Hey-Just Checking in

Forums:

So im the one whos dad died, the Death Certificate says "blunt force to the head". Widow said he "fell off the roof" and she had him creamated and funeral before the daughters could get to New Mexico. We were in Alaska having my sisters husbands funeral. Well I was supposed to be executor to the will, but Widow would not produce any new will, so she filed Intestate-with no will and got PR(exeutor) for herself. It took a few months,and our attorneys didn't do anything till she got PR, so we fired them and I took over representing the daughters. I won the right to fight the widow in New Mexico, we have to have a trial. She signed documents "UNDER PERGERY of Law" that there was no previous will and no reason for her not to be PR. The prenup that she and my dad signed said they waive the right to act as PR in each others estates. She should actually be in jail. she stole $350,000 from my dad, she tricked him. but I finally get my day in court. she will get over a million from my poor dead dad, but she will not get the Alaska properties that have been in our family for decades. I still dont like the circumstances in which he died and the young caretaker marrying the elderly man, alienating him from his family and then tricking him out of his money is getting to be a tiring scam. When this is over, I will be glad to be done with her forever. She burried his cremains at the very edge of the United States, so far away that the daughters would never even go there for any reason, just extra headace and heartache to visit a gravesite that my dads spirit wont even visit after death, unless the daughters were going there.

I am so sorry that you and

I am so sorry that you and your family are having to go through this. I cannot even imagine.

That the NM courts are starting to wake up and address this from a fact based rational perspective is good news.

Your situation highlights that in the Blended Family world toxic can land on either side of the Bio/Step interface.

I hope that your day in court returns some justice for your family.

My condolences on the loss of your dad.

Sincere regards,

Rags

I'm sure you're in so much

I'm sure you're in so much pain and grief right now with two funerals back-to-back. I've lost my dad as well, under traumatic circumstances, so I know how painful it is. I think it was at least two years before I even started to feel like "myself" again. I'm especially sorry you didn't get to say goodbye.

Work on healing and don't make any huge decisions for a while. I hope you and your family get some justice and are able to heal from this.

Thanks Rags and TwoOfUs for

Thanks Rags and TwoOfUs for reaching out. I don't expect to get much support on a stepparent website, but this is my place to vent as a stepparent for 23 years and I'm glad to be thought of as a human and a person with many roles, daughter, mother, sister, stepparent, stepdaughter, grandma, Wife. My suffering has been debilitating, the fear of being disinherited mixed with suspicions over dads death, keeps me frozen and unable to think or move very well. Thanks for letting me know you are out there and you hear me.

Oh...well I'm very pro-SM on

Oh...well I'm very pro-SM on this forum because I think the vast, vast majority of people who come here to vent are hurting and at the end of their ropes after trying for years or even decades to blend successfully...don't think they need to be dumped on more, subjected to gaslighting, or criticized for minor slip-ups...as if they don't beat themselved up enough already.

But in real life...I know there must be some awful stepmoms just like there are awful people in any role...awful moms and dads, grandparents, employees, etc. The fact is, entitled, sneaky people like your SM are very unlikely to ever be seeking help on a forum...because they don't think they're doing anything wrong or that they need any help.

My dad passed away while on vacation with my two youngest sisters. He was really young, so initially they suspected suicide...that totally destroyed my world because my dad had always been the happiest, most hopeful person I knew...but he had been sick for a decade so maybe it got to be too much? I tried everything I could to wrap my brain around it.

They suspected this because of his age and because he only had a few of his prescription painkillers left and he had just refilled the prescription before he left...so they assumed he OD'd on purpose. But the toxicology report showed no excess drugs in his system...his heart just stopped from the years of stress. Later, we discovered that he had a safe where he kept his pills and he only ever carried enough for a couple days on his person...so that's why there were so few. But those couple weeks until we got the reports back felt like torture.

Anyway...probably TMI. Just saying that I really, really understand exactly how horrifying it can feel when your dad dies under "suspicious" circumstances. The suddenness and the unanswered questions adds to the trauma exponentially.

Please don't forget to take

Please don't forget to take care of yourself through all of this.

We hear you, and we are here.

Sincere regards and condolences,