wow BM at it again! Need advice!!!!!
So SD8 during this whole custody case has been lying to her mom when she goes to see her on weekends and than lies to us about her mom when she gets back. She tells us things like her mom starves her, leaves her home alone, and beats her little brother. Well she told her mom that we starve her. (btw, she is far from starved of course) So BM calls CPS. She also calls the cops if DH is running 15 minuets late for a drop off or something....BM has been flagged this week with the police as a "re-currant caller"
Anyways, I don't feel comfortable staying home with SD8 all day (I also have kids at home) because of her lying mouth! I don't want accusations about me!!!
I am so angry right now and wish I had a place to stay with my children until this is all over.
Has anyone had to deal with a kid like this? I do not know how to handle the situation and I am scared to death to even have a conversation with the kid, even though there were no allegations against me, I feel like she could do that with all of the lies she tells.
What makes a kid do this?
I went through something
I went through something similar with SS and BM was using his lies as grounds for a court case. He did it because he got so much recognition and toys for doing it. He was praised over and over and he is a materialistic little snot so his lies were bought and paid for. I would just make sure you always have a witness.
I was accused of starving SS because I made him eat meat and not fill up on mac n cheese. I also would not allow him to eat my DD3s food. He was hungry and he wanted her dinner too. He would ask her if he could have it and of course being 3 she said yes all the time. He ate an adult meal at mcD's and then scarfed her entire happy meal and asked me for another adult meal. He was 9. My poor DD was starving all the time and we had no idea until we starting really paying attention to what was going on. I got nanny cams that SS did not know about to document that he was a liar.
I know this is something you
I know this is something you don't want to hear but they also do it because they know your DH and BM are not on speaking terms... You need to remind that child that you know what goes on as does BM. I know this is easier said then done if you don't actually talk to BM but the kid is using you not talking to make you guys feel bad. She gets sympathy and no one knows the better this kid needs a serious reality check and mostly just to know you as parents aren't idiots you know when they are indeed lying.
Time for a nanny-cam to
Time for a nanny-cam to protect yourself and your family. There may be no allegations against you right now, but that could change at any moment. If this kid is hell bent on attention, she'll keep upping the game until she is inexplicably proven a liar and no longer believed or she wins. You'll want the library of lies available when she moves the target to you.
Thanks so much guys, I
Thanks so much guys, I already feel better knowing I am not alone. I just also had a big good cry (still feeling a bit weepy but I am also pregnant)
I suggested to DH that she go to The Boys and Girls Club while he is at work but he is worried that she will feel more singled out while my kids got to stay home. She did get into a lot of trouble and he called BM and put all 3 of them on speaker phone. SD8 admitted to BM that she was lying to both of them.
HOWEVER, I am going to buy a cheap camera of some sort to record the time I am alone with her. Any suggestions on cheap ones and where to get one? Any price estimates? I don't even know where to look for such a thing that wouldn't break the bank. Aren't the "nanny cams" a bit cheaper?
I feel so unsettled and disrupted even though the CPS worker was trying to reassure me saying that unfortunately most of the calls they get are from disgruntled friends or X partners. She said that she had no concerns and that I should just relax but how can you once you had CPS in your home?
Is CPS now just a source for retaliation? Don't they realize this is a problem these days? What do you think they will do about this? She also told me this is why they have case overloads.
Anyway, thank you for your support and kind words. I feel like I have no one to talk to and it just bottles up inside.
I got mine on Amazon and I
I got mine on Amazon and I paid $31 per camera. I don't think we had shipping or handling expenses.
So far I have brought up
So far I have brought up having her go to The Boys and Girls Club during the day. DH says it is an awful idea unless all of the kids go so she doesn't feel isolated, I just think his heart is getting in the way of logic here. I also talked to DH's step father and he thinks my idea is great to protect myself and my children. So I think we are all (family and extended family) are going to have a sit down talk to put some logical sense into him. If that doesn't work we are buying the nanny cams next weekend. I do NOT feel comfortable with this child and I feel so stressed out being with her. I make sure her needs are met during the day but do not involve myself in any unnecessary conversation with her.
My stomach is sick, I am stressed out, I couldn't sleep last night, I'm having a hard time eating, I can't quit crying over it and I'M PREGNANT!