Not at all. In fact, it's been really perplexing to me. BM dumped DH. Kicked him out of the house, and in fact told him that if he wasn't out by the end of the week she would call the sheriff.

She filed for divorce, she refused all attempts on his part to reconcile. The entire thing was her idea. Because of the kids, he would have reconciled, up to the day the papers were signed.

And yet, she's a complete psycho. She absolutely hated it when we got serious. And when we got engaged, it got worse. When we got married, she went weapons-grade psycho. She causes some major sh*tstorm at least once every couple of months. And sadly, it hasn't gotten any better when she's had a boyfriend.

BB

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin

Same here, BM wanted it, filed, cheated on DH, but then did the victim flip-flop (you left US). Cried when we got married (but she had a BF), etc. Far as I could see, it was all playing the poor me sympathy card.

DH is a big softy, would have stayed in hell for the kids. Knew his son would go off the rails and did, knew BM was useless as a parent (they were teens), knew she'd trash the house, etc. But he ended up giving her and them their own way and now they all have to deal with their messes themselves. No more Super Dad to the rescue. Tough love is working on the kids, glad to say.

Well, DH wanted the divorce. She kept cheating, and getting pregnant by different men, but thought DH should play daddy to them anyway. She doesn't like that he doesn't cater to her when she wants something and doesn't like that I "call the shots" (her words) but she is normally reasonable and certainly doesn't like arguing with me (I don't sugarcoat for her, I'm brutal) so she pretty much leaves us alone. My ex though, is a complete psycho and it took him about 4 years and a steady girlfriend to lay off the craziness, but he still doesn't like my DH simply because he exists.

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

In our situation. I am a BM as well and I divorced my daughter's father because of his giving me a STD while I was pregnant with my daughter. Once I got out of that relationship, I just felt at peace. I didn't care what he had going on in his life.... I was just glad I didn't have to be responsibile for or suffer as a result of what he did. He chose not to be a part of his daughter's life on a regular basis... But i still move forward and don't look back.

NOW on my DH's situation.... He was never married to BM but she however is highly upset that DH did not marry her after SD was born almost 7 years ago. AND she has still not gotten over it. Our marriage is his second marriage... and she still tries everything under the sun to cause drama - simply because he had the nerve to marry someone else.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

*

Yes I'd agree with that Crystal. When the dh's ex left him she denied, denied, denied she was having an affair with this particular individual. But lo and behold, was caught by one of my dh's family in a local bar with this man, looking aghast at being found out.

Strangely enough, when dh met me and her relationship went belly up, she became the woman scorned and stated she could get dh back if she really wanted!!! Bizarre. No denying she is deluded. She has been married twice since and is now living with a convicted sex offender... I kid you not.

I think because her life is crap, she goes out of her way to make life for everyone else around her that way too.

Dh wanted the divorce bc BM wasn't improving even with counseling. He told her he was leaving bc he would rather be alone than stay with someone who didn't love him.
She was greedy during divorce proceedings, difficult when we began dating and even more difficult and "woe is me" when we got married. She has shown she's not above PAS in regard to SD11. I don't think she'll ever remarry and if she does I may die of shock...that'd be reason enough for her to do it though

I don't think our situation would be better/worse if she left him or he left her...I don't feel it matters. Some women are just crazy bitches and some aren't.

~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~

They got married because she got pregnant, and it was always troubled. They separated once but he went back for the sake of the kids, and they both did their own thing on the outside. DH finally left when she said she was in love with her lover and planning to have his baby, and he made sure she was the one who filed. I have two theories 1. Even though the marriage was bad, she didn't really want the divorce because she was being taken care of financially. 2. She wanted the divorce based on promises of a great life with her lover, but he jilted her and went back to his own wife.
Either way, she doesn't want my DH, but she wants his money and she does not want to see him happy, she basically wants him to pay for her life turning out the way it did.

DH was working on the road when crackhead BM moved in her crackhead boyfriend at the time. She told DH to find somewhere else to live. DH and BM hadn't even been married a year at this point. They got married when BM got pregnant with SS6. He was still an infant at the time. DH says he never loved her.

BM and DH agreed on a divorce. BM got a lawyer and started the motions, but said she couldn't afford the lawyer so she never followed through. I think truthfully, she just wanted the safety net that was being married to DH.

So, DH meets me about 2 years after their separation. We discussed marriage early on, but I told him I didn't want him to ask me to marry him while he's married to someone else.

He files for divorce. Although BM has had six different men live with her in this time period WITH the kids there, (classy right?) she flips out and can't seem to believe that he no longer wants to be married to her. Starts telling the kids that she and daddy would get back together if it wasn't for me. The oldest is like, but you lived with all of these other guys before dad even met stepmasochist?

So, she wanted the divorce when she was whoring around and then didn't when she wasn't - which have been very small windows of time. She's sometimes crazy and sometimes she seems sane. I think these BMs want to have their cake and eat it too. They want some schmuck (our DHs) to always be around to be their whipping boy and wallet. They don't want to have to appreciate them for who they are or anything they do for them. Call it crazy, self-absorbed, delusional, whatever you like.

Dh ended their marriage. They had a phase in the end where they went back and forth. He stayed elsewhere than went back b/c she would get the kids to call him and say "daddy come home". Than he left for good. We met and she went super crazy. Before I was in the picture, she was trying hard to get him back but he was miserable with him. We have a very good, solid relationship and that just pisses her off even more so for the first year, she tried everything to come between us and break us up. It was hard but I trusted my DH and our relationship. I hated him talking to her b/c I felt like if she got him alone, she'd try and jump his bones. I still years later dont like them talking about anything past the boys b/c she will STILL go back to when they were together and that he broke up their family and blablabla. She has a man and has been dating and more recently moved him in. Her man is a felon and straight up loser!! I think if she ended things, she may be a little more dealable, but she didnt want the marriage to end.

Bm was cheating all the time, she got caught one time because she had hickies all over her so she told dh she was raped. She decided to tell dh one day out of the blue that she was engaged to be married. I guess no one told the moron that you can’t get married to someone while you are still married and living with your husband. She then moved out and said she was going to file for divorce but never did, even though her wedding date was approaching fast. DH ended up having to file. She has since been remarried and divorced several times because of her cheating problem. She can not let go of DH, she went completely psyco when we got married. She doesn’t want him but no one else can have him either. He has made it completely clear he hates her and only communicates because of his son. But she still thinks she is entitled to him. What a loon she is.

I couldn't disagree with that statement more. BM cheated on BF, of course blamed him for everything because she has no sense of personal responsibility so it was his fault she cheated and now proceeds to continue on with the lack of personal responsibility and claim that she's entitled to whatever she wants because she suffered so much. give me a freakin' break. I don't care who dumped whom, they're all psycho.

Well, I don't know what to think in my situation. BM cheated on DH and SHE didn't want to be married anymore. She is a lesbian, has known that since she was a teenager. Cheated with a woman for 3 years and numerous other short relationships that DH later found out about. DH tried to make the marriage work after...tried to make her straight (yeah, I know...good luck with that.) They were in therapy and BM refused to try and make it work. She wanted out...so, they divorced.

Sooooooooo.........why did she flip out when DH married me, 6 years after their divorce??

I can't even count the number of hateful, evil jealous rages, the acting like I don't exist, the turning the kids against us, the nasty text messages/emails/phone calls/voice mails. WTF?? BM blames DH for the divorce and plays the victim!! haha...WOW!! YOU wanted the divorce...YOU are a lesbian...YOU ARE CRAZY!!!

That's the only answer I can come with!!

Love :o

**Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!**