Buying a Home

londonmarie's picture

My husband and I are buying a home. I put down most of the money, but we will be paying 50-50 for the mortgage. We live with both his sons, and of course am planning to have my own child. My question is, wht % of the house would be my kids and his kids...would it be the sell price divided my 3 (2 his kids and 1 mine) or would it be more of a 50-50. 50 for my kids and 50 for his kids?

I just don't find it fair that if we were to die lets say, for his kids to get more than our kid. Am I being clear?

Jsmom's picture

You need a pre-nup for this. Ours is huge and covers everything. I have been widowed for 8 years before this marriage so I protected everything. He did as well. You need to see a lawyer. If he dies those children are entitled to half of the house if their is no will or pre-nup. I can't say it strongly enough I have countless widow friends who have been through the ex-wife taking the house from the second wife after the husband died. Protect yourself.

Ours states that we each get back what we put into the house and half of the equity. We have to have the house appraised and attached to the pre-nup. When my house sells my equity will go into his house and probably pay it off. We have it stated that if he dies, I get the house and his kids get his retirement acct. I get his security acct and the life insurance. You can do it however you are comfortable, but do something. Don't think a divorce or death won't happen. Trust me they do.

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buttercup123's picture

Pre-nup it up. Whatever you bring into the marriage remains yours then and whatever he brings remains his. Then everything you accumulate during the marriage will be 50/50. Di it now!!!!

melis070179's picture

If you both died it would be split equally between all children, unless you set it up a different way.

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

vgill's picture

MY thought on this is, don't die!!!! live to be a ripe old age and spend both of your children's inheritance!!!LOL!! seriously though, If the kids want something let them go earn it themselves, you earned your things and they can earn theirs, besides who wants some 40 year old kids watching your every move hoping you'll die so he can have your things, kinda creepy I think!! have it so that when you go everythin goes up for silent auction and the proceeds get divided evenly by all of your children and who cares who gets what, you'll be dead!!!

Boudicca's picture

I couldn't agree more! A pre-nup or a will is the way to go. My H and I have wills in place. If he goes first, I get the house and everything, except the personal stuff he has left SD. If I go first, the same goes except my sister gets the stuff I have left her. If we both go at the same time or within 3 months of each other, SD and my sister share the estate plus they each get what we have left them. We live in a State with usufruct law. If we didn't have the wills in place and my H passed away, I would have to ask SD's permission to sell the house and then I would have to give her half of the proceeds. I don't think so! Although my H earns more than me, I brought a considerable amount of money to the relationship. I had brought enough for a good-sized deposit on the house - he didn't even have enough savings for a small deposit! I was darned if I was going to let her have half of what I work for! Don't hesitate - get a will or a pre-nup in place and protect your interests!

Marie09's picture

Our situation is a lil different. I owed the house by myself before DH moved in. And my mother is on the house. I told DH that I wont change that b/c of his BM and she's not entitled to what I've worked for. Therefore, if something happens, his children wont get any part of our house. Once we have a child, we will have a will done leaving the house to our child, solely.

tnbadboy1965's picture

And you are wrong. If something happened to both of you then his estate would be entitled to half of the equity in the home that was built up after you married. If your home went up in value by say $50,000 then his estate would be entitled to half of that.

If you were to pass away before him then he would get your half of the ownership in the home. If he then passes away after that his half would go to his children.

This is all assuming you do not have a will to say otherwise. Best bet is to make a will now.

TheBrightSide's picture

No, you are wrong. Any property held as joint tenants will not form part of the deceased's estate. The house would go to her mother. Because the title to the house is held by herself and her mother, if she were to die, her mother would only have to provide a death certificate in order to have the title transferred to herself alone.

Purpleflower09's picture

Well if your both paying for the mortage Maybe it should be equal across the board?!?! I mean why not...is the house going to follow you when you die? Your children will get e decent enough chunk of change. I once heard " you never see a U'Haul follow a hearse".

" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore

Sus's picture

LondonMarie-EXAMPLE: if a house was 100,000 and you put in 80.000 you have 75% down payment and he put down 20,000 he owns 25% of the down payment , the equity (if you both pay the mortgage equally would be split 50% each) so say you divorced or lving with each other). At that time if house was sold, he would get 25% of original down payment 20,000 plus his share 50% of equity and you would get the 75% down payment 80,000 plus his 50% of equity.
So if you both died your Child together should get your entire share PLUS 1/3 of the fathers( if he is your childs BD ), the other 2/3 would be shared between his 2 kids from his former marriage.
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JSMOM-The ONLY way a EX wife can get the house is if the NEW wife moved into a House that the DH owned with (his ex) before they divorced and the EX wife was NOT removed from a deed or was NOT refinanced to removed her name from the deed.(that can be done with a QUICK clain deed and filed removing her BUT you must also remove her froma Mortgage & only way is to refinance) )simple. OR buy THE dh ( YOUR NEW HUSBAND REFINANCING IT )Thus removes her name(the ex wife) on a new mortgage he takes out alone or with his NEW wife.
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Marie 9- IF you owned the house alone, and Married its YOUR HOUSE.IF you die it will automaticially go to your Husband in Most states, if you have your mother on the deed she would get half and he would still possibly get half as a husband. Then when he dies( his 50% will be split between ALL the children UNLESS a WILL Deeds it to ONLY YOUR CHILD SOLEY
HIS EX wife has NO CLAIM on your house & never will unless he wills his HALF to his EX wife. IF he has children,( His share ) would go to them in equal shares. UNLESS ITS WILLED DIFFERENTLY to someone else.(like soley your child) BUT his kids can still fight that) you must give a "GOOD REASON" that you LEAVE NOTHING( disinherit) to a CHILD..easiest is to leave them a TOKEN like 500.00 each and NO claim otheriwise. AND THE REASON why they are DISINHERITED!!!
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Lauren NO THE EX will get NOTHING the house would be split between the children and the minors would be held in trust untIl their of age.
IF you died the DH would get your house 100%- if he died you of course would still own your house a EX has NO claim on your house..NONE(since you owned it alone)
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ALL OF YOU SHOULD TALK TO LAWYERS, UNLESS AN EX WIFE IS REMOVED FROM A LOAN OR DEED SHE CAN GET HOLD OF A SHARE OF THE HOUSE.
PLUS KEEP EVERY RECIPT OF ANY REPAIRS OR PAYMENTS, ETC, YOU MADE ON SAID HOUSE. AND YOU CAN CLAIM THOSE ALSO, IF SOMETHING DID HAPPEN.
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ANOTHER EXAMPLE IN FLORIDA 4 YRS AGO: A FRIEND, LINDA, WAS MARRIED, OWNED A HOUSE JOINTLY WITH HUSBAND, HER HUBBY DIED, SHE REMARRIED DANNY(NEVER CHANGED DEED/REMOVED(OLD) HUBBYS NAME)) SHE "LINDA" DIED, NEW HUSBAND thought HE WAS GETTING THE HOUSE...it WENT TO her ONLY SURVIVING CHILD "JENNA" THE NEW HUSBAND GOT NOTHING, LINDA WAS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS , SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT DANNY HOMELESS. SHE COULD HAVE WRITEN IT THAT HE COULD LIVE THERE UNTIL HIS DEATH AND THEN REVERTS TO HER CHILD...BUT THEY NEGLECTED TO DO IT(A WILL OR TRUST) BOTH WERE IN THEIR EARLY 50'S UNEXPECTED DEATHS...SHE DIED FROM ASTHMA ATTACK , HIM 2 YEARS LATER, FAST TYPE OF CANCER, DIED WITHIN 4 MOS OF BEING DIAGNOISED !!!
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ITS WORTH THE MONEY FOR A WILL 3-500-00 OR TRUST--- DON'T WAIT, WE NEVER KNOW WHEN WILL DIE, I WAS A WIDOW AT 43 YRS OLD.(UNEXPLECTEDLY) I SINCE REFINANCED AND REMOVED HUBBYS NAME. NOW I SOLEY OWN THE HOUSE. IF I DIE TONIGHT IT WOULD GO SOLEY TO MY 3 DAUGHTERS. IF I REMARRY IT WOULD GO TO MY HUSBAND. UNLESS I WILL IT TO MY KIDS & HE WOULD STILL BE ENTITLED UNDER THE LAW TO HALF 50% BECAUSE HE WAS MY 2ND HUSBAND.
====================================================================- ANOTHER FRIEND LIVED WITH A MAN 8 YRS IN FLORIDA, HE BOUGHT A HOUSE, THEN 2 YRS LATER MARRIED (DOROTHY), HE NEVER ADDED HER TO THE DEED, AFTER MARRIAGE. HE DIED 2 YRS AGO...HIS 4 ADULT SONS GOT A LAWYER AND WON THE HOUSE,100% TAKING IT FROM THE WIDOW.ONLY BECAUSE HE NEVER QUICK CLAIMED HER ON THAT DEED, ONCE THEY MARRIED, IF HE HAD--- THE ENTIRE HOUSE WOULD HAVE GONE TO DOROTHY, NOW SHE IS HOMELESS, SHE PROBABLY COULD HAVE FOUGHT IT(AND WON 50%-100%) BUT DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR A LAWYER, AND WON ATLEAST HALF..SHAME, REALY A SHAME...ONLY WOULD HAVE COST HIM 15.00( YOU CAN BUY A QUICK CLAIM IN ANY OFFICE SUPPLY STORE & HAVE IT NOTORIZED) AND A COURT FILING FEE TO RECORD THE NEW QUICK CLAIM DEED IN COUNTY COURT HOUSE TO MAKE IT LEGAL !!!
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ALL STATES OR COUNTRIES ARE DIFFERENT, CHECK YOURS ASAP,"CONSULT A LAWYER!!! YOU can also write one online CHEAP easy to follow and LEGAL!!
Google >write your own will, it will instruct you HOW and its under 100.00

IslandofDreams's picture

Lauren,

Late comment to your post.

I am right there with you. The house my H and I live in was purchased in my name AFTER we married. But it was purchased with the proceeds of the house I owned before we got married.

I argue with him about who should get rights to the house in the event we both die. I do not want his children to receive anything from the house due to 1) they have never lived here full-time and 2) I do not want their BM's approaching me for a "cut" of the house we live in ~skin crawling~ 3)They will receive significant money from his other family members who have no kids.

My children will not receive anything from his side of the family. My side of the family has had to work hard for anything they have. My kids father will have nothing to pass along to them.

I want to be fair to all the kids. But how can I be fair when my kids scrimped and saved with me to buy my first house, which led to the purchase of this house? And his kids receive every single entitlement his wealthy family can give.

shouldIrun's picture

I am new to this and have been researching this stepparent life (it is very difficult). I have read your comments and advice. I am a widow and own a couple houses plus other investments. I am currently dating a divorced man with two teenagers. He has drama with his EX wanting money all the time (which he does not give) and threatens him with court and CS (even thought they have 50/50 custody). My boyfriend and I are thinking of purchasing a home together. Of course I have more in my savings than he does even though he makes more money than I do. I have kids of my own and DO NOT plan on any man taking what my husband and I worked so hard to have for our children. I do plan on a pre-nup if we do ever follow thru in the purchasing of a home together. I do not plan on marrying ever again BUT if we live together after a period of time it's considered a "COMMON LAW MARRIAGE". Even if you do not marry again please keep in mind the common law marriage.

mom2five's picture

The absolute only person who can give you a real answer to that question is an attorney in your state. Every answer in this thread is incorrect depending on the state laws.

MadeMyBed's picture

In my state as least if you are listed on the deed as "husband and wife, tenants by the entirety" then what happens is this: one of you dies, say DH. The house goes to the spouse (you) and vice versa.

caregiver1127's picture

DH and I have wills and on the deed we are listed by tenants by entirety - our lawyer tried to convince DH that if he would die then his son my SS should have half of the house - I looked at the lawyer like he was nuts and said so if DH dies my SS can make me sell the house that DH and I have equally paid for so he can have half of the proceeds - what planet are you from - The lawyer said well he needs to take care of his son too. DH and I looked at each other and just shook our heads - we have wills where everything we own is left to the surviving spouse and if we both die together - we left everything to my sister in a trust - if the kids are under 21 she is to help SS16 with college and DD who is 4 would live with her - if the kids are over 21 then they get the money we have together equally and DD gets all of my Life insurance policies - we set it up that BM could not have any control over the money - we figure at 21 if SS wants to give her money that is his choice. But he gets none of my insurance policies.

Orange County Ca's picture

His share is 3 and yours is one.

He has three kids you have one.

His kids - all three of them get 3/4ths.

Your kid - gets 1/4th.

So your bio-kid gets 1/2 and his other two get 1/4 each.

Remember his other two will inherit from their mother whatever she may have.

If you have more children just redo the figures.

That's the split. I found a living trust to work great as it gives a surviving spouse the right to live in a home for instance while not being able to change the terms after the death of the other spouse. I.e. he can die knowing you can't cut his kids off.

Are you sure you want to marry? Step children are often the bane of a family. There must be thousands of guys without kids who you can marry.

Rags's picture

We set up our will for each to be the other's beneficiary and heir. We only have one child (my SS) so in the event of our joint demise he gets it all, with some beyond the grave strict parenting controlls in place over the trust.

My parents struggled with the same issue you are struggling with. Originally they wanted to leave their estate in equal shares to all of their BioDependents. My brother actually brought up to them that since he has three kids and I have no biokids that their proposed distribution would not be fair to me. He also told Mom and Dad that it was our responsibility to provide for our own children (he and I). I had not thought much about it but what little bro had to say made sense to me.

So, Mom and Dad made my younger brother and I equal heirs and beneficiaries to their estate.

I can see in a situation where your DH has children with someone else that his children would share his half of your estate equally and yours would split your half plus a % of DH's if they are his kids with you.

Did that make any sense at all? :?

Best regards,

Rags's picture

The house would not be the kids property. It would be joint property held by you and your husband. A Will can distribute the % ownership to the children as you dictate in that Will.

Get a lawyer to help set up your Will or try Legal Zoom.

I would for sure get some kind of contract in place with your DH idicating that in the event of a divorce you get your down payment money out of the house plus half of any equity.

IMHO of course.

Best regards,

Rags's picture

It is my understanding that in most cases the asset transfers to the surviving spouse. If you want to allocate part of your estate to specific individuals you will need a Will.

The problem with a Will is that if one spouse survives the other then the surviving spouse can allocate the estate as they see fit. Even a joint will can be changed once one spouse is deceased,

One way to care for your children without having to worry about wills and a surviving spouse making the decision on where your assets are directed upon the surviving spouses death is life insurance. A will has no bearing on who the beneficiaries of a life insurance policy are. As the owner of the policy you pick how much coverage you want and who it goes to on your demise.

My life insurance goes to my wife. If we go out together it goes in to trust for our son. Our will dictates that if one of us predeceases the other then the surviving spouse gets everything with the exception of some family heirlooms that will go to my parents, brother and nieces and nephews.

Get a Will and get some life insurance.

IMHO of course.

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SillyGilly's picture

You need to see an attorney that specializes in estate planning. They will know the laws of your state and you and your husband will be able to spell out who gets what and how much and what they are supposed to do with it, etc.... as well as various options as to "how" to leave it regarding taxes, etc... My dad is an attorney that specializes in estate planning. Majority of people "worth" anything don't have the proper documents in place to execute their wishes upon death. Even if there is some kind of "will" if it is not up to date or written correctly (and assets titled correctly) things will get sucked up in probate and/or court if someone wants to challenge it.

Rags's picture

I think that your joint child with DH should get a full share of his half and all of your half. Of course a Will will ensure that this happens.

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foxxystep's picture

According to the laws of our coutry, a will does not supercede the rights of matrimonial laws. Meaning that if you married without pre-nup, 1/2 your joint estate automatically goes to your spouse. the other half i what you bequeath. You can't will out your entire house when your husband is protected by matrimonial law.... Best you do a post-nup, and a will.

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neveragain's picture

Originally, I had it set up that my husbands 50% would be split 3 ways (SS, and our two kids together) and my 50% would be split between our two kids. Now that we're divorced and I got the house, it will be split 50/50 between my 2 kids and nothing for the SS.

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liks's picture

lets just say there is a will and a pre nup....

If one of the skids or bio kids feels they have been shafted...they have the right to contest the will...and should it be proven that they are owed more - they will get it...

I am one of them step children who was shafted...big time....

I challenged it in court and ended up with 130k 30k of it went in lawyers fees...but I did get the best free law firm known to help me....

so....I warn you to be careful wen drafting up percentages....