My SO is going for case conference for custody on Tuesday
I work in child care, so I work split days. As such, I have the ability to attend the case conference with my boyfriend.
Currently He and BM2 have 50/50 custody of the two boys (10 and 14) and BM is wanting to move family to another province because her husband is going back to working out of office for his job there (as opposed to being able to work out of province for it as he was). It's not a rare job, it's a IT Tech. They're pulling for shared custody, but primary care so the boys will live with them.
The custody is obviously between my SO and BM2. However, I'm sure BM2's hubby will also be at the case conference. I want to support my SO, so I should go, right? If she says I can't be there, then He can turn and say He doesn't want her husband in the room either---since he has (I think?) as much right to be there as I do.
Does that make sense?
I'm just wondering if it is a horrible idea to join Him in this. I'm concerned if I don't show up for this, anything in the future BM2 might say 'well, why does she suddenly care now?'
=-s I don't know.
Marriage confers some rights
Marriage confers some rights on a person and one of them may be to accompany a spouse into a hearing of this sort to the exclusion of all unrelated persons. I.e. you may be out and her husband can stay.
But listen, ignoring the hearing, why are you involving yourself with a guy with such a crummy track record? He's a proven loser when it comes to marriage and even if he is suddenly reformed having learned from past mistakes his hands will be over filled dealing with 2 ex mothers and 3 children one of which if I'm reading it right he is legally responsible for but having no blood ties with. Why interject yourself into this mess when there must be millions of unattached and childless men roaming Canada looking for a girl just like you? OK OK maybe only a hundred thousand. Most people make the same mistakes over and over again when it comes to relationships which means he's made a mistake with you and you'll be number three AND YOUR kid will just be number 7 on his list of mistakes. 3 exes and 4+ including your kids.
You've really got to think this through and after the hearing give serious thought about ending this relationship. Far far better to start over now than 3 or 4 years from now with 1 or 2 heartbroken and confused kids tugging at your hem. After the hearing tell him you've made a mistake, take the blame to avoid arguing, and made a quick exit which is best for all concerned.
I understand your stance, but
I understand your stance, but his marriage was when he was 19. He didn't care at the time, but She wanted to get married since she was pregnant. They got married in their pajamas.
She ended up being batshit crazy, and he stood his ground and he left, eventually with their daughter to keep her from the mess that is her mom as much as possible.
That relationship was a good 7 years long. He was together with BM2 for about 5 years, and eventually ended it when he found out she was stealing money from him. In the thousands.
He is absolutely perfect to me. We compliment each other, and I had that click when we first met. I have absolutely no doubts that I should be with this man. Period. I never wanted kids myself, to raise them in the world that we've destroyed, with the hardships that I've dealt with---I've never wanted to put a child through that. He's got his own kids, and that's fine. He's not having anymore kids. That's even better. I myself have no kids, so there are only 3 kids in this equation.
I understand your explanation about the marriage potentially giving the husband rights to the room, so who knows which way it will go.
Child support isn't an issue
Child support isn't an issue in this case. It has been defined that it won't be asked for if they win the case.
As far a know, there's
As far a know, there's nothing that BM2 has ever claimed against me. Whether there is or not, I don't know, but I don't believe so. The best she could claim was that SS14 doesn't like me (because I set rules). But It does makes sense saying I should be there in case she does make claims, that I can protect myself.
BM1 was a marriage with one daughter, now a transman. BM2 wasn't a marriage, just long term, and they had SS10 together, and SS14 was hers before they got together.