Oh Joy, another ruined holiday!
DH decided he wanted to share some $$ with our adult kids this Easter (SD29, SD27 [married], SS26 [married] & BD20). Apparently, DH feels he wants to share part of a “cash-bonus” he received through work with the 3Skids (and 1BD), ($50 each)
First, I had heartache, as I said it would set a precedent and I don’t agree with DH giving money all the time -- on every ‘special occasion’. He does this on Christmas, and holidays and on THEIR Anniversaries. It’s their anniversary – I don’t feel we need to give them money on their anniversaries, a card is sufficient. Believe-You-Me -- We are not made of money. And I'm sure my heartache stems from their ungratfulness and disrespect of me.
So to start the day, DH left early on Sunday to take care of some business prior to church, where we would meet him. SD knew this plan. BUT, SD27 shows up at our house on Easter morning with husband in tow while I am getting dressed for church – and says upon walking into the house (without knocking). Oh we’re early; really I just wanted to see the dog (she hates the dog). So what was that a crack? Not here to see me or BD20, I guess…….
Then we had to buy lunch without anyone contributing (as usual). Then SD27 talks at lunch that she wants us to buy her an iPod for her birthday. (DH remains silent.) Then DH hands out the cards with the cash. Everyone was gracious in receiving, except SD27. She said “Thanks DAD” in which I loudly replied “and thanks ‘my name here??’”
She doesn’t get that we are married and it is not all just daddy’s money. Then she asked, “don’t we get two?” (Meaning a card/cash for her AND her husband). (DH remains silent.) I said, “No, you’re married, you share everything….” (DH remains silent)
This behavior with SD has been ongoing for 13 years of my being marriage to DH. I just shook my head and made a mini-scene and turned to my DH and said “OMG, this and then showing up at the house to see “THE DOG” remark (remember she hates dogs).
When SD27 says all these things she always has a weird-giggle (here to see the dog, don’t we get two?). I don’t know if she thinks she is being cute, but she has something missing upstairs.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up from the table. We were done eating anyway and it was time to leave and I walked away and said to other SD29. “I am fed up with that kind of behavior; I can’t even speak right now.”
SD26 Hubby tried to talk to me, I think to see how upset I was – but I didn’t even want to talk to him either.
As I walked out of the restaurant to get into BD20's car, SD27 comes up to me and wants to apologize and I just cut her off and said, “You know this happens EVERYTIME. I just don’t want to hear it right now.” And I got in the car and slammed the car door. It is an ongoing thing with SD27. What? should she have the right to conintually says crap and disrespect me and then apologize after the fact - when I know the apology is worthless - but do it in front of people so she seems like she cares? (IT's an act!)
BD20 and I drove away leaving DH, SD29, SD26 and new hubby standing on the sidewalk. Oh, BTW, DH has said not one PEEP about the whole matter (DH remains silent).
SD27 bday is coming up at the end of the month – I sure don’t want to have any gathering or gift giving from me. I think DH should cut her gift in ½ to drive-home a point. You don’t respect her enough to understand that she is half of the marriage, half of everything that is given to you – so you get ½!
Thanks for the rant.
"Dont we get two" --
"Dont we get two" -- UNBELIEVABLE. Your rant was well deserved, I feel for you.
Agreed. She doesn't deserve a
Agreed. She doesn't deserve a gift. Give her a card and nothing more. She's grown and married now, her husband can buy her gifts.
What an effin b!tch.
What an effin b!tch.
You have every right to act
You have every right to act the way you did. Your husband should be more sensitive to your feelings, and your stepchildren are old enough to know that they should have respect for you. When I receive gifts from my dad and stepmom I always call and thank them. Or if it is just my dad I make sure he tells my stepmom thank you. Because I know that she is always the one who puts together the gifts and signs the cards. I'm still very young so I'm not sure when the money sending stops, but I can't imagine being 27 and getting money, even less so ASKING for more. That is ridiculous. I feel like once you are older and married you should be sending your parents things and taking them out. Though it is okay for the parents to still pay for a dinner every once in a while. My mom and stepdad are visiting in May and I plan on letting them stay in our home, and when we go out I don't expect them to pay for me and my DH. My parents told me that my "husband is financially responsible for me."
My SD always says "thanks
My SD always says "thanks dad". She has done this over and over again. As for the dog comment, had it been me I would have said something like "that's nice, there's a mirror over there dear"! As for the iPod, she has some nerve at her age asking you to buy her anything, let alone something like that. She is old enough to buy her own iPod. Some nerve she has!
Doesn't it bother you that SD
Doesn't it bother you that SD alwasy says "thanks dad" - like you have nothing to do with anything given to her? It's one thing if finances are not combined and it is something given strickly by the dad, but after 13 years - I am sick of it.
People GET gifts for their
People GET gifts for their birthday after 18??!? Damn I missed out! I wonder if I can get those retroactively now?
Why is daddy so afraid of his babies that he won't stand up to them and tell them to respect his wife? SD27 is a spoiled, entitled brat that deserves nothing besides a card and maybe a dinner for her birthday, and Dad is a pussy that needs to tell SD27 to watch her mouth around his wife.