Dads funeral service
My BIL, my sisters husband passed Nov 23, and funeral service was scheduled for Dec 15, this saturday. My dad had tickets to fly back to alaska and drive from anchorage in my rental car to BILs funeral. Well he died on Monday when he fell off the roof. My Dads wife of 10 years son who Ive never met arrived to take care of his mother. They scheduled the funeral for my dad on Monday, the 17. My sister and I will not be able to make it to my dads service because we will be handling the memorial and clean up of the rental of the Elks club. I will be flying back monday to the lower 48 but am unable to find tickets that will get me to the memorial. They dont want us there anyway or they would have given us a few more days. He was cremated today. Her son said it was going to be very very small service. He said they are doing the obituary and they will send it to us after they are done. I sent the info to the son with numbers and information to get the ball rolling for her to get the inheratince. I dont have any information, my dad just told me the name of company in a dream after he passed. I called the company and they said I was 4%, my sisters will both be 4% and his wife will get the rest. I knew this was my dads wish. he wanted me to be the executor because he knew I would fufil his wishes. The son thanked me for the info, because they havent been able to find anything as far as inheratance. I asked for the name of the funeral home and he didnt really want to give it to me, but told me sun- something. I called around until I found the right funeral home. They were nice enough to help me to get a letter and order a death certificate. I need the letter to take to the court house to get them to release the will. It is in Alaska and I only have one chance to get it tomorrow after I fly in. they will be closed sat and sun and I leave monday. She gets the house in new mexico and colorado. We already know that. Dad said the daughters will get the alaska properties, so I will be interested to see what the will says. I will be fine no matter what It says, but if $10,000. each is all we get, should I really take on the headace of being his executor? I will have to use my whole $10,000. inheratance to insure she gets the lions share with none of the estates funds to get the job done, and I dont think they want me to be executor anyway and may try to throw a monkey wrench in my trying to put everything in her name.
SO is just winding up his father's estate
Basic expenses of settling FIL's estate are being taken out of the estate prior to distribution to the 3 children. In some states, the executor can charge a % of the total or hourly, I think, to handle everything. Multiple states, multiple beneficiaries sounds like quite a potential headache. If you are named as executrix in the will, I would not assume that fulfilling this last obligation for your father will financially hurt you. Check with a lawyer if you find yourself named.
ETA: Their wishes are not relevant in that your father's will should identify his executor and final wishes. An experienced estate and tax attorney will be a huge benefit to you even though it will cost $$.
Indigo is correct
The executor, or personal representative, or whatever the designation is, does not pay out of pocket to cover the expenses in taking care of an estate. All expenses are paid by the estate. In almost every state the executor is also paid for their effort, either an hourly rate or a percentage of the estate. Do not hesitate to take just compensation for your efforts - just keep good records of your time.
As the executor, you will need several original, certified copies of the death certificate. Don't get just one. Many companies and entities will only accept certified copies of the death certificate, they won't accept a copy run off on a copy machine. My Dad had a fairly complicated estate and I used up all 12 originals that I started with.
Yes my uncle died
Yes my uncle died unexpectedly around this time last year and his wife had some number (less than 12) and it was a nightmare. Unfortunately he died in Mexico so it was all made much more complicated. This was an intact marriage with only bio kids of them both and I assume she got everything so it wasn't really complicated or emotionally fraught (other than normal deep grief) or whatever and it was still HARD.
Have you asked them to
Have you asked them to postpone the service so you can make it? If he was cremated it doesn't matter if it is this week or next week? Certainly they would so that his daughters can make it. By the way.. Let's hope the properties are in Trust or you may have probate cases in 3 states!!
You are being very kind to
You are being very kind to this stepmother who tried to push you out of your father's life. I wish I had that kind of forgiveness in me.