Mil is moving with BM and skids about a block away from us
My mil has been causing problems for a while. She was not like this before, but at some point she started acting weird and became best buddies with my partner's ex-wife.
Two years ago she tried to make me feel ashamed for getting pregnant with our youngest, she's glorified my SO's failed first marriage in front of me, and her lastest scheme is that she's moving about a block away from us... With my partner's ex-wife in tow.
(Edit to add: I forgot to mention above that last summer she went crazy on me on the phone, screaming and yelling about everything that is "wrong with me" and how I'm a horrible person. I haven't had another conversation with her since. I knew I had missed something big...)
I am not happy about this. Everyone says move away and we're planning to but things don't just work out like that. Some friends said that mil is up to no good and that she won't stop until it ends either way.
I'm upset and kinda scared that she is doing this because she's out to get us and our relationship.
2 things. First, your SO
2 things. First, your SO needs to rein in his mother. What does he say/do when she tried to shame you and when she screamed at you. Second, disengage completely from MIL. Don't see or talk to her. Then it won't matter where she lives as she will be like a stranger to you.
He called her out after her
He called her out after her disrespectful call to me and respected my decision to go No contact.
She feels like she is completely in the right with where she picked to live. She sounded so smug on the phone to SO (could hear voice thru receiver as I walked out of the room). Smug and happy about finding this apartment etc... I swear you could detect the smirk in her voice... I don't know how else to explain it.
You're right though. Also I don't go through that part of the neighborhood anyway.
Second. That DH should be doing something about his mother
Also disengage completely from MIL. Have nothing to do with her. She should never set foot in your home. No holidays with her. MIL is causing this problem, you will not deal with her.
I'm not speaking to her at
I'm not speaking to her at all. Today I blocked her number on my phone but I haven't exchanged words with her since July. No text either.
Ugh. My MIL is pretty
Ugh. My MIL is pretty terrible, but she has not yet moved in with BM.
Right now, she sticks to undermining DH's agreements with BM and then telling DH that she just "has to" because he doesn't love his kids enough and she does. You'd think that she'd care more about her own child (DH), but she does not.
My counselor - who I started seeing because BIL tried to work against DH at the latest mediation, because he thought he could "fix the issues" that DH and BM have (the real issue is that BM has "borderline tendencies" and hasn't moved on from the divorce she demanded, even though she is remarried) - has repeatedly told me, "it seems like your husband's family lives in an alternate reality when it comes to his ex wife." She has also said to me that based on what I've told her about MIL, she is not surprised that DH ended up married to BM in the first place.
I should add that I'm really struggling with MIL, because she is again ruining Christmas with all of her meddling. So, I feel your pain and know that it's not as easy as it seems to just cut MILs off.
Yeah mil was the one who told
Yeah mil was the one who told him that he was a grown man and could marry if he wanted to. Encouraged it even. His dad was not happy about it and tried to speak to his son rationally. He still married her.
I didn't know anyone at that time this was years ago... But I was filled in over time on how things happened.
What is your husband doing
What is your husband doing about this?
He tried telling his mom not
He tried telling his mom not to do this. He tried showing how angry it made him. Even threatening not to speak to her. She just really doesn't care. She will do whatever she wants.
Sometimes she can really make him feel helpless because she craps on him by doing things like this that totally cross boundaries. I remember when he knew that she was still buddies with BM and told her to stop because it was going to cause issues. She didn't & looking back every time he complains and gets mad she's done something a little more worse each time leading up to moving BM with her which right now is the most extreme things to date. Bit if I had to say I'd definitely say her behavior has gotten worse and more disrespectful to us and more towards BM favoritism.
Some grandparents only care
Some grandparents only care about being grandparents and will ship their own children up the river in order to be a full-time gran.
My MIL is heavily enmeshed with BM, and the only solution has been to DH to distance himself from his own mother. Her interference has caused visitation issues, financial issues, and just all around issues. She doesn't seem to understand that her actions have caused DH to disengage with her.
Exactly. And it wasn't like
Exactly. And it wasn't like this before. She was upset with BM at first. But something started happening. Little by little mil got more disrespectful, like when she shamed me for getting pregnant, knowing about my miscarriages and then calling SO to remind him about his old anniversary, then getting shocked when he got upset.
And it turned into full blown disrespect when she screamed obscenities and blamed me for things that happened when SO and BM were married. (I didn't meet SO until years later.)
Today she was so smug defending her decision to do this and painting me as the paranoid one.
She's enmeshed too and it's horrible.
This is so pathetically F'd
This is so pathetically F'd up it is nauseating. Your DH needs to step up and put his foot up both his mother's ass and his XW's.
You need to shred them both but definitely MIL needs to be shredded every time she pulls her shit.
I can't even remotely imagine what people like this are thinking. Obviously they are not thinking but whatever they are doing takes a decision that is focused on manipulation, toxicity and being nicking futz.
You and DH needs to purge these toxic harpies from his life, his wife's life, and the lives of all of his children. You both should make their existence so miserable that they would run shrieking off it to the forest in opposite directions rather than lay eyes on each other up close ever again.
And... you and DH should enjoy the process.
smh
It is nauseating. We both
It is nauseating. We both felt sick to our stomachs today. I can't tell my mom. I'm embarrassed. This looks so deliberate, no matter all the cheap flimsy explanations mil has thrown around. She's trying to insult our intelligence with all her reasons why but if you saw where she moved to it makes anything lose credibility. She did this on purpose and had fun calling me paranoid too with her smug voice on the phone.
I'm done with her. I blocked her number indefinitely today.