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Toxic Co-Parenting- SOS Legal System

hollywood.co's picture

Hello all, this is my first post. I have been a step mother for 2.5 yrs. SD is 4.5 yrs. Primarily living with bio mom who refuses to follow court ordered parenting plan, legally signed and agreed upon by her. We have so so many documented violations, but we do not have the cash to proceed w/ a lawyer to court. We need to do mediation, but my fear is that my husband is falling victim to the bullying and minipulation from baby mama. I am at a loss. I shamefully sometimes have thoughts that man, life would be easier if I hadn't married into this situation.. but I love them and my life would not be the same without them. Bottom line is she is a bully. She manipulates SD weekly and I hear it coming from her mouth. We have such limited parenting time and we need to fight but that fear and anxiety live here... and I don't know what to do. It's affecting our marriage, as well as future family planning- how can we have a baby when the first babe isn't even getting the time with her daddy she deserves? I am just lost. IDK what to do... where to turn...what resources to even tap into, and how to help my husband see myside. Ya'll, it would take me days to share about the toxicity of babymama, but to start the 4/5 y/o told me her mom said my belly is so big b/c I am having a baby and that's why daddy married me. Bio mom told SD that I am the worst... bio mom told SD at age 3 that I should leave her dad so she and i could be friends...wtf! so welcome to it. Now we have continuour violations of the legal doc she signed & no sign of increasing parenting time as ordered per the plan unless we "see her in court": :( 

tog redux's picture

He can go to court without an attorney if he's the type who can argue his case fairly well - seems pretty straightforward that she's violating the order, though in my experience, Family Court does fall for the manipulations of toxic women (and men).

If you can skip mediation, I would - though I know some states require it.

Also, BM here seemed to want to be my friend too, which was really weird. She never targeted me, only went after DH, and seemed to want me to like her.  I just stayed far away from her.

hollywood.co's picture

RIGHT... like why do you want to be friends? lol. When she and I met for coffee before I married my husband, she was like "welcome to the club"... UMMMM? hah! It's okay, I would rather one of us have a "positive" relationship I guess. Per the agreement, we do have to go to Mediation but I also feel like if she refuses, it's on her and adds to our ammo.