if it wasnt for your baby on the way i would tell you to RUN away - dont walk out.

Get counseling before the baby comes,poopy diapers a bratty ss, and a jealous BM will stress you more. Dont stress now especially if your high risk!good luck!

" If I wasnt pregnant....Id probably would have called it quits." There's your answer you don't need ours you already know in your gut what you want, and need. Now you have to find a way to do it, this will not get better after the baby is born.

I think Sueu2 has made some fair points, probably has just called a spade a spade and you in a depressed state may not want to hear it like that, but if you look at the facts as she has stated them, she is pretty much spot on.

I am wondering how this all happened. Surely you knew this SS before you moved in with your boyfriend, and surely you knew this SS BEFORE you got pregnant. Did you seriously think having a new baby with your boyfriend would straighten this out. Because it won't it will only add to the stress of having a SS you hate and a child of your own with special needs you have dug yourself a deeper hole here, so how to get out of it. Your idea to get counselling is a good one, and you should start asap even if you have to go alone, but you need to start NOW.

The other thing that concerns me is you thinking that SS has caused you all this heartache and drama in your relationship. Remember this, NO ONE, no one at all, not a parent, child, ex, best friend, no one can break up a good realtionship and come between two people. No child has the power on their own to destroy a relationship. Relationships are only broken when one or both of the parties involved want them to break. I am always gob smacked when people say, someone stole her husband, etc., we had a great marriage till she came along. Rubbish. People in a great marriage do not look for someone else, and if someone else was in their face stark naked a person who was in a 'good' marriage would turn and walk away. No one breaks up a relationship but the people in it.

Your boyfriend is the problem here. Clearly he is allowing his child to do/say things that hurt ane upset you. Your boyfriend needs to put his child in his place. He needs to look after his unborn child and he needs to look after you. Why is your boyfriend not doing this. Forget about the child, it is not the childs place to take care of you and your high risk pregnancy, it is your boyfriends place. He is the one failing you. How different would things be if he insisted his child show some manners, clean up his toys, be respectful to you while he is in your home, how different would your life be if your boyfriend said put your feet up relax, I'll take care of the kids, I'll cook dinner, I'll do the washing, housework etc., How different would it be if you could just relax at night with your boyfriend, cuddle and feel his love and concern for you and your unborn child. But that is not happening. Your SS does not understand about high risk pregnancies, your boyfriend does. Why is he putting the life of his unborn child at risk.

If your boyfriend is not ready for another child, you have a major problem on your hands and all three kids are going to suffer for this. You already have a stepson with anxiety issues and a daughter with special needs, and I get the sense that you are reasonable young. It may well be your boyfriend is feeling totally overwhelmed by all of this and has withdrawn as men often do. He certainly is not supporting you or you would not be leaving the house when his son comes around.

You say you will be staying at your sisters and minding her dogs, is this wise in your condition, and you say you have no friends for support, where is your sister in all of this. Can you move in with her till you get this counselling thing sorted out.

The fact that you say you resent your SS worries me a bit. Resentment builds hate, if you hate a 6 year old, what to you think you will be feeling when he is 16. As you know in Australia we do not have the underage drinking laws they have in the US this boy could be getting up to all sorts of things, at 18 he could be drinking and driving as the legal drinking age here as you know is 18. The drama all of these things bring are STRESS, real STRESS, the drama of a 6 year old is exhausting sure, but you should not be stressed to the point of depression by it. You need to sort this out. I do not believe at this stage that you living with this boy is good for him, good for you or good for your unborn child. This SS is not going to go away, if you keep fighting with your boyfriend over it, he might just go away and you will be left with one special needs child and a newborn. YOU have to decide what is in the best intrests of yourself and your two children. Staying with your boyfriend and his child is not an option. In doing what is best for you and your children, you do not have the right to make your SS life miserable or try and stop that child from having 50/50 custody arrangements with his parents. I get the feeling you won't be happy till that child is out of your boyfriend's life. That is not fair, and it is not right. Best you seek counselling immediately I think and get some professional advice.

Hi
You are clearly under an incredible amount of pressure - and your needs are not being met by your partner - that is difficult and understandable that you feel depressed and desperate. 'emotionally beat up' has certainly detected the 'real' issues here - I suspect she may have a whole wealth of experience - but you do seem very vulnerable - and you can't be expected to know all the answers at this point!! - clearly that is why you came here for support. I appreciate your feeling of resentment for your 6 year old SS - but it would be helpful if you could see that stems from your hurt and djsaplpointment at your needs not being taken into account by your SO - and in some way it's also just a natural sense of annoyance that most adults feel at the behaviour of other peoples kids!! Seems we are programmed to love our own children (well most of us! -BM's out there take note!) but most find other peoples kids trying!! So don't beat yourself up about that but stand back a bit and see that really this child is a victim of his PARENTS failure to 'parent' - his needs are not being met in that situation either!
Sometimes I've found it helpful to ask myself what I need and spell it out to my partner - if he is not going to listen and support you in your MOST vulnerable state then I would suggest you start seriously asking yourself how you are going to move on from here so that you stay well and are able to care for your children. When I was in a place like you are - I had to ask myself whether I thought I would be better of completely out of the situation or to stay and totally detach from everyone else's drama. So I see this as a time of gathering my strength and resources (save as much as you can) - focused on my life and my direction - don't want to be dependent on man who seems unable to support me - but he is my kids dad - and I don't think divorce an option for me - so I'm working on creating complete independence while in my marriage - that financial, emotional, mental independence - while remaining here - I know that may seem mad - but actually relationship with DH is okay - SD much older - moved out recently. So new chapter for me. I would say make a haven in your home that is your safe place - for me it's my bedroom and the room I sew in. Make it a place you can retreat to. Go there when SS doing your head in. Don't apologise for this - its got to be better than removing yourself completely - as those bad feelings will go with you wherever you go - and if you are high risk you need people around you - I also find it helpful to stay focused in the moment - but that is easier said than done! Hope you are feeling a bit better!! Big Hug x