I'd say that you need to move on over the photo album as it's your MIL & not your DH who has kept it. Your DH may think about asking her to put it away out of respect for your relationship but if he's not willing to do that then the only option for you is to just ignore it. My FMIL is the same way...she's still got pics up of BM Nasty but is in the process of replacing them. She's had them up for AGES & I avoid looking at certain walls when I am over to visit.

With regard to the whole "but it's not the same because we have a kid together" BS, my SO quit saying that because I started responding with "so the rules are different for you because I wasn't idiot enough to procreate with a stupid a$$ like you did??"...a$$ was more often than not replaced with another word that starts with a C. That statement did NOT go over well & I promised not to say it anymore if he quit pretending that XSO rules differ in any way shape or form.

Sorry you're going through this though...it sucks, I know! Good luck

I found the same album at my MIL's house. And not all the pix were when they had a kid. I was like WTF, and thankfully before I said anything, DH freaked out. His mom had handed us the album to bring to our home with some other albums to scan and keep. Thank god we started to flip through before it came into our home. He freaked, asked her why she even had them & told her how rude it was to hand them to me and to get rid of them. She was like, "I'm keeping them for [SS]." DH told her not to, that it would only cause more pain and confusion for SS. (For the record BM cheated & left DH. We met 2 years later.) MIL said she got rid of them. She hasn't. I've seen the album on the bookshelf still at her house. I try to ignore it. Except who knows what she's telling SS. Ridiculous in my opinion.

As for the different rules for exes. Um, no. My DH has tried that, and I've told him numerous tmes, were the roles reversed he's freak out. He doesn't get it. The next time he pushes the limit about it, I'm just going to start telling him a story about my ex. He'll flip, and it'll prove my point. There should be no difference.

I agree with Sourgirl. I can completely understand how you feel, but at least those pictures aren't on public display on their walls. I don't think there's much you can do about the photo albums. How did you find the album?

Silly girl....if no one was looking, you should have tucked it away, then thrown it out later. Or brought it home and given it some thought.

My MIL did the same thing. I don't know who put the album together, but she brought it down with other photo albums and asked if I'd like to have them. One album was of he and his 1st wife.

I still have it. I went through the photos, checked the wife out and then read his year books including what people had to say about his wife (they weren't married then). SHe really sounded sweet and a smart girl. I still have that to this day. I really hope to meet her. But, you know...careful what you wish for, so I don't wish to hard. But if it happens...well, it could be interesting.

Now....when I got the book with the hideous 2nd wife...that had run off the 1st wife....let me tell you, oh ho ho ho, did I have some fun with that.

I found a postcard with some really funny looking animals from my area. Guess whose face I cut out from the photographs, placed over the heads of the animals, (she looked best on the vulture) had them laminated on that side...then mailed them to my closest buddies that'd never bust me.

Do I always have to be the one that tells you how to have fun with something you hate??

I had a similar experience this past Christmas. My DH and the XW have been divorced for 6 years. We had been dating 5 and were engaged at the time we went to spend Christmas with the skids and his mother. While we are there she never once asked me any questions about the wedding and as we were leaving gave DH several Christmas gifts to deliver to the XW from her. Right in front of me. Luckily DH realized this was not appropriate behavior and said something but not before defending his mother by saying she is trying to be civil with the mother of her grandchildren. Civil is one thing, but being passive aggressive and handing him gifts for her right in front of me is another.

Early in my relationship with my husband I probably would have flipped out, but now I don't know that it would bother me. I feel badly for SD that she will never see pictures of BM and her dad together. Almost like it never really happened. BM took all their pictures when they got divorced and the 4th husband destroyed them all during a fight a few years back. I have found a few over the years and bitterly destroyed them. I feel a little guilty because I could have been bigger and given them to SD, I would love to have pictures of my parents if I were in her shoes. My husband is glad that they were destroyed, but he also wishes to erase that time. Selfishly I was glad that MIL hated BM and right after the divorse tore up all the pictures she had as well, but SIL still has some and it doesn't really matter.

On the flip side, my mom has kept pictures of me and the man that I almost married. She does not love my husband any less and does not put the pictures on display, but he was a part of my family for almost 10 years. She doesn't want to erase that. I have asked her to get rid of them, but she chooses not to. She does respect that I do not want to see them, nor does my husband.

Are you close to her where you could ask her about it, let her know that it bothers you? She might be willing to put it away so that it doesn't bother you. She might not realize that it hurts your feelings.