I no longer care, seriously.

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So my DF's two sons have now decided that they want to "bond" with their dad. It's great, and I am glad they are doing it. But seriously, does that mean that I have to sit there for an hour with a big plastic phony smile on my face and pretend that I don't mind being ignored.

DF and I were watching TV,and his two sons walk in. As usual, no phone call or anything. Fine, we have a DVR so I put the TV on pause. They proceeded to stay an hour and talk about the good old days, and about people and places I have no clue about. I tried to join in the conversation, but it became pretty obvious that I was not included I got yelled at before about leaving the room when his kids are over, so I just sat there. After about 45 minutes of this, I pulled out my phone and started playing on Facebook. I continued to smile over once in a while or nod.

Then his kids left. "Bye Dad! Love you!" I said bye, and nothing. Just walked out the door. My parents are divorced and both are remarried. When I leave I make it a point to say goodbye to my stepmom or stepdad. If I didn't, I would surely get told all about it I am sure.

So of course DF is all glowing since they left, and I am seething. I have not said too much to him. It does not matter. It is never going to change. I am going to start putting money back, and getting my stuff together. By next Christmas, I plan to be out of here!

Obviously people notice the

Obviously people notice the sutble things and him pretending that things are ok is just nonsense. We have our instincts for a reason. If you feel a need to react and get away, then do so. Especially if you are in a position to do so. Some of us are not in such a position.

Much luck

If all is good when they are

If all is good when they are not around why give up your marriage?

Just leave the room...excuse yourself...remember something important you have to do...after all you had no idea they were coming over. That is so rude of them. Heck tell DH you had a sudden case of the runs or had to hurl and then had to lay down. Stash some good snacks in your room, finish watching your show in bed, or have a tasty novel to read while they are there. When they leave, reappear, act surprised you missed their departure and go on with your evening. Worst case...get a dog and take it for walks when they appear.
Start baking cookies and invite them to help...anything but sit and feel ignored and getting angry. Not good for your health.

Stashing some cash and having a plan is ok too. Just make sure it is really what you want not because of them.

Find some peace and joy for you!

Great advise here. I would

Great advise here. I would only add that the op was previously "yelled at" for leaving the room. Next time he starts to critize you for leaving the room do not rise to the challenge but look confused and state that they came to see him, smile, and tell him how much you support his relationship with his kids. Change the subject and talk about anything pleasant. Do not argue or fight about how you are excluded.

After a bit of time, DH might see that the relationship he has with his kids is stuck in the past but if he never does that is okay too. You will have watched your shows, read some good books, and gotten a great dog that loves to go for walks. In short you will have a life that is meaningful and in the present.

Good Luck.

I think it should be

I think it should be mentioned that you would always make a point of including your step parents in conversation and saying good bye, not because your Mom or your Dad would call you on it, it is because that is what a decent person does.

I would politely make mention

I would politely make mention of it, because very likely your DH actually DOES NOT notice. He's too aglow with the wonder of his special snowflakes bestowing the gift of their presence upon him. (hurl)

I know my DH would miss these subtle things. I would point out, non-confrontational and not in a mad tone "Huh, I said bye to SSX and SSY, but they didn't say anything back. I hope they heard me." Rinse and repeat. About time 10 or 12, he caught on that I said this EVERY TIME.

If they are not going to

If they are not going to include you in the conversation, why is it so important that you be in the room? That is just rude of all 3 of them.

I would definitely discuss their lack of manners with your DF. If he doesn't see a problem with it, then there should not be a problem with you doing your own thing when they are there.

I have kind of the opposite problem. When SD23 comes over (not often), she has nothing to say and cannot carry on a conversation to save her life. It's very awkward for all of us and a big waste of time.

Thank you all for your input.

Thank you all for your input. DF has noticed that I have been distant since last night. He asked me what's wrong, and I did not feel like getting into it before work so I said, "Nothing." I have told him many times before about their rudeness and ignorant actions, and nothing has changed. I feel like why bother? He kisses their butts so much it is not even funny.

I am definitely *NOT* staying in the room anymore when they are talking to their father. The only reason I stayed in the room this time was because we had a big argument the other day, and he yelled at me that I constantly leave the room when they are over. Well now I remember why I started doing that. It is not worth two days of being upset. I will leave the room, and if DF says anything I will let him have it for sure!

I just don't get it. I go out of my way to make sure my stepparents are included in conversations, and I always greet them appropriately. Why is this such a difficult thing?