Some advice, please!
Forums:
Our BM has the kids fulltime, we have them EOW. When they are here, they want to stay. They don't like BM's new boyfriend or his kids. We try to tell BM this and she blames US for putting stuff in the kids' heads. What do we do?
Document everything you can
Document everything you can about BM. Save and print off all of her emails and texts. Call your attorney and see if you can record phone calls with her. If the kids come over looking filthy, take pictures of them. If she lives in a filthy environment and is not taking adequate care of the kids, call CPS. They might not do anything about it the first time, but the judge won't like it if he/she sees that CPS has been called on multiple occasions to investigate BM.
Keep in touch with the kids' teachers (have DH do this). Get it put in the court order that you must get access to school records and report cards. The school can send you these. It's a lot easier to deal with a school receptionist than it is with a difficult bio-parent.
Take them to a therapist.
Take them to a therapist. He/She will confirm its a real what they're feeling. BM won't be able to argue that. Invite her along so the therapist can talk to her right there.
And like Anon says, document document document.
And have DH call her out on things. It doesn't matter she denies it...she'll automatically be put on guard if told often enough.
I have been doing that.
I have been doing that. It's so sad because when BM comes to pick them up, you can tell they don't want to go. And if her boyfriend is with her, it's worse!
We have talked with the kids on many different occasions, they havent told us of any abuse, they just don't like him. Them not giving us a reason is what's troubling!