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I need advice...

StepLightly's picture

Submitted by StepLightly on Sat, 05/24/2008 - 7:56pm

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Adult Stepchildren

I have been married to my husband for 10 years. Things have always been pretty good with my 3 step-daughters, who are now 26, 24 and 19. I have always coached their teams, and been there for them in every way, shape and form. I have especially done a ton for the 19-year-old. All three haven't spoken to us for 3 months, and the youngest one is blaming me for everything going on in her life. She went as far as telling her dad that it's her or me. She wants us to split. She has always lied and been manipulative, but has never been this bold about it. My husband, his family, and my family completely support me. Their former high school teachers (those who know the girls well) totally support me also. My question is...why now? I thought this would be the time when I could concentrate on my younger kids, etc. and now I'm constantly upset about 3 girls who aren't even here. Help!

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Sun, 05/25/2008 - 6:33am

Hi, did anything in particular happen to trigger this from her? Hopefully your husband is letting her know she does not make decisions for him in his marriage.

She sounds like a pain and maybe if she stays away you can all be happy anyway! but I know it is hurtful to be accused of something that is not true and not appreciated for all you have done Sad Does anyone know what her problem is?

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus

ColorMeGone2's picture

Submitted by ColorMeGone2 on Sun, 05/25/2008 - 8:56am

Was there an incident or something that started this whole thing? Anything you can trace it back to? Is the 19yo the instigator or are they all mad at you individually?

I say concentrate on your younger kids and blow off the others for now. If they have a valid issue and want to work with you to resolve it in a responsible, adult manner, then great. Otherwise, just ignore it and them.

Also, I think DH should drag them to a little come-to-prayer meeting and let them know that they can either Angel discuss the issue with the two of you like the adults they are or (b) blow it out their collective ass.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

StepLightly's picture

Submitted by StepLightly on Sun, 05/25/2008 - 5:57pm

Thanks for the insight. The 19-year-old is the instigator. The only thing that's changed is child support for their mom stopped (she mentioned that to DH). My DH's mother died and he thinks that's what has them all going (them thinking there is a bunch of money?!). It's all very strange. Sick and strange....