A step parent's perspective
The truth is I WANT to like you kids but I can't.
Sometimes I even start to like them a little but then they do something so inappropriate that
It gets even harder and harder to like them.
I've tried but they bother me so intensely that I want nothing to do with them.
That is why I ignore and avoid them as much as possible.
So I don't freak out on them and give them the spankings they deserve.
I especially don't like the want they treat you.
Many times you put them before me and you probably don't even know you are doing it or that it hurts my feelings.
I am not jealous, just frustrated and sometimes lonely. I deserve to be a priority too.
The truth is I am exhausted emotionally.
I have seriously thought about leaving this marriage because I can't deal with this anymore.
The truth is that I must love you a hell of a lot to put up with their sh!t.
But don't force me to have anything to do with your kids.
I feel nothing for them and I feel guilty about feeling this way, but it's not going to change.
I am in survival mode right now just praying for the day they move out!
The quicker they better.
At that point I hope there is enough of our marriage left to let me be with the person I fell in love with.
I am wasting my life waiting for you but I do it anyway because I love you and I have faith that someday things might be different.
And under NO circumstances will they move back in after they are adults or I WILL leave.
I think every Step parent
I think every Step parent should have their SO read this to open the lines of communication.
The similarities and differences between my feelings and theirs.
I'd venture to guess a lot of SP's feel this way even once in a while.
WOW! I am going to print this
WOW! I am going to print this off and show my SO, it's basically everything I have been trying to tell him in counseling but haven't been able to find the words. Thank you!
My very thoughts, and I blame
My very thoughts, and I blame alot on the parents for letting their children act the way they do and show such disrespect. So not only do I have hard feelings for the steps but for the bio parents too and that incluydes my own husband who has allowed his sons to walk all over me and expects me to take it.
This really hit home with me today especially. Husband had to go be with his family due to a situation with his side of the family, I did not go because I pretty much know I am not a wanted part of the family. I wasn't the SM that let everyon e kick her around and the family, I guess, thought I should take the scrape on the back well.
Knowing he was with his family who would cheer to find out I was dead, I became so angry. Realize I am by myself with the exception of teen bio daughter on the computer. I just kept thinking over and over how much I hated my stepsons. I raised these two from ages 5 & 7 and I went thru pure H***.
I just kept trying, kept forgiving, had many last straws.....many, but I don't think I ever said to myself that I hated them until today.....that's 21 years after the fact.
If I never see these kids agian in my life I will be happy. I will not have anything to do with my husband's family. In one sense it is a tragedy as I was not this type of person before but I guess I finally got a back-bone as I am done with having a sorry excuse of a human being walk on me like I am dog crap under their feet.
Done, done, done!
This is exactly the way I
This is exactly the way I feel most every day about my step kids. I am so upset at having to raise these "great kids" (according to DH) and they are so rude and disrespectful to me. Constantly arguing and whining about everything I ask or say... I work so hard to bite my tongue and not be mean or condescending back to them because DH tells me I am too strict, even though he barely ever disciplines at all.
It pains me because DH really wants to have more kids with me, but I don't think I want a bio-child of mine to have to grow up around these kids and see the way they treat me. They expect me to be their maid, ordering me around and talking to me as if I was THEIR child. Ahem, no thank you!
Its comforting at least to see that others are in the same boat and I am not the only one that gets put on the back burner for being the second wife.