Back to court
6 years ago, my husband was granted primary custody of his son and daughter after their mother moved an hour away from their hometown, family and school. We have rotating weekends and holidays and she is granted 1 day a week visitation for a couple of hours after school. The youngest (daughter 13) has recently expressed interest in living with her mom because she doesn't like the rules and consequences at her dad's. Her mother has informed us that she has filed to try to get custody of their daughter. She did ask their son (15) if he would like to live with her and he told her that he was prefectly happy living at his dad's because he liked his friends and school. My husband is awaiting an appointment with his lawyer but my question is, does anyone have ideas on how this could play out? I know because she is 13, the judge may consider her opinion but in reality she misses her mom because her mom isn't putting in the time with her when she should. When at their dad's they have a wonderful extended family support, they live in the same town/school district since they were born and they both do very well in school. They both have an excellent relationship with me (their stepmother) and I have been in their life since they were 4 and 6 and have been married to their dad for 5 years. My husband and I have 2 sons together (ages 2 and 3) Admittedly my relationship with his daughter has suffered over the last year or so because she got defiant that she no longer needed to listen to me because she plans to go live with her mom. When they are at their mom's she is often working or leaving them home alone, or home to babysit their 2 year old sister. Neither of them have a good relationship with their step father. They don't dislike him, but he's just not that involved. We are strict and the kids both know that we mean what we say. Son has learned to live within these rules and understands what he needs to do in order to stay on our good side. Daughter seems to just want to rock the boat and knows tha their mom does not discipline and is easily manipulated. Logically, daughter is much better off living with her dad primarily, however I'm worried about how things will get played out in court. Would the judge really grant her custody when she hasn't been putting in the effort over the last 6 years? Would the judge really rule to split the 15 year old with his dad and the 13 year old with her mom?
This is stress we do not need in our lives!
In my situation the GAL,
In my situation the GAL, Custody evaluator and the Master's hearing were originally for my SD12 who is PAS'd by her BM, to live with her BM and have the SS's live with us. Then the Judge ruled to grant us 50/50 custody and in her own words "against her better judgement, please proove me right" as she looked at BM. The Judge warned BM that she will lose her children if she keeps this up. The SD12 was made to come with BF for his custody time, but her and BM raised the bar in their efforts and SD is now successfully estranged from her father. Per BF, SD12 no longer comes over because of her destruction. It got so bad here that her brother's never got a break from her behavior.
The Judges in the past all felt that structure and limits were essential for raising the skids. Which is what it sounds like at your home. Our SD12 hated the fact that we had rules and limits,(BM has none, is never around and doesn't work) and fought the whole way with BM's help. We actually had BM on speaker phone during one of SD's outbursts and BM was encouraging her to run away. Which the Judge had told BM to knock it off but of course rules and limits are something BM doesn't respond to either. Like mother, like daughter.
The court system can be a crap shoot. I wish there was a standard set of rules for all of them to go by, but there isn't :?
Hang in there, the waiting game can pluck your last given nerve!
Well, SS15 and SD13 meet with
Well, SS15 and SD13 meet with the GAL this week...I sure hope things go well and that the GAL can see that SD13 has been so obviously coached by her dilusional BM!