"I have a great ex-wife!!!"

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

that did not ask for more than my fair share and DO NOT call my ex and his wife and make crazy demands ..blah blah
but I can bet you a nickel he would not say I was a good EX!!!!
ha!

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

because "great ex-wife" is almost an oxymoron.

I'm sure my skids BM thinks she's a great ex-wife and can justify every single thing she's ever done. It's just a matter of opinion I guess.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

and I haven't breathed the same airspace for years. Our children are grown so I never have to see him if I don't want to----and since it looks like my kids will ever marry (27,28,29 soon to be 28,29,30)I won't have to even see him at a wedding.
He gave me child support for 6 months until my daughter graduated from high school. Not a red cent more. I never asked for anything more. Granted, I did get the better house! he he he

He has a new woman (for ten years now) & I wish him well. She gets no grief from me AT ALLLLLLLL! I don't know if my kids irritate her, they are all college educated & financially responsible. She is damn lucky to have entered into a normal family environment that is not dysfunction junction. I hear she is dying to meet me because my X speaks highly of me. I don't wannnnnna, I could care less about them. I have total indifference.

I do have to say my FH ex leaves us pretty much alone, she is over dramtic sometimes and not a great mom but she does not interfere when the kids are with us.
but when she needs to be SUPER mom she is on the phone with FH whining and scheming!!
no one is a great ex otherwise we would not be an EX right??
LOL..

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

And good for you Sunflower! I too am a kick-ass ex-wife. I thought about what Colorado said about whether or not I would be so awesome if things didn't work out so well.

I SHARE my daughter with my ex in a 50/50 split parenting plan. He parents in his house and I parent in mine. My ex and I are friends, my ex is friends with my DH and my ex mother-in-law still takes my son (from another dad) around with her because she still wants to be a part of his life (again, its not her grandchild).

I think everyone involved in this situation is great, we are all able to act like adults, none of us are control freaks (by the way I AM a control freak by nature but I have learned that I just can't be that way anymore, it was driving me crazy and making those around me miserable so I had to let go.)

I would LOVE to have 100% control over my kids and their affairs, but thats not what is best for them. It killed me when my 10-year-old son told me the other day that he WANTS to live with his dad, but I have to remember that I'm not in control of everything. My son's dad is a great dad and is perfectly capable of caring for our son, so even though it kills me, I have to let go.... not only do I have to let go but I have to pretend that I'm happy about it too to show my son the support he needs.

I'm kind of going off on my own thing now but I wanted to thank Colorado for the difference in perspective, it really got me thinking as I often wonder how and why it is that I have such a great situation with my ex but my DH has such a contaminated one with his ex.
I think maybe its because DH's ex DOES NOT have full control (we have joint custody of my skids) and she can't get over it.... she wants nothing more than to control everything and everyone she comes accross, she is very manapulitive and does not put the interests of her kids before her own. She can't or won't move on and she can't or won't let go and live her own life and realize that her kids are not possessions.

I'm glad that I don't have to live that way, I know that at one point I was headed down that path but I'm glad that I didn't get too far. I've felt a lot of pain because of my hard head, I've had to take a lot of hits but I have finally learned to "Let go and let God" (as my dad says). It hasn't always been easy, but God has never put more before me than I could handle and I have learned great lessons along the way. I am so grateful that I don't have to live in a self made hell like many others, not just BM's but also a lot of SM's and its nice to hear that others are taking their power back.

You go Sunflower!!

Your ex is lucky to have an ex-wife like you!! My DH and BM were never married...but she always had that element of hope I guess. She still watches the birth video of their daughter and gets all nostalgic and sad; and actually tells SD this! And she'll come over on visitation weekends and say that they were watching the video..and do a play by play of how DH was acting with BM.

She hasn't married and has had on and off boyfriends, but nothing serious. I posted something about the BM being nice all of a sudden..I just don't understand it!

How do you respond when your kid(s) ask why you and daddy aren't together anymore?

BM watching the birth video is kind of strange..... almost like she just wants to see she and YOUR dh together in happy times.

Honestly, I know that would bother me (especially due to the fact that she is sick enough to involve SD in her obsessive and bizzare antics....)
I would be mad but then get over it and remember that instead of being angry you should be grateful, grateful that BM didn't know what she had when she had it, because if she had been smart enough to see a good thing standing right before her or if she had cherished your DH they way he deserves then you may not have him now.
When it comes to my DH's ex I pitty her because she go through life destroying relationships and burning bridges. I silently pitty her and sometimes even pray that someday she will find some form of comfort. How sad for her that she cannot find a man to be happy with for longer than a couple of months, to settle down with and maintain some sort of stability/"normal life". How sad for her that she has to obsess over OLD videos to catch even a moment of happiness which I'm sure is quickly dissolved when she steps away from the TV and realizes once again that the life she could have had will never be hers because even when she has a good man right in front of her within her grasp she will eventually destroy each and every relationship that has the misfortune to enter her life.

Don't trust BM, she is being nice for a reason and that reason will surface sooner or later. She is not nice just to be nice she wants or feels that she needs something. Just wait, it will come out.

I would always be civil toward her, you should be civil toward everyone you meet, but don't be her friend and don't trust her.

By the way, my bio daughter has been asking her daddy (my ex husband) why we aren't together. When she asks me these questions I remind her of how lucky she is because now she gets an extra mom and an extra dad and more brothers and sisters (2 step brother on dad's side and a step brother and sister on my side), she gets 2 of every holiday and birthdays and more people in her life who love her.

My daughter's SM is a hairdresser and so I remind my daughter that she wouldn't get the cool haircuts if her SM weren't around. My DH is a big construction worker and hunter and has exposed my girly girl to things that she would have never been introducted to without him like hunting, camping and getting dirty, I remind her of how lucky she is and how we all work together to shape her life and keep her safe.

The why aren't my mom and dad together questions are normal, you just have to work with what you've got and make the best!

"Don't trust BM, she is being nice for a reason and that reason will surface sooner or later. She is not nice just to be nice she wants or feels that she needs something. Just wait, it will come out."

Okay...thank you for your response You're a great BM! I believe though that DH really things she's had a change of heart...how do I stop him from being such a sucker? He probably thinks I'm crazy for acting this way...but either way, if BM had beliefs and she's going against it, it must be hard for her to flip the switch and be nice..even if she has ulterior motives..UGH!...Why oh why must we have to deal with her...sigh. I can't wait until SD gets a little older so we can just deal with her...

double post

I don't cause problems for my ex and his fiancee...life goes on and she can HAVE him..lol...he did some terrible things to me too, but it doesn't mean I'm going to make him miserable..the only thing we share anymore is a child and he's too busy for her and I'm sick of calling him for visitation...the past is the past and there's no reason for me to make trouble for him and his girl...I have my own life and don't see the need to hang on to the past...

My ex would proably say I'm a good ex wife, were close to friends. we can talk about the children and life and laugh. he lets me live my life and i live my life. but my husbands ex wives would proably not say the same thing i don't brother them but i don't let them run me over either so that always pisses them off.

I haven't seen, spoken to, emailed, written, sent a message to, contacted or in any way intruded into my ex's life in the over ten years since our divorce was finalized, except for one signature that I needed on one document four years ago and to get that I contacted him through a letter.

My husband's ex is an absolute joy... as long as we don't ask to see the kids more than a few times a year, don't call them too often, don't ask about their schooling, don't request medical information, don't ask to be a part of the decision-making process and don't try to get involved in their lives beyond paying CS, sending money/gifts and providing insurance.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)