Theft and drugs
I think my step son may have pawned my engagement ring. It has been missing for two weeks, my partner and I have turned the house upsidedown looking for it and we both remember it being on the dining room table just before I went to take a shower. I just noticed some expensive things in his room that he shouldn't be able to afford since he doesn't have a job or an allowance. He does drugs and I'm nervous about asking my partner to either search his room or accuse him of taking it. He's very spiteful regarding our upcoming wedding which he decided not to come to, and I'm totally fine with that But he has been throwing full on temper tantrums over the last few months since I told my partner and him that I was uncomfortable with him using drugs at our house. I seriously don't know what to do. He and his dad just want me to play it cool around the house but I have been disengaging because any interaction just feels forced, fake and upsetting. I saw a meme that said "God give me patience because if you give me strength I'll just punch someone in the face." It made me laugh, and it's totally true but it has not solved my problems. Thoughts?
I can tell you what to do,
I can tell you what to do, call the cops. What he is doing is illegal. Do you really want to marry a guy who wants you to be cool with enabling a junkie?
I can tell you what to do,
I can tell you what to do, call the cops. What he is doing is illegal. Do you really want to marry a guy who wants you to be cool with enabling a junkie?
It wont get better
My druggie SD59 lived with us for 10 months. It took awhile for me to realize that things were going missing. 83yoDH couldnt bring himself to confront "poor SD" who has always resented me. He had his knee replaced during that period and she even stole her dad's pain pills.. She robbed our neighbor. We finally got her out. We "papered over" the incident.
When she visits now, he hides his wallet and I hide my purse. If I were you, I would expect this behavior to continue and escalate.
It hasn't occurred to your
It hasn't occurred to your partner that his son may have stolen your ring? Or, are you just supposed to be cool with that, too?
If your maybe husband won't
If your maybe husband won't do anything about your engagement ring being stolen by his little druggie hoodlum, I would take that as a gigantic red flag that you/your upcoming wedding are not important.
No way I am living in a home that I have to worry about my things being stolen.
^^^These would be my thoughts
^^^These would be my thoughts too. ^^^ Also, like Exjuliemccoy said, check local pawn shops to see if your ring is there. Don't marry this man, and keep all your valuables locked up until you are no longer sharing a home with this boy.
How many pawn shops are there
How many pawn shops are there nearby? I'd be tempted to do a little investigating. I'd also make some of the p.o.s. son's new stuff disappear. The dad might be a delusional enabler, but the son will get the message that you're playing a whole different game.
Tell your fiance (Why oh why do you want to marry into this dysfunction???) you're going to the police. Do it. File a report, and tell the whole truth. The officers may have helpful suggestions, or be more inclined to keep an eye out for the p.o.s.
Addicts do ANYTHING to get to
Addicts do ANYTHING to get to that next high. ANYTHING. Stealing and lying become second nature.
And your partner enables this? That's craptastic parenting. How old is the stepson, what is the plan for him getting a job, and launching? Oh, there isn't one? Then this is your life.
Regardless of who they may be
Regardless of who they may be, POS people have no place in the home of decent people and the stench that a POS brings to the home cannot be tolerated.
Many pawnshops have cameras.
Many pawnshops have cameras. Or they would remember who brought what in. I would try to find the ring, and prosecute.
Ask him where he got the new stuff. Follow through with his story. Nail his arse to the wall.
Either way, I could never live in a house with a junkie thief, or an SO who doesn't care. Postpone the wedding.
He steals and gets away with
He steals and gets away with it, he will do it again. Sk2 has stolen from al of us for years. He hasn't done it recently but it went on for 10 years. Brother, younger sibling under 10, me, mum and sibings in his dad's new family.
Ask him if he stole it, he will deny it but make it clearto him that if anything else goes mising you will be calling the police or he has to move out. Who cares why he's doing it, you'll never get to th bottom of that without a lot of intensive costly therapy that they might not even engage in (happened here) but a person has to want to change and realise they are doing wrong. This will just continue otherwise....Don't put up with it, clear boundaries need to be set.
Theft and drugs = prison and thugs.
Keep it simple.
Let LE deal with it. Press charges.