And I am torn in many directions. I don't want to stop my child from contacting his dad, but I truly have the best intentions. I'm afraid he will get hurt. I've been divorced for 8 years now and I am a BMof3 and a SMof2, so I am able to walk in both shoes. I count myself fortunate to not have a crazy BM with my DH, but I do have horrible issues with my ex. He has pretty much abandoned our kids. It has been months since he last made contact with his kids. He didn't call his son on his birthday, and he didn't call on father's day. It also coincided with the child support just mysteriously disappearing. I have not seen a check since May. He just got married to a new girl (this will be his 3rd wife) and they are expecting a baby in November. I am baffled why this man has decided to just abandon the first three and then make another one, but that is not for me to worry about. My two older children have pretty much seen the light and are done with their dad's cruel games, but my 9-year-old is still holding out hope. He asked me yesterday if he could call his dad and I said no, because when I have tried to contact him about 3 times now in the last 2 months, (I would hardly call that harrassment)he refuses to answer the phone. One time his wife answered and got immediately nasty with me. She said he was at work. I tried to ask her where he worked (because he quit paying child support), she just told me "you'll have to speak with him about that" and she hung up on me.

It has only been very recently since I stopped allowing him to speak with his dad. I also only recently started quietly listening on the other line, just because I am so mystified as to why he has dropped out of his kids' lives and I want to shelter my son from his lies. I just frankly do not think a lying abandoner has any endearing qualities to pass on to his son. He's a bad influence - and do you know where he picked up this behavior? His DAD.

The last time my son spoke to him, the ex called and said his usual "let me talk to my son." I never say anything, just hand the phone off to my son and walk away, but this time I decided to listen. My son had so many things to tell his dad. He excitedly talked about school and his life, et cetera, and all I heard from this ass is "ya, uh huh."
The phone call lasts 3 minutes. He is a flake, but he's the father of my kids. I never wanted to be accused of stopping them from seeing their dad, but this is just a mess.

After reading some posts this morning, I started thinking about it and decided to allow him to call his dad. He hasn't done so yet, but I plan to listen on the other end (I would never interject myself into the conversation). I just think I need to be the watchful eyes and ears, ready for anything, because this crazy behavior is certainly nothing I want my son to pick up.

Any Advice?