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Jerry Springer wouldnt even take this story

no win situation's picture

OK I dont know where to start so Im just going to do a few sections with recent issues...Let's begin with DH ex wife is married to my ex husband (yes she is that crazy) Which makes issues double. DH has 2 girls with his ex 10 & 8. I have 1 son with my ex 7. And DH and I have a 2 yr old son together. (who wait for it - the ex's also have a daughter who happened to be born same day) LOL.
SDs- Ok so the 10 yr old had cancer and is in 5t y rem. which is amazing and I know shes a very strong lil girl for overcoming that. But both DH and BM favor her over the SD8 which is just wrong to me. If SD10 meets someone new first words are (in a two yr old toddler voice) I had cancer. SD10 will be nice to me in front of DH but is rude and evil if its just us two. I have tried everything to be understanding and nice and I am just at wits end. DH ignores not only me, SD8 , and both boys just to give SD10 all his attention. And his exucse with me is "oh you just hate my kids" (not true but his behavior pushes me further away) I treat all the kids as fairly as possible If SD8. Im always left picking up pieces when SD8 is crying bc daddy wont spend time time with her. SD10 will sit in his lap ask for him to hold her and in private i try to tell DH she is far to old for that. (when my son who was 5 at time sat in my lap he said your to big to be in your moms lap- i shot him a look like are you serious you let someone 3 yrs older sit in yours) If i make dinner the boys eat was is cooked if they dont they do not get dessert. After both girls cr (which they are both very whiny) he makes them something else they barely eat and they get dessert. SD10 will use the blahblah makes us call him daddy . DH will get so upset- when i try explaining the girls our playing both fields (i come from a split family and i played the same fields lol) So take everything with a grain of salt. Well when we drop off kids we always get the phone calls for days on them grilling girls and half stuff is complete fibs - i tell BI and my ex that the situtation is fd up enough grilling kids isnt going to help them more. I never do this when they have my son if my son wants to share what he did or happened that is on is own i do not ask other than did you have fun did you see cousins etc. I do not talk bad about either one to any of the kids. But the both constantly talk bad ab me and my DH.
On with this lunatic BM(ill add bits of my ex who shes married too)- She has recently called insurance pretending to be me to get dr appts on my youngest son - she will then magically on those same days and times call DH and say SD10 needs something done with insurance so he of course has missed every appt ive asked him to go on for our son but 1. It has caused more fights bc he doesnt understand why i get pissed hes doing something for his kids. (KID its always the fave SD10 that needs it for one - its stuff she is prefectly able to do herself - and after finding our about insurance its clearly NOTHING to do with kids). She never has the ends other than school nights any whole day where she'd have to have kids they are at my ex's family for weekend for being sent off to hers for weeks at a time. Im not going to get into everything bc id be writing a novel or 5...She is constantly texting and calling me every bad name in book, a bad mother, scum f earth etc. it go so bad the other night i had to block both her and my ex husband from calling or texting me..The very next day shes texts DH saying ohhh my drs says im on your insurance can you check- of course she isnt why would it be coming up 4 yrs down the road...He uses his lunch to go up and handle insurance texts her bk saying no your not just says your restricted from using my ss (bc of her changing his addy on insurance and hacking into my sons info) I told him he needs to stop doing all this insurance bs SHE is capable of doing it but why will she if he runs off and does it for her sorry a**. After all the textsI finally just said YOU need to talk to her and tell her enough is enough get off her fn titty long enough to she this isnt about kids but about her. Anytime my ex calls to talk to our son 7 yr old boy (Who like most boys hates the phone) wont talk (i beg bribe ask even if he hasnt called to tlak to his dad) but he talks to no one if hes away from me he wont talk to me on the phone either. But my ex sends it into all ab DH and SDs so i always say that has nothing to do with the topic at hand and until you can get bk to it this converstation is done. But of course BM of Sds has to get her big nose involved.
Ill continue with the rest later since my sons awake but im at wits end with everything. And after the insurance BS and the fight the other night viz texts Idk why DH wil not say crap to her ab doing stuff herself- hell even yelling ab hacking into insurance on a child that had nothing to do with her who i had to be talked down from pressing charges bc his Girls lil princesses need to be living with a criminial clearly- ijust neer advice on how to handle any of this bc clearly trying didnt work stepping bk and having no role isnt working- i can only bite my tounge for so long before i smack some reality into every single person involved (besides SD i know this isnt their fault but they both do need to have rules to follow in our house- bc otherwise every time we have them they'll do whatever they want and i can not continue with that)

Oi Vey's picture

Did I follow that correctly?
You and DH are married and your respective exes are married to each other?
And both couple have daughters born on the same day??

OMG, I think I got lost there. Wink

Just a helpful hint, too... I like paragraphs! It makes it much easier to read.

no win situation's picture

yes you read correctly! When she learned about me and my husband dating she tracked down my x who she had never met and started a relationship. I knew with that she was out there mentally but wasn't aware just how much. It is te real like wife swap but i feel their entire relationship is spent trying to one up DH and myself.
In her Ongoing texts to me the other night she repeated over and over how she is now a business owner (spelt business - BUSNESS) lol so my only comment back was You should learn to spell before you claim without a GED, any college and in this economy you are now a business owner. Id stop texting or you will have harrassment charges. I just don't think my love for my husband is enough for me to deal with this nonsense. With army, raising kids, dealing with those two, SDs issues. Who honestly would survive it with no backing up from the DH.
Im just alone and a batte that i dont see how i can possibly win

PrincessFiona's picture

Oh I so do not envy you ! I have been close enought to that situation to feel the heat and I'm glad it burned out.

My ex also dated DH's ex. They thought it would get to us. She thought they were getting married. He ran when he realized we didn't care. BM is crazy. I was terrified she might become my kids SM.

no win situation's picture

I feel like this is some bad reality show, I'm living in. But thanks to her last rampage via texts. I contacted my custody lawyer and was told as long as she has so much hate towards me not to send my son for visits with his father. It's been a year in dec since he had him anyways - and ever since that last visit my son said please momma i dont want to go back there. I didnt press as to why though. He did in his own time say that she sent him and my ex to spend night at his mothers. Which annoyed me bc I never fight in front of my kids or SDs - let alone kick them out for the night.

I find it amusing she went to my ex who i had been with since i was 15, he was abusive v/p, had drug problems (the severity i didnt realize until after i left). If he is still any of the above i am not sure bc I choose to not want to know any part of their lives. The day they got married he kept texting me updates ...at courthouse..said i do...kissed...I was like I am your ex for a reason and i could careless about your updates unless they involve our son. Which he had NOTHING to do with until he started dating her. So the fact she thinks hes doty for calling his son occasionally is beyond me. They never send him birthday gifts- yet if we are a day late on the SDs gifts we are called nonstop on how shitty we are.

I love my SD8 response last year saying "this is just really weird" I was like honey you have no idea lol. I'm much closer with younger step daughter than the older. mainly bc I will sit and watch girly movies , play barbies, all that fun little girl stuff..and she always says mommy and daddy never play with me. I just think this marriage situation is enough to f up any kid, and the way the play fave with older SD is just so sad to me. Needless to say while DH was with his ex (hes army and was deployed) she was dating some other soldier and took he girls to his families house out of town. And once she moved to my wonderful ex lol she had them calling his family aunt/gma/uncle etc. I think my SDs both will need serious therapy and I have brought this up with my husband. He completely shot the idea down as i hated the girls.

BM lets SD10 have a fb (which to me is even if monitored way to young - but must be old fashion) Anytime there is a fight BM blocks my husband off her fb - i have never been allowed on it but honestly i am fine with that bc i feel a 10yr old has no business seeing why my friends and myself write about. She uses both girls as pawns and DH never says anything about it to her. I know they are not my kids, but being from parents that divorced (not in this way tho lol thank godI know its hard so i can say that has helped me in the being a step mom when i want to rip my hair out and run away. So maybe I am out of line by saying they need therapy who knows. I swear though if SD10 keeps talking like a baby i will have to force DH to do something about it. It is embarrassing when we have company over with her talking like that, and it is so bad she messes herself up with her daaddyy will u pwes pay wif mee. And it is ONLY to DH and BM she does this too. My inlaws love me and bk me up 100% (possibly bc they hated BM that much) but i believe in if a child back talks you , they get their bottom tanned and sent to the bedroom no if and's or butt's. DH doesnt allow either boys to talk back or get away with anything..but both SDs could murder a small infant and he'd help hide the body i swear. Im a ex wife though and Im not near as crazy as the one I deal with. I dont call - dont ask for money- only time they hear from me is if it is er. Last time that happened son was being sent by abulance to childrens hospital in next county...exH said ok and then 7 hours later in wee hours calls and ask what IV did they give him. So now even er dont happen much since life threatening ones mean little to him or her.

I also believe BM has munchoser(?) SD10 constantly has new issues ...foot is not growing properly specialist for that, migranes with vomiting sp for that, blood levels off sp for that, arm issues sp also....I just find it really weird that is it always SD10 never SD8 maybe I'm just wrong but it is def weird.

marty15's picture

Wow your ex's married each other. What a total nightmare. Sorry I don't have any advice but you have my sympathy! You deserve a medal for the fact that you haven't lost your mind with all the drama and complications!