Why do I even care????
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Can't help but wonder If FDH is crying with SD15 and apologizing for giving her such a "crappy" life and meeting me while they are at therapy right now.
I encouraged him to go and he did! I want THEM to have a good relationship. I just can't help but think SD is talking all this crap about me while FDH is sitting there apologizing and wondering if the therapist is validating all her feelings............I'm sure I'll never know
:?
^^^^^this exactly. If the
^^^^^this exactly. If the counselor is any good that's not how it will go at all. If the counselor stinks it still doesn't mean that's the truth. Regardless, the child has issues that need to be addressed and hopefully the counselor with help with coping skills.
I have my own therapist and
I have my own therapist and FDH called and asked me to go to the session after next with SD15 so we can create some goals to achieve so she feels comfortable coming over..........................
Without asking me first fDH said yes!!!
How can I not but I really don't want to. She is a manipulator comes over when it's convieniant and leaves when she's not reaping some benefit and she's crying to the counselor it's all me.
When she goes out into the
When she goes out into the real world, assuming she does, I hope the world makes it comfortable for her.
I'd feel queasy about it, as
I'd feel queasy about it, as well. SD is likely not going to paint an accurate picture, and you may not be able to count on FDH to set things straight. Then there's the wild card of whether or not it's one of those therapists who caters to the entitlement of Children of Divorce.
I think this session with all 3 of your could be good, but ONLY after having had 1 or more private sessions with FDH, you, and the therapist first. If this is truly to be about goals for all of you, then you and FDH need to set them up ahead of time. I'd hate to see you "ambushed" at a session where SD is calling the shots.
You don't have to frame this in the context of protecting yourself. The "pre"-session(s) is/are about the two adults in the family productively and proactively working on a solution. That you two need to do this in order to have a mutually agreeable united front when the session includes SD.
Best wishes!
FDH just dropped a bomb on
FDH just dropped a bomb on me- BM was there and is going to every session including the ones they want me to go to. :jawdrop:
Now we have never had words but she coddles SD15 and gives her fuel to hate me and her dad even more. WTF. I'm so angry, I said I didn't know she was going to be there, he said he didn't either........and went on and on about how old she looks and he can't believe he was married to her. He said they didn't talk at all and she stated in therapy that she has no problem with me.......AND IF SHE DID??????
I'm freakin fuming right now.
Wow!!! Just WOW! Our DH's
Wow!!! Just WOW! Our DH's should hang out for constantly dropping bombs!
If youre feeling ambushed and
If youre feeling ambushed and not sure you want to go, I'd call the counselor and tell her you're willing to give her any info she wants over the phone but you're not up for going to a sessions with Sd, DH, and BM.
Holy SHIT! BM is going to be
Holy SHIT! BM is going to be there too? No fucking way! We went through something similar with SD14. Had her in therapy for a year, because she was having SUCH a hard time with their divorce and mine and DH's relationship. I encouraged it...
She had several sessions with BM & DH, then with just DH and her and some with BM and her (all on our dime, though). Finally, when DH and I got engaged and SD was super pissed about it, the therapist recommended a few group sessions with the 3 of us (NOT BM). SD adamantly refused, saying she wasn't comfortable with me being there. Hmmmm, wonder why????
Guess what? In the first 15 minutes of our group therapy session, several lies were discovered that SD was feeding the therapist about me!!!!!!!!! She'd been lying to the therapist about all sorts of shit for sympathy, attention and to make me look like the main problem. She even stated she'd been in the traumatic ATV accident that almost killed my daughter and myself! Which was the biggest and most hurtful lie.
Anyhow, my advice in this situation is you may want to go to be sure you're being portrayed correctly, no lies are being told about you, your relationship with DH or SD and everything is on the up and up. But with BM there? Absolutely not.