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Wealthy Custodial Parent vs our broke selves!

whatwhat79's picture
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:? I need to further research this, but I thought I would ask those that are actually world experienced rather than read law code this instant. I am engaged to a man that is divorced with a 7yr old son; we have been living together for years before becoming engaged. Currently he picks up his son on Fri & drops off Sun every-other weekend. When he & ex divorced son was only 1yr old it was 50/50 shared custody, but she moved recently & now lives in a different town & school district so they obviously had to modify the visitation (not court documented). When they divorced it was because she cheated a few times, he walked away with nothing, not even a chair or a place to live. This was not a marriage out of love it was done for obligation only, which backfired horribly. I *personally think because she is of old school family wealth & did not want him to make a big public display of their marital woes she DID NOT ask for child support at that time in their divorce docs (lucky him!), plus I am sure they were both were eager just to be done with the situation I think

Fast forwarding to now, we by no means are wealthy & rent a small condo with absolutely no space what so ever, we have what I classify as a middle income lifestyle & extremely happy with where we are together in this life BUT things have been a bit on edge with fiancé & ex recently (I stay out of it!) & he has a feeling out of anger she is about to file for child custody, it sounds crazy to me since she lives in a multi-million dollar home & never worked a day in her life that she would now want child support since her lifestyle has not change a tiny bit since the divorce. I personally think she is p*ssed that he is about to get remarried & is happy. Of course this all is right in line with us looking to purchase a home & possibly have children of our own together. We were even thinking if we worked our finances out him possibly being a stay at home father when we do have children of our own! My honey does not make much money at all right now, but I do decent with my career & I am concerned that if she does pursue child support that this may catch us at a time where possibly we have a new mortgage & possibly children in the near future. I live in Texas & I believe this state when calculating child support does so based solely on the non-custodial parents income & does not factor in custodial parents at all. I believe child support is necessary don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that he should not provide for his child because he should & does (new school clothes, medical insurance, entertainment, food, sees him as often as possible, etc.), but what I am concerned with is what IF he is a stay at home father with our child & has no income, will they come after mine? I so dearly want to marry this man & live happily ever after with him because we both deserve so, but I am a smart cookie & do not want to get burned here! Anyone have thoughts, just trying to brace myself here?

texstep's picture

Texas bases CS based solely on the NCP parents income; 20% of the NCP's net income per month. If the NCP is WILLFULLY unemployed (i.e. being a stay at home dad by choice, and not because he was laid off) they will base CS off of 20% of his net income for the previous year; like whats listed on his tax return, because that is what he has the potential to earn. They will not come after yours.

One loophole for you guys--I know that for there NOT to be CS calculated in a divorce decree in texas, both parties have to AGREE to it. When my parents divorced, my mother had to sign a wavier/agreement that as the CP she did not want to file for cs. I don't know if those things are still used, but it was my understanding that she couldn't go back and sue my dad for CS unless there was a drastic change in her circumstances. So she MAY have to prove that her circumstances have significantly changed since the divorce to prove that she NEEDS cs now. However, that being said, your FDH going from 50/50 to EOWE will probably count as a significant change; Bm is having to provide for him more days that she was before.

whatwhat79's picture

I said recently, but it has been closer to 2yrs with the EOTW now. My time flies, I had not realized so quickly! I wonder how a judge could justify that as a "change" years after the fact, her finances have certainly NOT changed! boo Texas is a stinky state when it comes to their rules

momof3vt's picture

If there was no child support ordered at the time of the divorce, then most likely BM signed something waiving that right. She would have to prove a significant change to warrant receiving child support now. The fact that you went from 50/50 to EOWE could have some impact. If DH becomes a stay at home dad, he will not have employment by choice so cs would be based on his potential (what he would have made had he not left the workforce) While it is based on his potential and not your income, you would ultimately be paying since he will have no income. Also means you would probably be covering insurance too (if you aren't already)
In my experience, the BM's usually stay out of the picture until there is some significant change in the ex's life (marriage, new baby, etc) My DH's ex never bothered us, not even when we got married. However, when I got pregnant, she then tried to take us to court for all kinds of things thinking I would buckle due to stress. She then tried to tell my sd that her grandparents would never visit us again because the baby would take over the guest room. Some BM's are pure evil!

Kilgore SMom's picture

I agree on the above. When we went to court the judge we went in front of, in texas doesn't believe in a parent male or female not paying child support. So ours was based off of a 40 hour week at minimum wage. So it may depend on the judge.

whatwhat79's picture

Ughhh I thought all of this & you all just confirmed! It has been EOTW for about 2yrs now. It really stinks that we only went to EOTW solely due to HER deciding that the $1.5 mil home wasn't enough & needed a second one much larger, more expensive & on a body of water in another town. Somehow that turned to be our fault it seems & here our budget for a house is 1/10th of the "small" one! People's ethics gross me out at times!

whatwhat79's picture

Thank you, no I never said that child support should NOT be paid!! Just that ME, I, MY INCOME really should NOT be paying for it after all I DO use condoms & birth control in my relationship & have never married a crazy. All I was saying is the decisions we make NOW could prevent that from happening & from ME making financial mistakes now not anticipating having to cover HIS kid's expenses, trust me he doesn't want that either! Maybe day care is indeed in our children's (if we are so lucky) future rather than a stay at home parent!

texstep's picture

Not in Texas. CP income does not matter, it's a strict percentage of NCP income unless both parties agree otherwise in court