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Boundaries for adult step children----

stepmom_5's picture

Submitted by stepmom_5 on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 1:25am

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Adult Stepchildren

I have step children who come to my home, use my computer, let their children run through my home without being supervised all while my husband and I are not at home. I am not ok with this but my hubby thinks I am judging his children and being unreasonable. I am to the point I make rude remarks and will no longer have family gatherings in my home. I am done picking up after adults who do not live in my home!

Am I being unreasonable?

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 1:52am

How do they get in? Do they have their own keys. My step children are not adults yet, I already cannot stand them being here when I am not here. They go through everything. I would never want them having access to my house without us being home, not now, not ever.

forgotten wife's picture

Submitted by forgotten wife on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 9:08am

Unreasonable because you don't want to have them in your home when you're not there, doing what they do? How about they give you keys to their homes and access to their computers? After all, it's "reasonable".

forgotten wife's picture

Submitted by forgotten wife on Thu, 05/09/2013 - 3:13pm

once a person is married to someone who is not the bio-parent of the adult children, those children lose the "right" to enter the home without knowledge or permission. if the bio-parent wants them to feel as if their home is their adult children's home, they should have stayed married to the other bio-parent. it's amazing to me how these bio-parents think the step parent has to feel about their children as they do! give me a break. :sick:

Donnadreams's picture

Submitted by Donnadreams on Tue, 05/14/2013 - 2:35pm

Wink It's simple, tell your DH that from now on he will entertain his kids and grandkids at a restaurant and you will not be attending. He's being disrespectful to you and rude. Just cut them out of your life.

LindaKjl's picture

Submitted by LindaKjl on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 1:23pm

I have the same problem, however, my husband PURPOSELY gave both kids (20 & 21) passcode to the garage door opener; told me that years ago he "bought this house for his boys"; that they are free to come over whenever they wish and further told me that it's HIS responsibility to feed his kids (again 20 & 21). He even went so far as to tell me that he is going to ask them to prepare their own grocery lists so when I go grocery shopping I am able to pick up what his boys want so it will be at our house.