I Dont Think I Will Accept The Offer.
SDIL sent me a text saying SD is having her baby shower Saturday.Now my SD and SDIL dont have anything to do with me because of BM. They only time they want to be around me is when it has something to do with DH. They never visit us (which I love that they dont come around). The last baby SD had she posted a picture of her baby saying proud GP are DH and EX . I have had parties before and have invited SDIL and SD and they were no shows .SD says I am her dads wife and that she does not consider me family .SDIL feels the same .I was crazy enough to send them all a friends request when I learned about facebook and SD and SDIL wouldnt accepted me as a friend and we are still not friends on FB. I have tried in the past to have conversations with them at times but their replies were yes or no . they wont talk to me. The only reason they sent me an invite was to make DH happy. I just dont think I will walk into a den of rattlesnakes . I dont have a easy feeling about it and I really dont think I will waste my money on a gift when they would never do the same for me. My friend said well she did send you an invite so maybe you should go or at least buy a gift and do the right thing . Well I see that two ways . What is yall opinion ? Thanks.
Perfect advice meerkat.
Perfect advice meerkat.
Oh come on. You ARE NOT her
Oh come on. You ARE NOT her childs Grandma. You simply aren't. Your SD has a mother, and that is the grandmother of her child. Not you! I think you are being a little absurd to expect to be considered the Grandmother.
And lighten up about Facebook. Facebook is ridiculous. I run a business, and I often get requests from people who know me through my business. I like them just fine, but Facebook is where I play and I don't always put my best foot forward, shall we say. It is incredibly common for many people, especially young people, to NOT have family as Facebook friends. It isn't a slight. She just may not want you reading about that hot piece of ass she got last night, or whatever else she thinks you might be offended over.
I refused to accept requests from my DH's family, and I lie them all just peachy. I explained to them that I post some stuff I don't think they would find appropriate or enjoy, and I don;t feel like having to censor my fun knowing they are watching. No one took any offense.
Not saying these people are the best people in the world, but maybe (just maybe???) is it possible that they have issue with how oversensitive you are? Or that you presume a little much??? (like expecting to be "the Grandma"?)
"And lighten up about
"And lighten up about Facebook. Facebook is ridiculous." Exactly! I would also block them. Why torment yourself by seeing their pics in your news feed because someone "likes" something.
Wait a minute - if you marry
Wait a minute - if you marry into a family then you are part of the family. PERIOD. Do you refer to an uncle as your aunt's husband? Is your nephew or niece your sister's child? Of course not, once you are married you are part of the family even if they don't like it. If you don't like your cousin you just avoid him at the picnic but you don't go around telling people he is not your relative do you? No, he or she is just the relative you roll you eyes about and don't care for much.
In this case, the op is that baby's step grandma regardless if baby mama likes it or not. I am sick of step kids that think they can exclude family members and pretend that they don't exsist! Even worse are the BM and BD that let them!!!
And I'm sick of skids who
And I'm sick of skids who assume we'll fall all over ourselves with love and adoration for their kids. SD29 assumed I'd act like someone who cared about her kid. Didn't happen. I didn't marry her or her reproductive system.
Don't misunderstand the
Don't misunderstand the situation, She didn't send you an invite. She shot you a text when someone mentioned how rude it was not to invite daddy's wife & she might miss out on a prezzie.
They've made their position
They've made their position very clear and you are now off the hook.
Do not try to have a relationship with these two people. Delete the FB requests and never look at them again.
No gift. Send your regrets if you receive an actual invitation.
Do not invite these people to your home. Enjoy the peace. If your H wants to visit his kids and grandkids, then send him off with a kiss on the cheek and you can head over to a friends or go get a pedi/mani.
Your SDIL & SD have already
Your SDIL & SD have already shown you who they are. Please do not go to the baby shower. I really wouldn't even rsvp to say no. I would simply ignore the request and I would NOT get sd a gift.
They are rude and treat you like the enemy. I had the same treatment from my skids. My msd had me blocked from fb and therefore I did not even know she was on fb, but later learned she had blocked me. MSD had a baby shower at her mothers and invited me. I did not want to go and my dh was pushing for me to go. dh did not want to hurt msd feelings (in spite of all her past rude treatment of dh & myself). To please my dh I made a beautiful diaper tricycle and loaded it with baby things, diapers, socks, receiving blankets, pacifiers, etc, & even had it set up as if it were pulling a basket and filled it with baby clothes. I went to the baby shower and was very kind and really wanted all of us to get along. I was surprised that they were actually kind to me. That was over five years ago and she as not talked to my dh or me since. At first I was very hurt and it did take me years to accept it. I had never done anything to deserve her hate but now, I say I am so blessed not to have her ungrateful toxic butt in my life.
This is what the invitation
This is what the invitation said I got from SDIL. It wasnt an invite at all to me . SDIL said; diaper baby shower at SD house saturday from 2-3.That was it . I didnt respond and I wont be going . Simple as that.
Good for you Lady. That was
Good for you Lady. That was not an invite at all- how rude!
Stay away from rude toxic people.!
That is a beyond tacky
That is a beyond tacky invite.
Exactly how you have to
Exactly how you have to approach it.
I gave in and friended SD13. She had a pissy pants fit one day and deleted me, then deactivated her FB for a few weeks. After I ordered her Ipod for Xmas. She must have gotten over it (week of Xmas) and reactivated and sent me a friend request. I did not respond and won't. DSO says it deletes all your friends when you deactive you lose all your friends. Whatever DSO, you have no clue, but its FB and not a big deal in my life.
I wouldn't go or send a gift,
I wouldn't go or send a gift, you're not family? Neither are they.
SDIL sent me a text saying SD
SDIL sent me a text saying SD is having her baby shower Saturday
That doesn't even qualify as an invite to me. Ignore.
I wouldn't go. I recently
I wouldn't go.
I recently got an invite to a baby shower for a cousin that stopped talking to me 4 years ago BC I was a bartender in a bigger city so she was asking me to hook her up with drugs. I simply replied that I serve alcohol I am not a street pharmacist. She didn't contact me until the baby shower invite.
No way would I go. If you
No way would I go. If you want to send a modest gift just to show that have class, I would do that. But I wouldn't go overboard at all and no way would I attend!! Good luck
It was a text and not even an
It was a text and not even an actual invitation? Then I wouldn't even buy a gift, that's just rude!!
Sending you an email at the
Sending you an email at the last minute instead of an invitation is like receiving one of those mass produced Christmas cards from the local car dealer: End result, you throw it in the recycle bin and ignore it. SD and SSIL have made their opinions of you crystal clear. I agree with some of the other posters who say this is to show DH you were invited. You can be involved with something else that prevents you from attending. Let DH buy the baby a present if he wants.