Does BM have a leg to stand on?
DH was given full legal custody 2 years ago (right around this time actually in 2011) and a parenting plan was put in place and has been followed to the T until now.
We have had several reports in the last 6 months regarding BM's husband's aggressive behavior toward the children and toward BM in front of children. The reports have been more frequent and more concerning in the last 2 months, to where SD10 has been texting her dad messages "I am so tired of this, dad! I don't want to be here anymore!"
After this last weekend we heard from both girls that their step dad was arrested (they did not see him arrested, and their mom told them that she has a restraining order.... which is weird because the girls called Friday and saturday with complaints about SDad's behavior).
BM's phone is no longer active and she did not supply us with a new number, so we had no way to reach her. DH made an executive decision to tell the school that the girls are not to be picked up by anyone except him, and come home on the bus until further notice. So when she arrived at the school on Wednesday for her 6hrs of parenting time is when she found out.
She came to the house and started ranting and raving about how he was violating a court order and he couldn't do that (of course). DH made it very clear to her that until he has proof that the girls are not being put in a compromising environment, they are not to go over to her house. He did however, reiterate that we have a house phone specifically for the girls' use that she can call to speak with them, and also made a good faith effort in extending the invitation to set up a time to come visit them at our house.
The only information she was verbally willing to give was that she has a restraining order on her husband (which could very well be untrue). Other than that, she just kept telling DH "It's none of your business!"
I honestly don't think she would be foolish enough to take him to court because she is obviously hiding some very incriminating information from DH that the judge would end up exposing. I also don't think going to court with a restraining order on her spouse is going to look good on her at all. But there's still a chance that she could run to the courthouse, because that's her solution to everything when she doesn't get her way.
What do you think? Does BM have a leg to stand on?
If BM has court ordered
If BM has court ordered visitation and your DH is not allowing BM to have the kids on her time, DH is violating the CO.
If he is concerned about his kid's safety, he needs to go to court to get the CO changed. He just can't take the law into his own hands.
And if BM has a restraining order against her husband, that could actually work in her favor, showing that she removed the harmful element from her home.
Here's the issue: How is a
Here's the issue: How is a restraining order going to stop her husband from coming in and beating her in front of the kids again?
How is it going to stop her from changing her mind (which she has done several times in the past) and deciding she wants to "try and be a family again"?
We have attempted to report these concerns to CPS and spoke with several caseworkers and they have all said "since there is a custodial parent, that parent is the one that has an obligation to keep the kids safe."
Also, BM lost custody due to her completely disallowing contact with the kids (no phone calls or anything) "without cause or reasonable explainaion" (is what the court order stated), and this is the difference CPS has explained to us.
Another point I want to make is that when DH has attempted to obtain emergency custody based on the kids' statements, the court denied him because of "lack of evidence." So basically until their are marks on the kids, they don't give a shit if they see their mom getting pushed around and hit.
I understand your
I understand your frustration, but that's the way family court works.
Just ask Echo, her husband beat her but the judge still allowed him to have visitation with the kids. The judge said he didn't beat the kids.
What's really pissing me off
What's really pissing me off is the fact that she's refusing to provide DH with proof of this supposed restraining order and tell him that it's none of his business. He is the sole custodial parent, and his children are witnessing domestic violence, I'm pretty sure it is his business!
Try checking your local court
Try checking your local court dockets. In MD it is all online and very easy to check anyone's name.
Yes. Your DH is in contempt
Yes.
Your DH is in contempt until he gets an emergency order. If
he can get one which I doubt since she has taken the only
measures available (RO) to protect the kids.
He is in contempt according
He is in contempt according to the CO and if she takes him to court for contempt it will be the decision of the judge if he is found guilty. Our BM kept the kids from us, she said she was "worried for the safety", we took her to court and the judge said to give the kids back and not to do it again. That was it. The judge seemed sympathetic with her bc she felt she was doing what was right by her kids even though there was never even a slight amount of proof to her accusations or anything else. IF you go to court just plead your case that you feared for them. If there is a RO, the judge can find out and also find out the charges and everything in regards to her husband being arrested and that can validate your worries. Most likely the judge will tell your husband that the "danger" is no longer there and you guys need to go back to following the CO. There is just always a chance of him getting fined and found in comtempt though.
Good Luck.
Your husband does not get to
Your husband does not get to unilaterally change a court order like that. If he feels it is an emergency situation he can try for an ex parte order in court.