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what would you do??

epgr's picture

so what do you do if the shoe is on the other foot??
I have a 21 yr old girl, she is going to have a baby in March. Her dad married a woman 6 yrs older than my daughter.. she has ALWAYS been in a competition with my daughter for his attention... most of the time my daughter does not play into it..
We live in a very small town, and my daughters step mother told the people at one of the only beauty salons in town that my daughter had no idea who the father of the baby was and actually said it could be the bf of one of the preg womans who worked at the salon (does that make sense?) Anyways before you know it people are running their mouths and my daughter is crying her eyes out because she knows who the father is, it was just one of the things her step mother has done to make her miserable when things seem to be going good between her dad and her.
So my daughter lets her SM know that she has heard this and it is not cool, SM said she would fix it, so everything was good.. for a few days.(even though she denied saying anything, the person who let us know that SM said these things had nothing to lose and no reason to lie, and she has done this more than this time) Then the other night her dad wanted to take her and her brother to a concert, when SM found out my daughter was going she lost it told my daughters father not to take her anywhere or spend money on her because she was going around town trash talking her.. and her dad actually called her and told her to call and say she was sorry to SM for saying those things.. my daughter said NO, I didnt say anything.. and she didnt call and say she was sorry when she said those things about me.. she did end up going to the concert, behind her SM back...
I know she is 21, she is an adult.. any advice I can give to her.. as of right now she does not like her father because he will not defend her. he only defends his wife, she has slowly pushed my kids out of their dads life..
SM also likes to be the "victim" she says I torment her and she is scared.. which is crap.. hell most of the time I dont leave the house.. ok 10 yrs ago when my then husband was cheating on me with her I did flip out on her a little.. but that was short lived.. me and my ex get along great when he is allowed to talk to me.. he is a much better friend than husband!
she wants and needs advice, and I am not sure what to say to her..

epgr's picture

very good point about the bounderies.. I will tell her.
And yes I do think that it is her lack of age, or maybe being close in age with my daughter.. whatever the reason its totally uncalled for..
My life has so much crap and drams you wouldnt believe it!! getting ready to post an email from skids grandmother.. you will enjoy this one!

Angel72's picture

I think the close age is causing major competition.
But i think your daughter can still have a relationship with her dad without sm. i think both of them should have a talk and she should tellher dad that she doesn't want any problem with sm. She knows he loves her but things are just going back and forth with rumors, and its getting out of hand. She dosent' want problems and therefore will stay away from sm since they dontget along but honestly wants father in her life and for the grandchild she will give him.
I had problems with my sm too and my dad and i fell out of touch for over 7 years. When they found out i was pregnant, the new bonds began and i was very careful with my sm and she with i. There were certain subject i did not bring up and certain way of talking as well. your daugther will have to learn to not divulge certain info and to also ignore sm tactics as well and keep seeign her dad.