Stepmom Manifesto
We've had enough.
We were Doormats. We were Posters. We were Trophies. We were fools. Fools to believe in their good intentions. Fools to believe that if we played by their rules, they would abide by theirs. And now they've crossed the line. They're taking away the last thing we hold dear, our love. Our love for our DH. Our love for our DD. Our love for our DS. Our love for ourselves. Our self-respect. Our lives. We're good women. We're good people. But they never let a good deed go unpunished.
They've given us ulcers. They've given us pains. They've given us resentful dreams and cold sweats. They've etched wrinkles on our faces. They've made us old beyond our years, they've given us the first class ticket to an early grave. We've had enough.
ENOUGH is ENOUGH.
We will NOT LET his skids ruin OUR Families.
We will expose these skids for what they are, cowards without shame. We will expose these spoilt, entitled little brats, forever begging MY SD for money, coming over without notice, infringing on OUR boundaries, we're tired of feeling sorry for them. It's their turn to be sorry. I'm the wife of my DH, not the parent of my skids. Let them rot.
We will plot our escape. We will paddle softly. We will tread lightly. We are no longer afraid to be women. We're no longer afraid to be ourselves.
They will hate us for what we are about to do. They will try to make us feel guilty. They will pretend to be the victims. We will take their poison and put it in a vial. Anger will be our ally, spite will be our armour. We will keep it close to our breasts. It will tide us across the darkest hours. We will learn to enjoy that bitter flavor.
We will smile. We will laugh. We will nod. We will hide our scorn beneath our masks. We will be anything to anyone. And we will plan. Our words will be our weapons. We will gather ammunition for the fight. We will plant the mines of distrust. Soon they will see things the way we do. Nothing will be the same.
We deserve better. We can do better.
Life is too short.
Merry Christmas!!
Just lost my entite last
Just lost my entite last post, ughhh.....anyhow, I agree with the above. 2012 is the year of Denise. No BS or SS is going to get in my way of what i need to do for myself this year, which is to lose about 40 lbs. That's the focus; that's teh lifestyle change that is gong to take place in my home. Skid will just need to stay out of my way and let my focus be on me, not him like it was last year. he has a dad, let his dad worry about his needs. i need my needs and my kids needs met beore i could consider worrying about anyone else....
I too am sick of this shit. I
I too am sick of this shit. I am tired of being blamed for the "distance I put between myself and the skids" by DH. If he wants a closer family then HE needs to do something about HIS kids.
Well the "distance" is about to get bigger because now it's all about me and my kids. My kids are older, but I'm working on my relationships with my kids, my family and friends. Let DH and kids stay as dysfunctional as they want to be.
I am focusing on me and my health. I am tired of puting everyone else first and forgetting about me. It's time to start lining up goals for myself and if DH is there at the end of the finish line, it'll be great if not...his choice. I've done all I can do.
Thanks for the post and Happy New Year
Amen to this!!! DH and I are
Amen to this!!! DH and I are separated and I'd give anything for us to be back together and make our marriage and family work. But over the past few days I've been thinking maybe I should just let go and completely wash my hands of the whole situation. He's always going to have guilt cause precious little SS13 mommy and daddy are divorced. I need to worry about me now. He's never going to change because he won't see that he's part of the problem too. I kinda feel sorry for the woman or women after me because they will build up the same resentments I have.
glad to be amongst friends.
glad to be amongst friends.
An old, but relevant post...I wonder what ever became of
the OP?
Anyone else out there feel like this?
Comments please.
Off hand, I'd say it comes
Off hand, I'd say it comes across as a little extreme, BUT since the OP did call it a Manifesto, it reads like what it is. I just wish she would have put more about her DH's culpability in there, Like HadEnough did, " I am tired of being blamed for the 'distance I put between myself and the skids' by DH. If he wants a closer family then HE needs to do something about HIS kids."
With these older ones, it's often sad to see that not much has changed over 7 or so years. But one thing I do think has come to the surface more is our DH's role in a lot of this--the recognition that DH and BM are bigger players in how SM gets along with her SKs than either the SKs or SM themselves, for the most part. Baby steps? I'd call it more like everyone else dragging their feet, trying to deny that divorce or seperation and the players themselves could be more to blame than SM. Hard to give up those scapegoats and face reality, unfortunately. If any positive change comes about for SMs in the future, it'll be because of SMs putting their foot down and saying, "Enough is enough!" And, that is one thing that does come across clear in the Manifesto.
Presto - Chango
Like what I tell Munchkin SD14. The dysfunction and toxicity and issues that caused the breakup of a couple that have children together doesnt just "poof" go away because they separated/divorced/brokeup/moved in with someone else and married them.
It stays around...the parents are the ones that caused these issues in the first place. the children are manifestations of their dysfunction. Ok, I dont tell her that part, I think it to myself.
Yes, I enjoy reading these (wish there was an organized archive that we can refer new folks to).
The history is out there, repeating itself on a daily basis. When I read posts from 5 years ago, its like reading a post from today. Changes come slowly I guess.