I have been married for 30 years. I have 3skids and we have two children together. All five are very close, and we managed a good life together with the kids and the bm and her husband. The skids are great and the relationship is very good...

Here is my situation, and I speak only of the skids at this point. All three are married and have children of their own. One lives out of state and we see him about twice per year. The other two live close to home, no more then one hour away. They began having children in 2005 and we love them dearly. We have noticed over the years, that there father and I have taken a back seat,cast aside so to speak, we are not sure what has occurred. No argument, no falling out, nothing whatsoever.

My ss and his wife have a close relationship with her parents, his bm and her husband. My sd and her husband have a close relationship with his parents, her bm and her husband. They do things together quite often and go on trips together regularly. The kids spend a great deal of time with their grandparents. My husband and I, not so much. The skids have always had a wonderful relationship with their father, and me as well. We raised them primarily as the bm had issues. She now sits at the head of the throne as the mother of the year. I am glad they worked out their relationship issues, that is not my beef.

We go to every birthday party for the grandkids, we all get along just fine. We have Christmas of course and we set a date during the month where everyone can get together. Other then that, we have to contact them. We call and see them at least once a month by our initiating. The kids are much closer to their bm grandmother and stepfather, and of course their perspective inlaws. All of my skids married fabulous people and their parents are terrific people as well. I know we are well liked by all of them. My husband has been hurt. All the years of raising them, paying the bills, and their relationship with their father just gone. My husband said he is no longer going to initiate a visit. I believe he is wrong, and should talk to the kids. I also believe that we need to maintain a relationship with the grandchildren no matter what the frequency is. I will continue to initiate the visits, and he will go along with it.

This is eating me up inside, and the kids are always terrific when we get together. I spoke to a good friend about it and she stated that in today's day with work, family requirements, and kids activities, it might be harder for the skids to maintain close relationships with 3 sets of grandparents. She felt that maybe we were inadvertently left out because of time restraints.I just don't accept that. While the kids were growing up we maintained relationships with all families, including mine and including their stepfathers family with their bm. My husband is affraid to talk to them about it because it could appear that we are jealous, which I guess in some respect, we are. Any suggestions? Or anyone else have this issue?