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Christmas creep

TwirlMS's picture

Embarrassing moments this Christmas all because SD won't grow up and let her dad have a life.
I knew she had issues but she made the biggest awkward display this Christmas when she presented DH with her gift of a book entitled "How to Date your daughter (and not go to jail)".

When he opened that gift, I could just feel the embarrassment in the room. She's been divorced for 3 years, married 12 years prior to that. I think that book was meant for minor teenage daughters, not grown-up middle aged ones.

On her Christmas wish list that she e-mailed DH, she was asking him to go out and buy her a "spoon ring".
We don't even know her ring size and I think it's something a boyfriend should be giving her anyway.
I looked up the symbolism of a spoon ring and it was originally given as an engagement ring for people that couldn't afford diamonds, they fashioned an engagement ring out of a spoon.

So, in essence, SD35 wanted a ceremonious Christmas where my DH gives her a ring and then gets a how to date her book. I'm sorry, but that's just downright :sick:

I know that there are ceremonies where a dad of a young pre-teen girl will give her a "chastity ring" as a promise to dad that she will wait until marriage, but with SD35 that ship has long ago sailed.

DH never bought her the ring, just a vacuum cleaner that i picked out for $400. I am sure she was disappointed.

enuf's picture

Sd clearly has problems. Why would you go out and get a gift for her. Let her dh handle gifts. I have never had a vacuum that cost $400 and I am 62 years. You can buy a new one at Walmart for $70. Expensive gift for a sd who is trying to compete with your status as wife. The symbolism of the ring and book are really sickening.

TwirlMS's picture

She already had a cheap vacuum, she wanted a better one. DH came with me, but i am the one that researched ahead of time all the makes and models, read the reviews and shopped on-line for the best price and found which store had the best price. I picked it out, he doesn't do shopping, especially for household appliances. Smile

TwirlMS's picture

She was stone cold serious. Anyone that has read my posts on here over the last three years knows this is her typical method of operation.

I assume that the book is probably suggestions for places the two of them can go together for daddy/daughter time. :?
The problem is, DH feels awkward taking her on the same kind of dates that he takes me, but that IS what she wants. She wants to insert him in the void that she is experiencing from not having a romantic interest in her life.

I'm sorry but it just can't be done.,......shouldn't be done.
DH has always encouraged her to seek out a relationship with a real boyfriend. Unfortunately, no one seems to want to date her.
We finally convinced her to go on a dating website to meet a suitable boyfriend, but so far no one has been knocking down her door for a date.

Willow2010's picture

"How to Date your daughter (and not go to jail)".
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

EEEEWWWW! Just EEEEWWWW!

ETexasMom's picture

OMG I pray my MSD never gets divorced!!! This would so be her!!! Lately she is obsessively posting on DH's page about their "bond" and how no one can come between them.

TwirlMS's picture

Yeah ewww. I'm sure she was hoping that you would read that post. Grandstanding and in your face as it was.

Tuff Noogies's picture

:jawdrop: :sick: :jawdrop: :sick: :jawdrop: :sick:

robin333's picture

Thank god, this book wasn't in the top 50 results on Amazon when searching "how to date your daughter ".

TwirlMS's picture

She wants a regular activity partner and maybe the enjoyment of stealing him away from me in the evenings.

Not any physical relationship I'm sure. In fact, I heard from DH that her marriage had problems because she actually didn't like sex. She confessed that to her mom when she was a newlywed.

I'm sure she wants to go back to her childhood. She wants to feel special and have male companionship. She has an unusual fixation on a married boss at her work too. Yuck.

TwirlMS's picture

That night when we got home, after DH had gone to bed, i snooped in his stack of Christmas gifts (like any good wife would do, right? Smile but only because i found that gift to be disturbing and wanted to, I guess, satisfy my morbid curiosity of what was actually in it.
I could not find the book in any of his boxes.

TwirlMS's picture

Exactly where it belongs.

I have a hunch that he left it at SD''s house., but I plan to search more sometime when DH is not here.

I know that sounds sneaky but I think I have the right to dispose of offensive things in my home, or insist that he remove it.

It makes me feel icky, like I'm searching for the "other woman's" present.

robin333's picture

I couldn't find the book so please give us snippets occasionally. Should be a great appetite suppressant.

still learning's picture

Mini-wife of the year! SD sounds very infantile.The search results are hilarious when trying to find this book. It shows you just how messed up the topic is. Things like, "How to date a man in jail," "The night Dad went to jail." Next year get her an expensive dildo since daddee is already taken.

sandye21's picture

" --- she presented DH with her gift of a book entitled "How to Date your daughter (and not go to jail)". YUCK!!!! Did DH say anything about it?

TwirlMS's picture

He opened it up, read the title out loud. Moment of silence around the room and then I incredulously repeated the title to him and asked "is that really in the book?" I couldn't believe my ears and no one said another word about it. He moved on to open his next gift . I'm pretty sure he was embarrassed at my obvious embarrassment.

sandye21's picture

I sincerely hope you DH has a private conversation with SD about how inappropriate her gift was. At the very least he should see this as a 'wake up call'. If the light doesn't go on for DH, ask him how he would like it if you gave SD's husband a book about how a stepmother can have an affair with her SD's husband.

robin333's picture

Yuck! You obviously Google better than I do. I got results on how to talk to your daughter's date, dating prisoners...

TwirlMS's picture

She was the one hosting the party at her place. I couldn't leave because DH's grandchildren (her nieces) were still there opening their gifts from us.

I think that book is just one more example of her disrespecting the marriage between DH and I.

TwirlMS's picture

Fortunately, DH and I are leaving in a week for a winter vacation and will be thousands of miles away for 2 1/2 months.
Any dreams SD had of putting her book into action is not going to be happening anytime soon, if ever.

TwirlMS's picture

Well, he's never taken her out on these daddy/daughter dates before. I'm sure he feels sorry for her and doesn't know how to fix her problems. He's between a rock and a hard place for sure.

In the past when she suggested outings that were just the two of them, he rejected the idea, except for the occasional trip to her place to do some repairs around her house. Unfortunately, the last time she lured him over there with the pretense of doing home repairs, she made a date out of it. Had him take her to lunch, go all over town with him shopping for a couch, then made him dinner back at her place and it ended up being an all day thing until 9 p.m. when he finally got home. I ended up eating dinner at a drive-thru fast food alone, not wanting to cook for just myself. i'm thinking what is wrong with this picture?

My son would never expect me to go on a dinner date with him leaving my husband at home alone to fend for himself. Both of my sons invite us over for dinner as a married couple. They never try to exclude DH, quite the contrary. They know and accept that we are a couple.

sammigirl's picture

Have you found the book? I would tell DH you would like to read it. I wouldn't open it, just put it out of sight, until DH is out of sight; then BURN IT!

If DH ever ask about it, tell him "I burned it, I never want to discuss it again". He can tell or not tell SD.

Your SD has over stepped her boundaries; I would be the first one to tell her. I wouldn't leave it up to your DH, obviously he isn't going to put a stop to it. Treat her like you would "the other woman". I am very good at whispering in "the other woman's ear", back off or go to jail!

Keep us posted on what happened to the book.

TwirlMS's picture

She's never respected boundaries and that in a nutshell is how I came to dislike her company.
I don't want to ruin our New Years by bringing up a sore subject with DH. She likes to make trouble between us and I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of causing a fight on New Years.

If DH is smart, that book never made it into our home and will never see the light of day again. He hasn't said a single word about it since that night .

notsobad's picture

Yikes, that's just not normal.

SD(26) and SS(24) have asked me on almost every birthday what to get for their Dad. He's very hard to buy for. If he wants or needs something he goes out and buys it.
They have gotten his truck detailed and a ton of golf balls over the years.
So far the best gift has been a date with them. And I suggested it.
I know it sounds odd but they take him for dinner and a movie or a round of golf, beers and lunch included. It's a nice change from him paying all the time.

Can you get the name of the author? I've done a pretty intensive online search and nothing comes close to the book he got. I'm wondering where she found it and why it was even published in the first place.

TwirlMS's picture

I wish I had the nerve to say something snarky like that. I avoid confrontations.

Thanks for the laugh anyway.

Disillusioned's picture

I think the book was meant more for YOU, then for your DH. Seems you summed it all up when you said she has never respected your relationship with her Dad.

She must have figured this could have the possibility of being somewhat offensive to her SM?

Sum it up to she has some problems

I found the subjects people listed on here when they googled the book absolutely hilarious, and seriously, that is how ridiculous your SD's behaviour was!

TwirlMS's picture

LOL.

I did see a book that I wanted by buy her for Christmas. A book about taking responsibility for her own life and happiness. When I suggested it, DH was afraid it would hurt her feelings.

Cocoa's picture

She obviously doesn't feel she's getting enough of her dads attention and feels SHE should be the #1woman in his life. I would simply tell your dh that THATS his proof that she wants spousal status and INSIST he have a conversation with her as to WHO is his #1 and his next of kin. Needs a little attitude adjustment. He can ask her why she feels she's not getting enough attention and that she probably should be dating to fill in that gap. I love that you are going away for 2 months!

TwirlMS's picture

Great advice. Thank you. I always appreciate talking to the ladies on here.
It helps to vent and hear things from your perspectives.

Yes, the vacation will do us both good, and I have an even better plan for when we get back.

TwirlMS's picture

I tried googling it myself and had no luck.

The authors name and the exact title will probably pull it up. If I can find that information, I will post it on here, but right now the book is suspiciously missing in action.

My guess is that he purposely left it behind (that sends SD a message) or he is hiding it somewhere in our home knowing that it would be fuel for an argument to read it in front of me. Time will tell.

After New Years I plan to bring up the subject, but right now I'm declaring a New Year's truce. We are supposed to go to a party today and I don't want SD 's book causing a wedge. (which is exactly what she probably intended).