step daughter is a sick in the mind
Forums:
my step daughter just came home. the first thing she does is not even say high to me. just snooted away. this has been going on since last year. she i only 6 and is already talking to boys. i dont no what to do everyday she comes in and goes out to play with her freinds.
soory for my spelling im all
soory for my spelling im all over excited when i talk about these things. to let you in about my situation. she never says hi to me, never talks to me, always is passive agressive and i am always getting in fights with her latly. im getting tierd of it. i have no clue how to be a step mom and teach this kid a lesson.
I used to say, OH let me at
I used to say, OH let me at her, but got knocked on my ass for trying so i don't fight the fight. You may get a drip in here and there throughout the years of teaching her some good things, but in the long run you unfortuntely wont be able to help her. sorry, but the good news is look at all the energy you will save by not trying and just getting disappointment every time anyway. My SD comes every single time and gives one quick Hi, not looking at me, just doing it on command and i truly don't care anymore. I am glad she goes out and plays with friends finally. It is a blessing.
your so right i should not
your so right i should not spend all my time trying bust her on things that my husband wont agree about im tierd of it. thats real advice right there. so im gess you have a step daughter too older probally. your the luck y one.
No, she is 9. She's been
No, she is 9. She's been with me since she was 3. The last six years have been very bad. I have beat myself up a lot. My dh is my best friend and I love him so much that's why i am sticking it out. We both think she will go to stay with her mom full time when she is a little older so i do have that to look forward to. I don't say that meanly, the little girl needs her mom but DH is selfish. He was the mother when he was with his ex and has a real bond with them, but he doesn't understand the mother daughter bond.
wow almost something like my
wow almost something like my ordeal. do you have any reall kids.
Yes, sounds about the same.
Yes, sounds about the same. I have 2 boys, 14 and 18. I also has ss11 who is heaven sent. I just love him, he greats me with a huge hug everytime he comes on friday. it is 50/50 custody. BM, however, is the reason sd has caused us so much grief. BM calls me bitch and puts me down to sd, that she is afraid to love me, cuz mom truly gives her attitude and acts jealous if she tells her nice stuff bout me. She has to stay loyal to her mom and i understand that, but the nasty ass BM needs to take care of her little girl full time then if she won't allow her to have another mother. Girls need their moms, not just every other week, all the time and this BM is so selfish, bar scank, that she wont take her full time. Its sad for sd but even more sad for me and our family because it is literally War sometimes and only when she is here.
You are so lucky to have found this site when she is only 6, cuz you probably saved yourself so much sadness by all that you will learn here from people who live it. If you don't live it, you don't get it. I hope to talk to you more.
No, she is 9. She's been
No, she is 9. She's been with me since she was 3. The last six years have been very bad. I have beat myself up a lot. My dh is my best friend and I love him so much that's why i am sticking it out. We both think she will go to stay with her mom full time when she is a little older so i do have that to look forward to. I don't say that meanly, the little girl needs her mom but DH is selfish. He was the mother when he was with his ex and has a real bond with them, but he doesn't understand the mother daughter bond.
Am I reading this right she
Am I reading this right she is 6!!!? I say she has no say what so ever you are an adult and treat her like a kid!! geez tell her she is not allowed top play or whatever till she does what you expect her to do first. No fighting with a child ever!!!
She is 6 years old. With your
She is 6 years old. With your DH/BF support, in your house you have the right to enact rules. Make her use her manners. What's the worst that can happen? She cries to BM that you made her use manners? Egads! Say it ain't so!
Why would someone even say
Why would someone even say she is sink in the mind away she is 6 for crying out loud! I am not understanding this post at all? At 6 I doubt she is not saying hi to you on purpose but if she is being rude and not obeying then you need to make her and not fight with her. Just tell this is what the rules are and if you brake them this is what will happen.
I guess I'm not getting it b/c it all sounds like you are treating her like she is 16 not 6.
o really and how would you
o really and how would you no. let me gess mother real mother. yea let me tell you something when you have step child then i want to be your best freind cause then maybe you will understand that being a step mother is being someone totally different. ok wait lol lmao your cracking me up you think i should treat her nice cause its the nice thing to do right. lol omg i think i peed my self.
mommamoney I am a step mom
mommamoney I am a step mom and have been for the last 7 1/2 years. And I tell you with out a doubt that at 6 the kid will behave they way they are ALLOWED to be behave. I never said to treat her nice but yeah try it! At 6 she will respond with niceness! It may not happen right away but I can assure you that with in a week or so she will be doing better. She needs to know what is expected out of her she can't do what you expect if she doesn't know.
I think you answered your own
I think you answered your own question, she is 6 and if like my sd, acts like she is 16. In my experience, and it sounds very similar to mine, she is being passive aggressive and THAT is the worse form of mental abuse, while not knowing it and not purposely doing it cuz she is 6, it still hurts the sm. She probably is doing it cuz she is threatened by sm, as mine is. Trying to enforce rules, will NOT work cuz "you aren't my mom", she cries, now dh feels sorry for her, and guess what, nothing learned, nothing stopped, just sm with her foot in her mouth feeling hurt cuz dad and sd thinks sm is so mean for trying to make her follow the rules. I will say, my sd listens to me more than bm and her dad cuz she sees how i am with my 2 boys, and all i have to do is give her the look.
well maybe you should give
well maybe you should give your two boys so much attention that she will be jelous. maybe you shoudl spend money and give one your boys a drum set and drum lesson that way you can make ten times jelouse.
What do you want her to do?
What do you want her to do? If she has no idea how you want her to behave what does she have to work with?
She is 6. She is allowed to behave this way by whom? Her father? Why aren't you complaining to him? "I feel insulted and taken for granted when *name* comes in from school and ignores me and goes straight out again without talking to me. I have no idea where she is or even if she is allowed to go there. Also are you aware she is always talking about boys?"
A 6 yr old behaves the way she is allowed to behave. Boundaries need to be set so she knows when she is crossing them. Is the gripe with her or her father for not making her do the right thing?
And yes. I am a BM and SM. My DH did not let his sons disrespect me once. He makes some stupid decisions butwhen i am left in charge he knows I make the decisions and he lives with it.
So direct your anger at your DH and work out what is and isn't acceptable. Or maybe you are feeling sick of being used as a babysitter with no authority? So send her to after-school care and her father can pick her up. No one says you HAVE to watch her after school.
does anyone remember EBSM08?
does anyone remember EBSM08? This poster reminds me of EBSM08 in the style of writing as well as spelling.
The kid is 6. I'm sorry but I honestly believe that you may need to seek some real professional counseling - possibly both for yourself and for your SD. At 6, as Raspberry noted, a child isn't sexual toward boys, unless she is being exposed to stuff she shouldn't be.
And as far as being withdrawn... there are many reasons that could be happening.
Please get therapy for yourself and your SD.