Needs advice before I go insane!!
Ok here's the deal me and my bf moved in together in feb of this year. We have been together since July of last year. I have 2 sons that live with us their dad is out of picture no contact. My bf had a daughter that lives with us her BM is supposed to get her every weekend but fails to do so when something better comes along. We plan to marry now I say this with a shadow of doubt lately but supposed to in feb/mar of 2013. By which I will add him to my health coverage at my employer here's the kicker I am supposed to add his daughter cause the BM refuses to get her coverage cause she don't want to pay for it. Well my feeling is why should I?? BM has been nothing but a pain in the a$$ and causes shit all the time. She also likes to contact him for no reason I threw a fit because my ex called once last year about the kids and he was upset saying I hope he don't think he is gonna call all the time...wtf.. My bf child had insurance thru the state until the mother let it expire because she didn't want them to find out she was working and getting free benefits so I feel it's not my problem but then I know my bf would get stuck paying for everything which means I will to so I'm kinda stuck...I love my bf and the only disagreements we have are due to his Ex's lack of doing her part I mean with my boys I do mine and their dads part do I'm not asking for anything for my kids. Idk what to do and I told him I don't think we should have to pay for everything and he agrees but does nothing...
No she won't pay and he won't
No she won't pay and he won't take it to court so her insurance would come out of my paycheck. Their divorce papers state she's supposed to live alternating weeks with each parent but she's with us ft and pays nothing for anything. He won't go to court cause he'd have to pay for that so idk... Lol
He's not being very smart
He's not being very smart about the situation. If she stays with him FT, he NEEDS to go back to court and get everything legal. The BM could go back to 50/50 at any time and could even file for FULL custody.
The child is OWED by your BF for him to take BM back to court and get full custody AND child support. If he is independently wealthy and doesn't need BM's money to raise his child, then he should put it in a fund for the child's college and/or future needs. It is the CHILD's money. HE shouldn't be slacking off on getting the money owed from BM.
you and your bf need to have
you and your bf need to have a serious discussion about finances before you marry. somehow, you are going to have to make him realize that his dd is NOT your child and you are not financially responsible for them in any way, shape or form. you don't ask him to help support your kids. don't get sucked into this. if his dd ends up being uninsured, not your problem. but, i would have a hard time marrying a man whose child is uninsured, and is unwilling to insure her, expecting you to do it. and i would NEVER marry a man who allows his ex to call all the time. and by the way, if he does go to court, if you have his dd full-time, he should be awarded child support. hold this bi---'s feet to the fire. HER kid, she can help support her. your bf needs to ball-up, be responsible and hold bm accountable with appropriate boundaries
^^^EXACTLY THIS^^^
^^^EXACTLY THIS^^^
I would insure SD because it
I would insure SD because it really is best for HER. Who cares about BM.
As you realize, insurance is
As you realize, insurance is best for both of YOU because it protects your bank account. You do not need an attorney to go to court, especially if it's as cut and dried as you say. He just needs to file the correct papers and go from there. And I would not marry until he does this. Nobody wants a "man" who can't stand up to his ex. Ew.
You have every right to take
You have every right to take her back to court! And you don't need to pay an attorney, most states have all the paperwork in "packets" that you can print from your home computer. If the CO states she is to be there 50/50 and she is there FULL TIME, that is essentially contempt. If the CO were written as it is being executed right now, BM would be responsible to provide for medical, basic support by guidelines put forth by the state. And, honestly, if she is as uninvolved as you say, she probably wouldn't show up to court and you would win by default.
How much extra will it take
How much extra will it take to insure the skid? If it is not A LOT,,,,then just do it. If it is A LOT, then tell your BF that he needs to get BM to get the skid on insurance, or he needs to get insurance on the kid himself.
This is a need for the kid, not some frivolous item. But like I said…if you don’t want to do it, then your DH needs to step up and do it himself.
I see all your points and
I see all your points and being the type of person I am I have that little voice that says yes insure her it's not her fault but then when stuff comes up like she broke a tooth Tuesday grant it it has been bad since I've been around and the mother was supposed to get her to the dentist well never happened... Know that she knows its broke still hadn't taken her after it was agreed since she didn't renew the insurance she had to pay the bills. Well this is how ignorant she is she asked why I couldn't make some kind of pain medicine to put on it since I'm a pharmacy tech.....wtf sense does that make???? It's stuff like that that makes me think no I'm not gonna do your job more less pay for something when it's not my responsibility after all that's less money I have for my kids...
It's stuff like that that
It's stuff like that that makes me think no I'm not gonna do your job more less pay for something when it's not my responsibility after all that's less money I have for my kids...
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Then make DH step up and do it. It is his kid too after all.