I would move in with MIL then, with DD... now ay I will leave DD with DH, what's he going to do, call the cops?
It's not like you moved in with another guy and he can't see his daughter... hell you are visiting the in-laws

You can simply ell DH - start parenting your brats and I might not do this, or get use to it cause this is how it will be when we divorce, you will only see your DD EOW...

Perhaps trade EOWE. Not so much SM leaving the home but rather the girls taking turns getting to stay with Grandma (with a parent in toll). It also leaves your little one at home all but once a month and you too.

If Dad is worried about separating the girls, you could consider a joint lunch and afternoon activity all together on Sunday (if SD is tolerable in 3-4hr doses).

I don't have all the moving parts you do. But I have been leaving the house in chunks of time while SD17 is here on weekends.

I do not have a set plan. Once in awhile I go for an overnight visit with a girlfriend who may live out of town or is planning a little adventure.

But more often I hang out with a friend who is competing at a dog show (can take all day if you want) or simply set up a social event with one or more people. Or disappear into a long list of errands.

My ss misses me, I think. And my dh does. But it has saved my sanity. For about the first 2 years of marriage I felt a compulsion to stay present all weekend and try to act like a family. Or at least a nice group of people who live in the same house.

Oh, the drama. Finally got it through my head that girl was simply radioactive. I'm much happier not being present.

Your dh may have his worries and allegations on the front end but as the tension disappears his own happiness may increase.

Or not. With your own little kid in the mix it's very different. All I know is if I had a little one I would not want him/her anywhere near my sd so I can definitely feel your pain.

I left the house for the weekend ONE time when SDthen16 was coming over. He allowed her to bring a friend, and that didn't seem unreasonable.

I came home to a DISASTER. They'd died each other's hair red and then with their red dyed hands, made it look like they were zombie victims. They got red hair dye EVERY FREAKING WHERE. I just cleared out a dresser drawer she'd been using (since she's now 18) and found MORE RED HAIR DYE inside the drawer on the paper lining. I can't believe that 2.5 years later, it is STILL haunting me.

DH didn't have the common sense to

A) have CLUE what was going on
put an immediate stop to it
C) have every single drop of hair dye cleaned up before I came home.

She had it all over towels that she stuffed under the bed. She had it all over the white carpet, and tried to hide it by putting stuff over the spots (worked for DH, not for me). She had it on door handles, all over the newly renovate bathroom walls, all over the inside of the tub, all over the sink, on the backs of chairs, all over the pillow cases, the walls in the bedroom, bedding, and a zillion other places I can't now remember. Oh, the floor in the kitchen. It was spread from upstairs to downstairs. And DH didn't bother to tell me; I had to ask, "What's this?" And then I heard the story.

So, that taught me to leave the house when skids were coming over. I own this house; it's my investment; they have destroyed more things than I can even count; and I had to be here when they were here and frankly they lost their "welcome" when SDnow18 was 17 and a half. I was just D-O-N-E. If he couldn't control here, I wasn't going to have her here. I told her to take the sleepovers to his parents' house or his sister's house, but I was done with dealing with it here.