1) Peace.

2) Zero drama.

3) No more crises with the skids or in-laws. I no longer flinch when the phone rings at night.

4) Peace, again because it's glorious.

I think the stepparents in "good" situations are busy living their best lives lol. It's mostly the people struggling who post here. I will say i appreciate getting advice and stories from people who turned their situations around. Also, though, having people to vent to who understand is priceless. 
 

Also, SO is kind and takes an interest in my kids. We have a great time and great chemistry when it is just us. 

I've been married to DH for 15 years and I've met the BM exactly once.

Skids are generally nice to me, and they live 800 miles away. They never ask for money. DH tries very hard not to chase them. Sometimes he is more successful than other times, but he tries.

DH tells me every day how much he loves me and how this is the happiest time of his life.

1. SO isn't on social media 2. SO has good boundaries with his family 3. SO not struggling financially 4. SO is a sweetheart and treats me well 5. SO is proud to stand up for me. 6. We laugh a lot together. Oh wait......my SO is childless (I thought everyone could use a good laugh)

The best situations are those where the step kids do not live with them and the DH is not struggling with money. 

1. I am expected to DO nothing for skids.....ever. And when I do, I am thanked by both skids and DH.

2. I have a darling little unexpcted almost 2 year old that I adore......and watching her love on my 3 teenage girls is wonderful.

Let me count the ways:

My H isn't a Disney dad by any means. He supports and loves me/us and our marriage. My thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants are ALWAYS considered and appreciated. We communicate and he doesn't gaslight or undermine me and our relationship. There is mutual respect and above all we remain a united front and on the same page. 

It also helps that his daughter lives in another state many, many miles away.

Living far, FAR away from BM is pretty much the one major positive in my situation. 

Ridding the option for BM to dump skid on us last minute improved my life greatly. It was hell when we lived in the same city. She used and abused DH for the longest time, treating him like a babysitter.

My wife is a smokin super model tall hottie who made me a dad when she agreed to make a life together with me.  She backed me not only as her equity life partner, and she as mine, but she also recognized me as an equity parent to her son who became my son when we met and started dating when he was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo.

We have made an amazing life together, built a strong marriage, raised a strong man of honor, character, and integrity who has a good heart and is a successful man of standing in his career and community.  We have lived around much of the world together and built two notable professional careers together.  When one of us is in a career transition, the other has the ball as we build our retirement together.

And, the three of us have been the three musketeers for 25+ years and remain close.  Through all of that DW and I have made each other and our marriage our unchallenged priority.  The kid knows it and is working on that example in his own relationships.

The blended family opposition was never allowed to interfere in our family or our marriage.  We raised SS to be respectful of them as well as to have the facts of the history of his mom's and BioDad's relationship as well as the facts of the BioDad's legal issues and the extended family drama that drove them to manipulate SS as he was growing up.  He learned to recognize their manipulations and how to protect himself when he was with them or when they attempted to manipulate him as he became an adult.

DH and I have been married almost 4 years; together 5 1/2. I cannot say how wonderful it has been to be with my life partner and best friend. This is a great marriage, unlike my first marriage to a bipolar narcissist. 

DH is a wonderful stepdad to all three of my kids. My ex has turned out to be a total failure as a father who moved away, can't pay for college (I can...I would never ask DH to pay for my kids nor would I pay for his) and is just a self-sabotaging, crazy pos which I never would have imagined even the first couple years after our divorce. DH is there for all of my kids. And no I did not set out to replace my kids' father - his lack of relationship with them is his own doing not mine or DH's.

Our money is totally separate, and we both do well enough neither has ever burdened the other. However I am THRILLED that the last maintenance payment to BM just went out this week! He will still pay child support of $1000/mth for SS14 (that is nothing compared to what he's been paying the last 5 years).

As for his 'first family' - BM doesn't make trouble, though she is a santimonious condescending bitch. We will see what happens when she has to sell her house. I don't see Skids much, but the older SD's have never caused issues. They are fine.

DH was/is a good parent, he's always put me first.  SS20 lives with BM, he's no longer alienated, and DH has zero interest in rescuing him with money, help or a roof over his head. BM leaves DH alone now and Child Support ends in 11 months. Financially we are very comfortable and compatible in our frugal ways. His family lives out of the area and he likes my local family. 
 

It's all good now, except, until CS is done I am still waiting for BM's attorney to roll up with a subpoena. 

I am glad you are positive about your situation and it's nice for all of us to sometimes focus on what what the positives are that keep us in our situation.  

You've just joined ST a day ago, so welcome to the world of the typically less-than-happy stepparent situations!  There are many of us who have been around a LOOOONG time and have tales to tell which can be beneficial to newcomers.

Just looking at your profile I would encourage you to maintain your positivity yet proceed with a great deal of caution.  First and foremost, you must protect your child and yourself.  I don't know what your personal financial situation is but make sure you can leave at any time, and make sure that your income is not going to support your BF or his kids. 

I think it's great your BF is in pre-med but at the age of 48 and with more years of study then residency ahead, I wonder how much that will pay off in the long run.  He will be in his 50s when he begins to practice?  Plus he has 3 and 5 year old so he will already be in his 60s when his child support ends.  Have you discussed that?   (You have not met the 3 year old SS yet?  Why is that?  Also, you mention the 7 year old has behavioral issues - how serious are they?)   Your BF was still having children at age 45 so he must have known the consequences of that on his planned career change. 

It's also nice that your SD refers to you as "mom" but another area to be cautious about.  I think many on here can tell you to be cautious when skids identify/call you mom because that can create all kinds of conflict. 

GOOD THINGS!

24 years together

got out of DEBT from the first divorces together.

Fought off naysayers together.

Raised 6 skids and 2 both of ours together.

built a fortune together. Lost it together. built it again.

get to grow old together.  best friends together. loving the last year of childhood of our 2 kids we have together - almost emptynesters together.

get to be grandparents to some of the sgrands. 

get to make plans together. get to plan & eat meals together. 

have someone to text all the time. 

get to get dressed into outfits that match or don't clash together. 

share all of our memories together. 

always generous and helpful with each other. 

caring about each others well being, together.