Did SD really try to kill herself on Thanksgiving?
So BM comes to visit SD for the holidays (she will be here until after the new year.) On Thanksgiving morning, our phones start blowing up with BM calling. No one ever answers her calls, you'd be a fool to get on the phone with her. She leaves messages saying that SD has taken a bunch of Xanax and that she is "out of contol." She wants DH to drop everything and go "intervene." He refuses to do so, a decision which has absolutely nothing to do with me. He thinks it is all just a bunch of BS drama created by BM. Then SD herself calls and that is when DH answers the phone. SD also wants him to come over saying only that she "needs help." Again, without consulting me on it, he refuses to come over. We go to Thanksgiving at my mother's house. While we are there he gets a text from BM saying that she called 911 and that SD was taken to the ER.
Next day, DH visits SD at the ER where she is on suicide watch and awaiting an open bed in a mental facility. SD says that she took 4 Xanax (BM says she took 40.) SD says she doesn't remember anything and that she just wanted to go to sleep but her mother kept badgering her. She says she wasn't trying to kill herself. SD was transferred to a phyciatric facility where she isn't allowed visitors. She thinks that she will be there until about Wednesday.
Meanwhile, BM has called child welfare services and says that she wants to take 8 year old grandson back with her to California and that SD is entriely unfit. Says that apartment is filthy.
BM takes SD's cell phone and starts calling all of her contacts, telling them that SD has tried to kill herself.
At this point I have no idea what to think or do. Neither does DH, he doesn't know if this is something concocted by BM to cause drama and steal the child. He doesn't know if SD really did want to kill herself. And, does it really matter? To us I mean? Of course I know that it does matter, but what can we do about it?
Also, I'm not sure I'm cool with DH not doing anything on Thanksgiving. His daughter was crying for help and he refused. I don't know whether to be glad or sad about that.
I suppose only SD and BM can
I suppose only SD and BM can really know. 4 xanax may not be lot depending on the dosage. what does the medical report say? The doctors should be able to confirm if she had a lethal level in her system.
If he's dealt with BM and SD drama before, its hard for him to know what is real and what isn't. I don't know if I could fault him for that.
Dh asked the doctor what
Dh asked the doctor what happened. The doctor said "she took 40 xanax." Dh said "how do you know that?" the doctor said that they only know what was told to them by BM at intake. The doctor said that she had xanax in her system but couldn't confirm the amount.
I know that dh is jaded by them both after all the crap that has went down before. I understand it. I can tell that he really does care and he really does worry about her. He was quietly crying on the way to my Mom's house. He just didn't want to get involved in their mess. On one had I completely understand that, on the other hand I cannot imagine my daughter calling me for help and not responding.
So then they pumped her
So then they pumped her stomach, right?
They can't tell you how many,
They can't tell you how many, but they can tell you what her levels were in her system. If she didn't have her stomach pumped, she didn't take that many.
Xanax is fast acting and has a short half life, so if SD really wanted to do something with 40 xanax she could have. Doesnt' sound like the EMT was there super quick with all the phone calls. Sounds like BM and SD were bringing out the drama, but BM went into full force with it.
Well I'm glad she's ok
Well I'm glad she's ok because it could have been worse if the worse had happened, me personally, if my daughter had called, I would have gotten up and went. Have they lied about something this serious for him to ignore something like this?
Attention grabbing technique
Attention grabbing technique ????
I have ss's that say they are going to kill themselves all the time.....and it is for attention....lunatics I say....
I think its sad that kids do this, and that custodial parents play on it....like try to lay the blame on the train wreck of a marriage, the new wife etc as to why their kids are behaving this way....
you poor thing.....what a horrible way to start the week....
No, she didn't have her
No, she didn't have her stomach pumped. Dh asked about that. No they have never lied about anything like this.
Dh thinks that what happened went like this: Sd's latest boyfriend told her that he didn't want to see her anymore because she is a nutjob. SD took a couple of Xanax (she was prescribed a few meds, says she has bipolar, anxiety and depression.) She was trying to sleep but her mother kept harrassing her, badgering her about what she had taken and how much. Then, in order to create drama and have dh come over there, BM started calling dh, acting up a storm, acting like SD had taken the whole bottle.
Of course no one knows what really happened and even what happened is probably a matter of interpretation.
Dh not responding...I still don't know how I feel about it. Not that it really matters how I feel about it, this isn't about me. I know that if I were to call him or if DD were to call him, he'd be there. That I know.
And both BM and SD are going
And both BM and SD are going to blame ME for keeping him away even though I had NOTHING to do with it. In fact, if he had asked me what to do or asked me my opinion I would have told him to go on over there.
BM told him "your other family is more important."
Sounds like there is more
Sounds like there is more issues that are deeper then this, Sounds like SD needs exstream counseling and maybe even a drug prevention program. Xanex are VERY scary..I know because my BS was taking them oraly and snorting them and it didn't take awhole lot to have him blackout. He would be so screwed up he couldn't even open his eyes let alone stand....heck...he couldn't even pronounce a single word.
its scary.
If she is perscribed xanex in her name and BD is concerned with what just happened he can have her court ordered to go to a Rehab/ Menatl health facility if she wont seek help for herself. All he has to do is go to the court house to fill out a paper which is a petition that goes before the judge while he is there, He notes all the factors and concerns why he feels she is a threat to herself. Obviuosly even just taking 4 xanex is a cause for concern. If the Judge aproves the petition then a Sheriff will go straight to her door and pick her up as so ordered and take her to where ever she is going to be admitted.
I dont know the whole story of her, but...I do know what xanex does and can do because of my own BS, and if he had not got picked up for a V.O.P I was going to do this so I wouldn't have to bury him. Even ending up at the E.R for taking the amount she shouldn't have is a beginning sighn of a huge problem. I hope my advice helped :)..I HATE pills...I really do! Because I am a mother that has been fighting this issue for 6 years
Pills are scary and is even
Pills are scary and is even harder when SK or BK are usen it for a crutch for attention by takeing to many to make a mute point because they are selfesh and stuborn.I HATE manipulation..drama drama drama...but unfortunately in these situations you have to take them seriously rather they intend themself real harm or not..its aggervateing and manipulative, and just angers me so much. I hate SK today, I usually dont feel this way..but I do! I dont like any kids today....my last nerv has been offically shot out. Persoanlly...I just dont want to care anymore cuz obviously...Sk dont ! :/ "Ugh",