Hi

I posted previously that SD17 & sd13 recently left DH and I to go and live with BM (after 8 years of living with us) SD17 heavily influenced by BM who hates me and so situation got bad and DH did say to her apologise or go and she went. So she hates both of us now and no contact since that day a month ago. DH has been texting and calling SD13 - me and SD13 always had a good bond, I cared for her from 5 years to 13 years and rarely did we have any real bother - but I did have to let go of 'parenting' my way as she got older as DH not backing me up and BM making the most of the slightest conflict between us. SD13 has not contacted us since she left and when DH calls or texts her its all 'one word answeers' and she goes silent after, making no conversation back, and just seeming bored and basically quite rude. I felt so bad for DH last night, as he was asking if she wanted to come for a visit and she just kept saying 'I'll see' - in the end he said he would just come and get her at 1pm on Saturday. She didn't appear to pleased - I know her BM is getting to her - she is now living with her BM and sister who both hate us so I know she is in a difficult position - BUT she is still old enough to realise that DH and me cared for her for years while her BM followed her new man around like a groupie - leaving her kids to the adults to raise. She should have loyalty to her dad - and to some extent yes, me as I cared for her as well as I could and I am not a hard woman by any stretch of the imagination - I did try - probably too hard.

So my question is - how do I deal with her on Sat - I've already told DH I am 'out' of having ANY responsibility for girls - totally disengaged.
But I will be here and I know she will be 'wierd' and distant with me - which will hurt and piss me off - I know also that DH will be trying way too hard and that will annoy me too.

Not looking forward to it - advice welcomed!