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What happens next?

dsngrl's picture

Submitted by dsngrl on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 2:43pm

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Family Court

BM filed for a motion to modify the pplan months ago and we had a pretrial conference a couple of weeks ago.. currently joint legal, joint physical, 50/50. However, we pay for everything, day care, health care, etc. she pays for nothing, but she is going back to court for sole custody and child support (the whole ball of wax). She is doing this because it is no cost to her (free attorney and no court costs). However, there has been no change of circumstance in the past 2 years. Another thing, she hasnt submitted any financial docuemnts since she filed. wW have submitted all of ours.. First question, is there any consequences to not submitting the required documents (ie. tax returns?) There is a court date set for in a couple of months. So, what happens next? The lawyer is confusing to talk to..

My other question is since she dropped this bomb i have been documenting like crazy.. i have a calendar whre I write notes in each day we have our son and what we do with him, and also any interaction with BM. We also keep every email.. is there any thing else i need to be doing to "document"? Does anybody have a useful system of keeping track of everything for future court dates??

Jouma's picture

Submitted by Jouma on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 3:04pm

Document your involvement with the schools (if they are in school) and medical visits, as well as BMs involvement. If kids aren't up to date on yearly doctor exams or immunizations, dental visits, update them yourself asap and of course document it.

We kept a journal of things we were doing for/with the kids and things BM was doing against the parenting agreement or what was having a negative impact on the kids on our PC, and wrote every doc/teacher visit on our calendar at home. We were also able to show the judge the type of lifestyle BM was leading by presenting screenshots of her facebook account (that didn't help our case per se, but the judge was able to see WHY BM wasn't involved with the kids school and what she was doing instead of taking kids to doctor visits. She rescheduled her kids surgery so she could attend a meetup.com event, for God's sake!)

Keep it up. BMs should not see their kids as a paycheck. It's sick.

VAStepMom's picture

Submitted by VAStepMom on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 3:41pm

If you have an attorney, he should be asking for all her financials... incl last 2 years W-2's, copies of bank statements for past 2 years, etc....

Make sure he gets them!

Also make sure you have documented any out of the ordinary expenses you have had to pay the past 2 years... Braces, etc....health insurance, dental insurance....

Take your calendar, create a type written log in a WORD format. Start with the date then tab and type notes. You will want this typed up. Make special notes... ie: 3rd weekend in a row we had kids, BM switched visitation again, BM did not attend teachers conf... etc..

Sole custody will give her more $$$. That is why she wants it. You can countersue for sole custody for yourself... interested?

Good Luck.

dsngrl's picture

Submitted by dsngrl on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 4:08pm

thanks for the ideas to document. it is really driving me crazy.. My husband is not really the documenting type so i believe it has to be up to me.. I really appreciate the advice.. we have LOADS of things I can write about and I have a really good memory when it comes to these things.. it's just going to take me some time to get it all typed up for the past 2 years.. its draining thinking about it, but I know it has to be done.

I would think if she is dragging her feet that this plan would backfire on her and the judge will see she is wasting everyones time? Does anybody have experience with someone that tries to skirt around court orders?

We have our plan of attack. Just waiting for the right moment. Any suggestions on what to do in the meantime before the trial? Does anyone know what happens at trial?