GAL says there is no reason to change custody

This is the first time I have ever seen my husband cry. My husband, who has deployed three times. My husband who hardly displays emotion. I broke down about three minutes into the phone call but DH made it the entire phone conversation then tears rolled down his face once he hung up.

The GAL decided that SD seems well adjusted to the schedule so there is no reason to modify. The pages upon pages of documentation of what SD has told me are considered "he said/she said". GAL did not meet with SDs counselor. Even though hex has pulled numerous amounts of stunts, none of it is "enough" to change custody.

Lawyer said it would not be wise to progress with the trial given that the GAL is not siding with us. He said we can submit new language and clauses to the parenting coordinator to add stipulations to curb what hex is doing. The most hex would get in court is a hand slap by the judge. DH thinks we should go ahead with the trial. Clauses in a court order that hex is already NOT following are not going to help. The woman hasn't followed the JCP in years! DH hugged me and told me he tried. He wants to see this through.

I'm just done. Wtf is the point? What's the point of any of this? We did things "right". I did things right. We documented. We didn't trash talk hex back. I'm so over this. And you know what? SD turns 10 soon. You know what that means? 2 years from now we will be going through this again. When hex tells SD she can talk to the judge and "choose" not to come here. So what's the point???? This is so damn STUPID. I can't tell if I'm so angry and hurt I don't care, or if I'm truly apathetic. I don't care about this. I don't want to care about this. My heart hurts for my husband. Here's a man that paid a thousand dollars a month in CS, lives in the same town as SD and WANTS to spend time with her. Calls her every night. And the system says no. The system has reduced him to a sperm donor, visitor and ATM machine. My heart hurts for my daughter. Who will not understand in several years why SD doesn't come to see us anymore. Who has been mocked and called "half blood". And my heart hurts for SD. The poor girl has been emotionally abused and has no idea. Yet she will ALWAYS love her abuser more than anyone.

I'm done. I'm just done.

Toastergirl's blog
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Comments

Said with kindness: Time to

Said with kindness: Time to lay down your arms and end this battle. SD is only a few short years away from being able to choose where she will live and you already know it won't be with dh. So even if you had won at all it still would have been a temporary victory. She is her mother's daughter. She has similar behavior and she has been raised to believe her mother's behavior is normal. Show her another example during your visits. Maybe you will plant a tiny seed in her mind that things could be different, then leave it at that.,

^this^ and I am so deeply

^this^ and I am so deeply sorry. I understand both you and your husbands reactions and thought processes. So very deeply sorry (hugs)

This is just another example

This is just another example of how the system is biased and one sided towards the mother. Dh has been fighting 9 years for 50/50 custody even though he always had ss with him. Finally, after thousands of dollars and two years of trial, we found a psychologist who listened to ss. It is a long fight and it is very one sided. You can try contesting the GAL as sexist and finding a new one. That's what we did and next week is our last court date to finalize a 50/50 schedule.