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My Dad Died last night.

Booboobear's picture

My Dad died last night, and going back over my old posts entitled "My Dad", there sure were alot of a$$hole responses, Im supprised me and this website are still friends.  There were some nice responses as well, and I appreicate them as well. I have been a stepmother for decades and so hatred instead of support, kicking when someone is down is really rude. 

75 years old, he was going to fly back to alaska, get his car and drive the alcan highway all by himself, so i got a ticket real quick, flew to anchorage, and drove back with him to the lower48. we had four days together and I pooped on the side of the road many times, because he insisted there would be a better gas station up the road, which there wasnt, it was always a few hundred miles more up the road, but I am so glad we got that time together. I knew it could be the last time I would see him because of the gradual alienation of him.

Remember his wife, the one who always hung up on me when I called him? well she called me last night and said he was flew by helicopter to the hospital and she was crying and driving, there is a language barrier because she speaks spanish and I speak english so I cant always tell what she is saying. She said he fell off the roof and is unresponsive and bleeding from the head.  What was a 75 year old  man doing on the roof after dark? She said he was installing solor panels.

If you decide to be an a$$hole instead of comfort me, remember that my husband and I are real estate agents, own multiple properties, with 19 working toilets (my dad always said a measure of your sucess is how many toilets you have lol he had 10) I live on the lake, have four businesses and my husband also does shift work in the factory, so I have my own money and money is not my directive for loving/ misisng my dad. 

I am always have been very loving, kind to his wife, and I still will be supportive to her during this, while also giving her space to figure stuff out. 

I would like to use my time on this site for troubleshooting, learning from experience, helping kind stepmothers, drawing strength, getting support from others who have been there, sharing my experiences as a stepmother, establish friendships who support me as a person, wife, mother, stepmother, stepdaughter, daughter, aunt, grandmother.  

 

TwoOfUs's picture

I'm sorry. 

I lost my dad unexpectedly, too, at 49...and it does totally suck. I'm glad you got those 4 days with him. 

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Booboobear, I am so very sorry for your loss. What a blessing those 4 days together were. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

ESMOD's picture

I'm sorry for your loss.  I am glad you will have those memories of that trip to cherish.  I'm sure a guy that wanted to go on a trip like that.. probably thought he could still get up on a roof.. But those memories should be very dear to you. 

CLove's picture

I think you must have deleted the posts where you were blasted!

Im so sorry for your loss. Our time with our parents is priceless.

Take care of yourself in your grief.

sammigirl's picture

So sorry for your loss.  I just lost my Dad this past September, exactly 90 days ago.  It leaves such a heavy heart. 

I am glad you had special time with him.  

God Bless the entire loved ones. 

 

Booboobear's picture

I am so sorry, sammigirl, I was hoping the blender heart  or chainsaw heart feeling in my chest would go away at some point.our dads will be with loved ones in heaven

Siemprematahari's picture

Condolences on your loss and sending you love & light. Glad that you had 4 memorable days with him, cherish them always.

Booboobear's picture

thank you, Siemprematahari  I will always be glad I took that trip to help him drive.  I have video of him singing in the car

Booboobear's picture

Thank you, Dawn, my dad had 3 daughters that he raised in Alaska. we did all the hunting fishing clam digging camping, exploring that he would have done if he had had boys.  We always had a boat and we were always getting stuck, breaking down, getting weathered in.  I remember one time, a huge halibut hook went through the middle of his hand, it was bleeding and he drove one handed the boat until we got to shore to drive to hospital.  I was a little girl and couldnt believe he wasnt crying

Booboobear's picture

Im so sorry, Tog redux, I hope your heart heals and you have many good memories of your dad, thank you for your message, I am overwhelmed with the kindness you all are showing me today

bertieb's picture

I'm sorry you lost your dad unexpectedly like that. My dad diedin 2002. His birthday is the 13th. It doesn't seem like that long ago!. Hope your precious memories help you through this time.

 

Booboobear's picture

Thank you, bertieb, happy birthday to your dad, I cant believe time travels so quickly that it doesnt seem like that long ago. My dads birthday was the day after we emerged from Canada and Alaska. we had two cakes for him and a BBQ, he got to meet his great grandkids, my sgrands. 

TogetherForever89's picture

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this right now! The world is full of mean people. Let's be kind to eachother where we can. -hugs-

amyburemt's picture

sorry for your loss. I am facing the impending death of my own father due to kidney failure and I will always be his little girl. I wish in general that society was more supportive of other peoples hardships and grief instead of kicking people when they are down. Be good to yourself during this time of sadness.

Booboobear's picture

I know and sorry for being a B on my post but sheesh, thats why I come here is to get some help, not some teeth kicking. Prayers and love for amyburemt's Father

StepUltimate's picture

Thank you for posting about this. Very glad you got those days with your dad. Very sorry to hear he was fatally injured.

Nothing but love & condolances,

Booboobear's picture

he was a good dad.  he had foot in mouth syndrom, but a good dad, thank you for your well wishes

Booboobear's picture

Thank you so much for your support guys, this is so much more love than I could imagine. My big sister made sure to let his wife know that she was loved and that we will let her decide everything, because she is his wife.  

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

so over 30 years ago. I remember the grief like it was yesterday . I just got in the shower and let the water run over me and bawled. I am so sorry. Think of ways to honor him.

Booboobear's picture

Thank you NoWireCOatHangers, 12 years old is way too young to have to process losing your dad. no fair.

Thumper's picture

I am sorry to read that your Father died.  My sincere condolences to you and your entire family.

Booboobear's picture

Such kind words, Goodluck, my sister and I have been in a fog. shes back in Alaska, her DH died last week, 51 years old. she lost her DH and our father in the same month. I leave on friday for Alaska for my BIL memorial on Saturday.  

CANYOUHELP's picture

So sorry about the passing of your father. Sounds like the trip was a great one for you both too. It has been twelve years and I still miss my father, just like it was a year ago. It is great to have suppor on this site for many reasons.