Update/DH has kindly offered to give SS12 "the talk"
I brought this up a while back and want to catch everyone up. See below under "ORIGINAL POST" if you need refreshing of my amusing situation.
Since I've last posted, two weeks back I spoke to my son about girls again. This was the 3rd conversation we've had. This time it was in light of him whistling at some girls walking by while in the car. Ahhh!---Can you say embarrassed? I talked to his dad about it and was shocked that he hadn't talked to him like he agreed. The discussion became heated and in my anger I fired off saying the my DH can talk him if he can't---I knew I launched one hell of a missle then---It got very ugly! But when things calmed down BF said he got my point and would talk to our son.
Fast forward to this week. BS12 was caught reading about the reproductory system, a chapter in his science book, instead of working on his project. He also got into trouble in english class for making his commas look like little penises---Try keeping a straight face to a teacher telling you that one. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Later that day I brought this up to his dad and--Surprise Surprise!!--he still hadn't talked to our son. I didn't fight this time. I figured I'd done my best to make him step up to the plate. Its due time for alternatives or else risk being a young grandma.
Needless to say, it has yet to be resolved. BUT, I have a plan!! Over 3 months in, it appears that BF can't breakout of his denial. After some thought DH and I decided to let my step-father due the honors of "the talk" that my BS12 so desperately needs. My DH and brother will follow up the aftermath to give him a more modern point of view.
With all soon to be settled, that teacher's phone call has left me realizing what a little perv my son has turned into. Is this normal? Do you any of you guys experience this with your BS/SS? I was raised with 4 brothers and I'm still kinda freaked out.
ORIGINAL POST:
My BS12 is really starting to notice girls and visa versa. I know his BF had sex for the first time when he was 13 and he's not the first guy I know to have sex that early. Me being concerned of the fast approaching maturity of our boy, I brought it up to BF about BS12 interests and he should talk to him about life's choices, girls, condoms, and the like. He was in disbelief but he agreed he would talk to our son.
So, that discussion we had was over two months ago and never mentioned anything to SS12 about anything. I'll chalked it up to his denial and vented to my DH my disappointment of XH and my ever-growing concern for bs12 regarding this matter. DH said he would talk to his SS12 about all that if I wanted him to.
Have any of you talked to your Skids about sex or had your DH talk to them? Is it a good idea?
BTW...I talked to my son about sex before but i know there are just some things guys only talk to other guys about.
When my BS was 12, he
When my BS was 12, he started to tease my SD (then 13) about having her period. I knew that she was mortified and I knew that she was checking to see what my reaction was going to be. I told my son that he had no business teasing her about this and since he was so ignorant as to what he was talking about, his punishment would be to read a book on sex and sexuality that had been produced by our provincial department of education (an excellent resource that covers everything). Well. you would have thought that I was trying to kill him, the way he went on, crying and pleading with me not to make him do it..lol.
The long and the short of it is, I have always encouraged all the kids (bio and step) to ask questions and I've always answered in a way that just imparts the information so they can form their own opinions. I do give them some insight into my own value system but I don't beat them over the head with it.
My SD started her period when she was only 10, and I was the only one to let her know what was actually happening with her body. After that, she always came to me with her questions because she could depend on me to give her the info she was looking for in a clear and non-judgmental manner. In fact, after she became sexually active, I was the one to take her for her first PAP and appointment with the Well Women's Clinic where she went on birth control.
Our relationship has gone south (to say the least) but I still would have handled this issue exactly the same way. Knowledge is power and what these kids don't know about sex can definitely hurt them. Some one has to pick up the ball and if the bio-parents won't or can't, then who's to say it can't be the step providing the info.
Like KeeKee said there are a
Like KeeKee said there are a lot of books on the subject. Its possible neither man will be up to the subject. No pun intended.
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100 years from now it won't matter if you were successful in business, church or your social circle. But it will matter if you were important in the life of a child.
Well you can't assume he is
Well you can't assume he is a pervert...he is a boy who is curious about sex. Things are happening to his body and his feelings and his mind that he has no idea why he has those feelings or thoughts. It MUST be explained to him and he must learn what is going on and he MUST learn from an early age to respect girls and women.
" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore