facts.

When the daughter goes to the ss's sporting events, she sits with her mom and never says a word to me or DH.

When DH and I got engaged and married she never said a word.. no "let me see your ring" or "congrats".. not even to DH.

We threw her a graduation party this spring - had tons of food and DH's family came in town and stayed at our place. She came over and got her food and gifts.. never thanked anyone and had the balls to complain about how much money we gave her.. are you kidding me?

I have pretty much reached my limit with this.. I'm over her crap and have put up with more than most people would without going off.

With the holidays coming up, I am to the point where I want to say "no, you are not welcome here" - this isn't your family of convenience to just stop by and collect your loot. She never buys gifts for anyone (DH's parents, DH, me, her brothers or my daughter).. yet she always has her nails done, hair highlighted, iphone, latest fashions, etc..

DH really doesn't want her here either - he only allows it because his parents want to see her.. which in my opinion is kinda jacked up because why would they want to see her when she has done so many shitty things to DH and me?

I think it's time she owns up to her crap and understand exactly what it did and how it still has a part in things now. My step sons formed an opinion of me before they met me based off her.. and this is something I am trying to overcome to this day..

Anyone wanna chime in on this? I need advice.