Its been a terrible night

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I cant sleep again, but not because I am not tired..
at 4pm I got the phone call every parent dreads.. its my bio 21 yr old daughter, screaming in the phone "we called the ambulance, there is blood everywhere I think he is dead oh my god mom help me help me mom".. that is all the information I had when I went to find my babygirl.. I freaked out, SS13, bio kids 9 and 8 were here,I had to leave,I have to say ss13 pulled thru, dont know how he did it.. (read other posts he is not right).. when I was on the phone crying and screaming to get my daughter to tell me where she was ss13 took the other kids in another room and turned the tv up loud, he took the phone called his dad at work to get him to come home...
Got to the scene of the accident, before the ambulance, my daughter is fine, her dad was driving her van and she was following him in his car when her dad came over a hill into a dip and right there was a motorcycle doing a uturn.. her dad hit him, he died on impact, my daughter seen it, so did her friend (whose brother died in a car accident not to long ago).. the ex is ok..I didnt know he was there, he was taken to the hospital and released..
I seen things I didnt want to see, and can not stop seeing that poor man, I cant get his family out of my mind... he was on vaca and was turning around cuz him and his friend on another motorcycle were lost, the sound of my duaghter will not leave my head..
Please pray for my daughter, her father, the man who lost his life and his family.. they are all going to need alot of strengh to deal with this.
I am glad ss13 pulled thru for me when I needed it most.. gotta give credit where credit is due.
tonight has been a huge reality check.. I am going to be looking at my life and situation carefully and choosing priorities with care because in an instant your life can be taken from you or change forever...

thank you.. the man on the

thank you.. the man on the motorcycle now has a name for us, just read it in the paper, he was from another state, the friend he was with said they were lost and turning around.. he is a Sr., which tells me he at least has a son, I will think of his family often, and the grandchildren who will never know him. What a horrible thing that has happened. I know my ex husband is suffering terribly, he was knocked up but when he woke up he tried so hard to find a pulse on this man, my daughter was trying to get her dad to just sit still.. he told her if he killed the man he couldnt live with himself.
It truely breaks my heart that my daughter seen her dad hit the man, and was alone in the road screaming for her dad, but to afraid to walk up to the car he was in because she was afraid she would see her dad dead or seriousl hurt. There is on person that is seeing her dad in a different way, she has been so angry with him for so long for leaving us, she has seen first hand how quickly he could have been out of her life forever.
I still can not close my eyes without seeing him, I can not imagine what it is like for my baby girl and her dad.

You never forget something

You never forget something like that.

In 1983 I was hit head on by a drunk driver. It was 4:00 in the afternoon, the guy was a deadbeat. He was speeding, weaving in and out of traffic, lost control and skidded right into me. I remember him looking at me the second before we collided. I'll never forget that. He was killed. I nearly was.

The accident was in no way my fault but I still feel bad, not guilt exactly but something...some responsibility for being there. Maybe if I'd been driving a little faster or if I'd been in the other lane? I know it's silly but I never got over the fact that the guy died. I can still see his face, the look of horror when he knew we were going to hit. I'll never forget that. He was only 24 and he didn't have insurance. I was 2 months pregnant and I went through years of one reconstructive surgery after another due to the accident - plus I had to pay for most of it out of pocket but still I feel bad. I remember waking up in the hospital and after it came back to me what had happened (it took a few hours to remember) I asked if he had died and when they told me he did I cried.