we spent $10,000 to modify custody of SD11. All we got in return was every weekend custody (instead of whenever BM felt like it) and then custody during the week at summertime. Whooppee - now we get to pay child support AND summer camp while BM just sits on her ass and pays for NOTHING!

well i guess dh got lucky. His retainer was 1500. He had to pay an extra 100 for a processor server to serve BM with papers for an emergency temporary order (she ran off with sd for 6 months, and there was no previous order before). He had 2 trials, 1: BM said she didnt have a lawyer and wanted to get one 2: the trial was held the next week and everything was hashed out. Dh had to pay an extra 200 for that trial. Here we are almost a year later and they are just now about to get a permanent order in, its all typed up and ready to go, just need a court date.

His lawyer said if they go to court again (to fight her/him to get primary custody) then he would have to pay the retainer again. Not sure if his lawyer is going to ask for more money to go to this court date, i suspect he will as its almost been a year since he's been paid, but I dont think DH will pay him, especially if its just to make the order permanent as him and bm both agree on it. So all in all, he has paid about 1800, but it helped that Bm changed her ways and became more agreeable.

at first the temp. order was EOWE, but dh moved closer to be with sd 4 months ago, and bm agreed to joint custody when he moved there, so now thats what the CO is about. So if its a motion to change custody, it would be alot more $$.

Around $7,000. The divorce took 3 years. BF wanted 50% custody, BM refused only because she knew that using SS was the only way she could hurt BF, and she didn't want to give up the CS. So it dragged on for forever. 2 months after the Divorce Agreement was signed and submitted to the courts the b*tch offered BF 50/50 custody (physical and legal). Would have cost an additional $5,000 to go to trial.

The equivalent of $20,000 - 14 years ago. Ex moved to the other side of the world, fought me on every single issue and dragged it out for over 2 years. I didn't even bother trying to enforce the CS order.

DH and I spent over $10,000 to finance a 2-year custody battle. In the end, BM got physical custody of SS and the CS amount doubled.

My own divorce cost less than $200

SO's divorce so far has cost over €25,000 and he's not done yet.

DH paid all court costs and a lot more to the tune of $102,500.00 :jawdrop: - and then my SS17 had the nerve to say this summer that his BM pulled herself up from nothing after the divorce because DH left her with nothing - we pulled out the divorce agreement and the 401K he had to split with her and showed him the numbers - that shut him right up. Dh was left with barely nothing - he has a company that she never helped with so he had to buy her out and other factors - she cheated and he was left with nothing - it is surprising that he is not bitter about it all - thankfully for me he holds no resentments - he is still pissed as hell about all the money she got especially the day about 8 months ago when he thought he had the full amount in his 401K and I had to remind him that she got half - but he does not hold her money grubbing ways against the entire female population.

we're probably around $50k

NONE!! I refuse to spend my HARD EARNED money on anything when it comes to crap like that! Dh on the other hand only spent about $800 I think? He had an awesome lawyer that didn't take crap from bm or her attorneys. Now bm is scared to go back to court, why I'm not too sure but all we have to do is say to court we go and she straightens up. We have it pretty good. Doesn;t stop her from trying to be nasty to dh but he counters her very well.

DH paid $1,500 for the original divorce in which he got custody of the skids. BM didn't bother to show up.

That lawyer actually sucked. If BM had shown, I'm sure it wouldn't have gone well. He sucked, screwed up the paperwork, it's a long story, but it actually worked in our favor.

We hired a different lawyer for an additional $1,500 to go to court when BM was trying to undo the original decision on custody. For that $1,500 we got 3 or 4 trips to court and won every time.

So, $3,000 - 4 or 5 hearings and nearly 3 years later, it's still going in our favor. The lawyer's even handling a traffic violation DH got in July for us for free on that same original $1,500 we paid for custody issues. The man is wonderful.

This last go around we have spent 10K and counting. Gave up the kid and still costing us since BM won't give us a counter offer. Insert profanity here....

Over the course of our 16yr journey of protecting our son (my SS) from his SpermClan we have spent ~$10,000.00 in attorney and court related costs. We have spent another ~$12,000.00 for our half of visitation travel expenses.

Your experience with your attorney aligns with our experience with our first attorney. We spent 10X more money on the phone with that attorney than she actually earned by doing work.

When we found our current attorney (we have had him for ~11yrs) we have spent less than $2000 and gotten far more done.

I recommend that you find an attorney who will develop a strategy for delivering what you are looking to accomplish and aggressively pursue that goal rather than keep an attorney that basically does nothing but tell you that “you have to be reasonable” or “you are going to have to work this out with SpermDad/WombMom or the Judge will just get mad at you”

I don’t pay for (pardon my language) Pussy legal representation. I pay for someone who will push for what I want accomplished.

Fortunately we found someone who will do just that.

He asked us the following questions when we first consulted with him.

1. What is it you are looking to accomplish with this action?
2. Are you doing this for the best interest of the kid or to screw biodad?
3. This could be expensive. Are you ready to pay for it?
4. If I do not think what you are asking for is reasonable or attainable will you listen to my suggestions?

If your attorney does not ask these questions …. Find another one who has some testicles. I don’t care if the attorney is male of female as long as they have some stones.

Best regards,

About 12k so far. Our attorney is a decent guy though, to be a lawyer. DH paid initial retainer, and although the attorney asked for a retainer on every hearing we've had, he allowed DH to make payments instead.

We have custody now. It was 50/50, but BM's unwillingness to cooperate, her lack of support for the kids (educationally and healthwise, among other things), insisting on disobeying the PA, ultimately buried her. She falsified documents to get an outrageous amount in temporary CS. She used his old business records, from a business that had collapsed. DH paid what he could (which, in the end, evened out to what the what was ordered on the permanent order, and the judge made it retroactive). She moved the kids in with her boyfriend (and told the judge, while living with him, that she has had no relationships since the separation with DH).

She lost all credibility with the judge. I think we could have won our case without the attorney. We did all the legwork, and at times had to push him to file for hearings or to use evidence. He didn't want to file a contempt hearing for her living with her bisexual boyfriend (they were bringing her other boyfriends around while the kids were there, too, so there's no telling what the kids have seen/heard), but we insisted and she was held in contempt. But it was good to have him to point us in the right direction when we needed things.

If BM is lacking in general areas where mothers are supposed to be supportive, take that and run. Talk to the schools, attend all their meetings, make sure they are up to date with immunizations and checkups, and document it all. However, if BM is on top of all these things, I wouldn't waste my money. She will most likely win.

Over $25,000 for BM to say "there's something wrong with her & it's too late to fix it now" when SD was 11 years old. She dropped off SD & moved 8 hours away.