Just venting....
This is the interaction I just had with SD:
"Honey, you shouldn't do your homework in front of the TV. Either go to the dining room table or go to your room."
"Just a minute."
She keeps reading.
"SD, go to the dining room or to your room to do that."
"I SAID JUST A MINUTE"
She keeps reading. I keep waiting. Then I ask her again, and she FINALLY goes, only after looking at me and commenting, "I told you to wait, and you did."
This kid needs a slap.
I was on the phone with DH when this whole interaction occurred. He said, "she does the same thing to me, you shouldn't take it personal."
Its not about me taking it "personal." She shouldn't talk like that to ANY adult. She's a little shit and I'm sick of her crap.
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I've been home for 10 weeks now on maternity leave. I love the time I spend with my BD. She is the light of my life.
Every day, at about 2 p.m., I start feeling the anxiety. Because I know SD will be home in an hour, and then everything will suck. I feel so uncomfortable interacting with her. I've considered just taking my BD and staying in my bedroom from 3 p.m. on. But that's not fair to my BD, and its not fair to myself either. I shouldn't let SD force me out of the common living space with her bad behavior.
Instead, we sit in strained silence together in the living room. Woohoo. Gotta love when "home" feels so uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
We had a similar situation in our house (my kids are grown) and I inherited a 16 year old SS when he was 14.
At first he took over the family communal living space upon waking AND right up until his bedtime 10:00. DH would say NOTHING at all (sit there adoring his son and watching 16 year old shows, surprised they did not hold hands!)-I tried hinting to both of them, being nice, writing down how I felt-I had to ask permission to watch one evening show in the family room-when there are two other NEWER TV's in the house for SS!
Finally I asked myself-did I live like that with my own two sons-so why am I doing that with this kid?
I laid it on the line (took me two years-I needed a smack on the head for taking so long) and I nicely set some boundaries-unfortunately I had to follow DH around to enforce them. SS just scurries under the rock he has come from as he hates the nagging I do when I follow up with him-I do not take his SKIDTEEN ATTITUDE personally - I have grown a thick skin with two bio kids-
boy can I relate with you!
oh jeez, if I ever pulled
oh jeez, if I ever pulled that it would have been tv off, me in room for the rest of the night. come to think of it, I was on "tv" allowance as a kid, 2 hours per day (including video games) so I wouldn't have wasted my tv time while doing homework...
I'm so glad your baby is bringing you such joy though!!!
from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.
God Jess.. she is a royal
God Jess.. she is a royal be otch. I would have turned the tv off, and THEN waited. I would also have dh set the house rules that homework is to be done at a kitchen/dining room table OR in her bedroom. That was the rule in my house growing up. its to teach them good studying skills.. good lord.
As for dh.. he needs to get his head out of his butt, and realize that its not the taking it personally thing, its the complete and UTTER lack of respect for an adult. HE should not put up w/it NOR should YOU!! That is what I would tell him. How does he expect her to hold a job later in life, if she cant get the pecking order at home down? Bet her teachers dont put up w/that crap..
LOL...I can totally relate
I'm sorry I was cracking up because this was hillarious. It is really similar to what happens with my SD8. It does happen with me or her DH, but she is just disrespectful. We'll ask her to do something and she takes a decade getting up to do it, and when she does there is a big 'sigh' and mumuring under her breath as she goeas away...lol...
I can also relate to the fact that you have just had a BD, which I have too (she is now about 5 months). I was fortunate that during my 3 months of maternity leave my mother-in-law wanted to keep SD8 for the summer - which was my whole leave, so I did have uninterrupted time with my BD - it was great. Now, I feel like you that when I get home, I have alittle time to spend before SD8 comes home, and it is so uncomfortable because SD8 is a bada$$. So me and her DH are always just not feeling it when she comes home........we just await the hour that she goes to bed! It is definately not good being uncomfortable in your own house.