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Laughing on the inside

fedupskiddad's picture

Trying to not say " I told you so"when proven right about ss13 was not easy. Wife calls me at work yesterday about 330 and says " just to let you know the kids were arguing but i put a stop to it". Ss13 has his TV and game system in our living room due to me having to sand and paint his bed this weekend. He calls his mom literally bawling because his brother told him to turn it down in in a very rude way after my bio son 14 did also. Both older boys were playing their own systems with head phones on and SS 13refused to put his on. The last two weeks he has done this in his room and living room and my wife basically accused my bio son 14 of picking on him and being an ahole about the noise. Well when his brother in another room can hear it she finally seen my son wasn't being mean or picking on him. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I have learned to disengage for the most part but I was hard to not laugh at it. I get up at 430am every morning for work and this morning ss14 was still up in his room playing his computer games. I used to get upset because he is the laziest kid I've ever met bit all I said was "dude go to bed and I won't tell your mom". Him and his brother are the same ages as my older two but you can tell the difference in how they were raised. My 14 son is straight A's with 4.0 and advance classes. My daughter 13 has 3.6 gpa now with all B's and shooting for a 4.0. she literally paid ss14 $25 to bring his grades up and ss13 I'm on his ass but he's lucky to get a C because I'm "to hard on him". I'm learning that disengaging didn't mean things won't bother me but the BS is easier to deal with when you don't get emotionally involved.

Acratopotes's picture

Disengagement is good, do not evolve yourself with any brat child not yours... let the parent deal with it..

I would handle DW calling me at work to tell me that little snippet differently, I would simply say and you are calling why?....

see she thinks she parented now and you will take over lol.... DW should've called you with the following statement: SS13 is acting like a baby and refuse to use headphones, thus I told him no electronics for a week, till he learns there's other people in the house as well....see that would've been awesome

clark6292's picture

Good for you! I am still learning to disengage - it is a process. An ongoing process. With regard to your comments about kids grades.. I have raised a SS and SD and have 3 of my own (all with one DH) and they are ALL so different. Some are motivated for excellence, while another I had to bribe to succeed. Try not to compare skids and bkids like that though (I know..it's hard!) As young adults now the kid that I had to bribe for success holds a high level position and he is still very easy going (which I assume helps him handle the high stress that goes with his job.) You just never know... they are all so different. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you Wink

Major Blunder's picture

I secretly enjoy times like that myself hen DW has something come back to bite her in the rear, usually under my breath I say something like, " You made your bed, now lie in it" or the fan favorite, "Not my kid, not my problem" .

SugarSpice's picture

i also know the silent laugh. serves them right. the in laws and skids are all having to sleep in the beds they made too.

Rags's picture

You have to enjoy the clarity moments when a spouse has a moment of clarity regarding the behavior of their prior relationship kids.

Enjoy it for the very short time it will likely last.