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I've achieved the holy grail (at least for now..)

AllIwantisapeacefullife's picture

Submitted by AllIwantisapeac... on Thu, 01/11/2024 - 12:58pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

So, after a year and a half of being ignored, not accepted, generally treated like crap by my SD (nearly 18) in my own frickin home, my SO has put his foot down and she is not allowed to stay over for what could be months!! 

This was backed up and approved by our counsellor who did not hold back during our last session and laid it all out on the table "you've completely babied your daughter, you now need to help her grow and learn"  Counsellor has recommended she does not retun until she is able to accept the family, the home, area etc and this she said, will likely take months. If I were capable of doing cartwheels, I'd have cartwheeled myself to Oblivion haha. 

SO will continue to see skid outside the home (good luck making that a pleasurable experience when she constantly has a face like a slapped arse and is never happy..

 

I am ashamed to say it but the relief is palpable and I feel like I can finally enjoy my home again!

I just wanted to share - there is hope if you are patient and let skids mess up all on their own!

 

 

CajunMom's picture

Submitted by CajunMom on Thu, 01/11/2024 - 5:23pm

You guys have a great counselor. We need more like that in the world. Enjoy your peaceful home. It's wonderful when you can remove the "toxic." Ask me how I know. 

AllIwantisapeacefullife's picture

Submitted by AllIwantisapeac... on Fri, 01/12/2024 - 12:44am

Cajun - absolutely! Our counsellor has been with us since day 1 so she's been part of the journey. She met SD once (SO insisted) and SD behaved exactly the same with her - rude, ignorant and unable to open up at all so she knows the score. Counsellor told SO "your partner needs a break from it" I could have cried there and then!

Counsellor told us what I already knew - SD is jealous and thinks I have "taken her daddy away" I don't think I could have given them anymore space together but I'm the bad guy. These self absorbed, over-grown princesses need to grow up!

BanksiaRose's picture

Submitted by BanksiaRose on Fri, 01/12/2024 - 4:23am

I'm really happy for you. May she continue thinking her way into adulthood, after which it'll be time to live independently, or with a boyfriend, or whatever.

AgedOut's picture

Submitted by AgedOut on Fri, 01/12/2024 - 7:10am

she wanted a reason to be mad, she's got one now. she can sit in her own stink with her pout mad face. and if daddy needs to coddle her, at least he's not doing it under your roof. 

AllIwantisapeacefullife's picture

Submitted by AllIwantisapeac... on Fri, 01/12/2024 - 8:34am

I completely agree. She is a very angry and bitter young woman just like her mother. She has tried to control us for so long. We meet people through life who teach us important lessons - she met me lol 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Fri, 01/12/2024 - 9:45am

You know in three or four weeks SO going to have a change of actions. Most likely his heart and mind isn't into this .  Keeping SD away.  But how can you go against a counsellor,,  And still going for counseling,   He has to do something now,  but I bet Hes knows the way SD is. And he looking for a way out already.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 01/12/2024 - 5:09pm

A unicorn therapist is worth their weight in gold.   You found one who realizes that they work for you and cuts to the chase instead of meandering through the fee fee maze.

Very rare in the pseudo science realm.

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Sat, 01/13/2024 - 4:43pm

"Has a face like a slapped arse".  Omg...I am dying laughing!!!

I hope she stays away!!!  Will BM pull some sort of stunt and kick her out?  My SOs daughter was constantly going back and forth after she graduated high school.   Eventually BM kicked her out and she lived with my SO for awhile because "he couldn't let her live in the streets".  Eventually he kicked her out too.

AllIwantisapeacefullife's picture

Submitted by AllIwantisapeac... on Sun, 01/14/2024 - 2:56am

Haha, it's true!

No BM is a typical helicopter parent so she indulges and panders to their every whim. There's no way she would kick them out - it's a very unhealthy codependent relationship on both sides. She does however depend on us having SD every other weekend and one week night for "respite" hopefully this will make BM actually start to effectively parent and stop babying her daughters. They are both massively entitled, self absorbed and very immature for their ages. 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Sun, 01/14/2024 - 1:28pm

Good luck, enjoy it.

I predict that it will be a short term thing, because daddy cakes wants to please kiddo. You will be made to feel guilty and to blame for taking away her dadee.

This happened to me with SD24 Feral Forger. I "took" away her dadee by not allowing her to live with us again. And now she tells him he is "just the sperm donor"...

Enjoy your hard earned peace Biggrin

Stepdrama2020's picture

Submitted by Stepdrama2020 on Mon, 01/15/2024 - 12:11pm

If she ever is allowed to come back, lets hope not, make it completely uncomfortable for her. That wont be hard, just have expectations of her that includes human decency. Ya know that aint in her playbook.

Blessings and fingers crossed your home is SD free forever  which is good for the environment. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 01/15/2024 - 2:46pm

 

I suggest no key and she leaves the home at start of the work day and does not return until the end of the workday after her parent and that parents mate are home.  At which point she starts prepping, cooking, serving, and cleaning up after dinner then starts housekeeping duties until bed time.

That... is called a burning platform.