this is getting very annoying and i need some ideas. SD12 is constantly texting BM complaining about us in really rude ways. Every time she needs to do something she doesn’t want to do, every time we say no to something , send her to her room, set rules...etc...she runs to get room and texts BM for 20 minutes.
we can see only parts of the conversations because SD deletes de worst ones...unless we get her as she is sending them (which is every 2 seconds :))and then we can see the "tone" of these texts. it is bad...she calls us names and bitches about everything. What is worst is that the maturity level of BM is also 12 years old and she uses this in the worst ways, and to in the best interests of the child.
it really gets on our nerves.
SD lives with us 100%. SD sees BM only 4 hours a week. BM is a a mayor disaster, no job, boyfriends come and go, unstable, DUI's, drugs on and off...jail time, abandoned SD12 10 years ago and continued to abandon her on and off by no showing up, no doing what she said she would ,etc.
the point is SD lives with us, we do everything for her, she is using our phone in our plan to bitch about us...it gets on ones nerves!
BM -of course-agrees with SD in the texts and fuels the fire...together they work on plans to go around the rules of our house or for BM to "help" her doing things that we said no to...just lovely.
this whole thing is not good emotionally for SD. It creates drama, secrets and lies. I don’t know what to do.
I think that no amount to explaining to SD will do because basically she found a way to connect with BM, and it is about hating us...sad sad thing.
Advice please