What should I do with constant letters from ex wife?
Let me just start off by saying that i am so new to this. The ex wife is a crazy person who has had her hand in everything when it comes to making my life miserable. She has called Child protective services on me and my fiance. (her ex)All together we have 6 kids and one on the way. 4 babies are from my previous marriage and 1 child is from my husbands ex. We also have a child together. So all together we will have 7 once the baby is born. This girl thinks she can write me letters bashing me about my parenting skills (meanwhile her child is barely 2 years old) All she does is make declarations to the court about her having diaper rashes when we drop her off and because we have so many kids that her child would be too much for us to handle. She is constantly complaining about something. I did write her back and let me tell you I let her have it. I am hoping that it won't have an impact on my fiances side. Considering that i really dont have a say so as it is about their daughter leagally. She constantly states that her and my fiance will raise "their" child. How can that be? He sees her 4 times a month and thats it. She doesnt let him see her. So how can she sit there and tell me how to dress their daughter and how to do her hair. I basically told her not her or any court system is going to tell me how to raise her daughter. That when she is in my care we will do it our way. Do you all think I should just quite with the letter writing back and forth and just forward all the mail to her lawyers office?
my advice is do not engage her if these letters are going nowher
sit down and think of some sort of form letter that does not antagonize her any further.
Yes, you should quit the letter writing, but keep all that you receive.
Let it go...
Let her wallow in her own misery. Bottom line is there is nothing she can do about what goes on with your SD when she is with you and your BF. As long as the child is in no danger, than there is no leg for her to stand on. I agree with holding on to all of the letters, but I would not fuel her fire by responding. It would only bring you down to her level, and you... my dear, are better than that.
***Claiming Sanctuary***
it is a sickness
some people feel important when they cause grief for other people it makes their life more tolerable.
dont responding, she does not deserve your time.
Someone said to me once, if people are talking about you then you must be on their mind.
dont give her the benefit of of taking up time in your life!
I agree keep all her letters!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
Ignore her and the letters.
As long as you let her meddling get to you, she'll do it even more because she knows it irks you. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile, trust me on this. It's hard to ignore them, but it'll get easier with time. If you don't react or get defensive to her ridiculous claims the theory is that she'll get bored. But like a lot of EW's they just do these things because they have nothing better to do and they're mad that you have something they want: your FH. Even if they were the ones who divorced the husbands, they are incapable of growing up, getting a grip, and moving on. Unfortunate, but true. She wants to have control where it's not her place. She can do whatever she wants when she has their child, but she has absolutely no control over how you guys do it at your house, and that subsequently drives her crackers! Too bad and tough shit! She wants TOTAL CONTROL, but she can't have it. End of story.
Another thing you can do is turn it around by taking pictures of anything that is questionable when she comes to your house and keep it on file. The key is to document, document, document. You can play the game but she doesn't have to know about it and if you ever end up in court, your lawyer can spring it on her and see how quickly she turns white!
Document everything. Keep everything in a file. Do you have a lawyer? Keep copies and make one for your lawyer and if there are ever any questions, you have that info as your way of Covering Your Ass (CYA) at all times. Believe me when I say that this is a HUGE topic on this website and there's plenty of venting and ranting about it. Welcome to the jungle!
MJ24
thanks so much
Yes of course we have everything documented. No my fiance does not have a lawyer. We gave him up. He was just costing us too much money and the whole telephone game was getting old. Sometimes he wouldnt relay messages right and it was just too much. I told my fiance that will ever happens is up to the judge anyways whether or not you have an attorney. I just see her using the fact i have a lot of kids as leverage for herself to show i can't take care of her child too. All of our kids are under the age of 7 years old. So after reading all these posts on here i am so in for a wild ride. I am 8 months pregnant and this woman has tormented me beyond belief. I am actually questioning whether or not to marry this man, because along comes his ex wife. I guess since she knows i dont have a say so in courts she figure she would tell me how to run my household. She is always throwing in my fiances face that "they" will raise there child and not me. Hello? He lives with me not her. He sees her a whole 4 times a month. That is the way she wanted it. I just told her thanks for doing the favor and not rubbing her child in my face. Totally sarcastic of course. I love the little doll she even calls me mommy. How sweet is that?
Thanks cruella
She is a nutcase. That is the very thing that i am worried about is her twisting what i say. So i guess i should just recieve them in the mail and not open them. because if i do i know i will just have to say something snotty to her. It's funny because she says i am harassing her. Why because i am with her man? And we have 2 kids together! She went as far and told my fiance that the child we do have is not his. How does she know? Was she in my windows? The thing is she messed up. She didnt even want him in the delivery room with their daughter. What kind of messed up crap is that?
So true!
If we don't mention anything to her then she will just think nothing of it. I thought I had a tough skin but she is clearly proving me wrong. I was just naive to think that people actually think like this. I would hate be in bad with a woman that i left my children with. Not that i would take it out on the kid but I would want that reassurance that we had an understanding. I shook hands with my ex husbands new girlfriend. Which totally shocked him. I figured he was "her problem" now. Why should I hate her unless she gave me a reason. She just picked up where i left off. That is why I do not understand why my fiances ex doesnt do that. Get this....she is a labor and delivery nurse. I should purposely go have my baby at her hospital...hahaha...no way then she may drug me up and say I am unstable.
Better things to do !!
Anything and everything you do will always be a issue for her, Sounds like ALOT of jelousy on her part. I would keep smiling and be kind because kindness is alot stronger then being mad or hateful.
When your kind NO MATTER how bad she pisses you off she will actually be the one thats losing it because she is not getting to you.
I would not respond like everyone said, I would just blow it off like its not even worth your time and energy, You have better things to attend to, like your home, children and hubby, infact if she ever called thats what I would tell her.