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My 4 step boys have Aspergers and Autism....

kissandraw's picture

There ages are 22, 17, 7, and 4. . They have really amazing personalities and are so innocent. but. there only fun to hang out with in very short periods of time... The first three have aspergers and archer has very slight autism.. the best autism any parent with an autistic child can as for. Now. the one i have the most difficulty with is the 17yr old and the 7 yr old. the 17yr old has major emotional trama.. his mom cheated on his dad and he first found out when he was 6 and had to go to a therapist for anger issues when he was 8. he started acting out in school,only toward female teachers, and kids started to bully him... he bullied back... he just has alot of anger toward any woman.. he hates his mom, which is heart breaking because i never imagined a kid ever hating a mom ( mine was amazing and is my best friend).. so i come into his life...he was at first happy.. because he never seen his dad so happy.. soon he got jealous of me for taking his dad away, and leaving him with his mom.. but we had to find a new place, since he lost the house he built, so when we finally got him back he was very mad. constant anger. wouldnt make any eye contact with me. called me names and fat on a daily basis, for weeks.. of course never in front of his dad.. what drew the line for me was when he started disrespecting his dad. i felt like i had to defend him.. which was a bad call.. and i, before that, had kept my mouth shut, thought it was a phase.. so than after that he started doing it in front of his dad, and they would get into a fight. and there would just be so much tension. then the holidays came around and his mother made him to go home or else he wouldnt go on a two week vacation in hawaii.... than he stayed there two weeks after hawaii.. and when he came back.. it was like he really appreciated me. we get into little arguments every now and then but now its way better.. i just get annoyed that he wears the same shirt same pants to school everyday and eats the worst junk food ever, ruins my electronics when he borrows them, never goes to sleep and instead of taking the bus to school like every other normal child.. purpose-fully waits for the last minute to do anything and makes his dad give him a ride to school. Im sure i do very annoying things too.... i have never liked other peoples kids.. especially if there spoiled.. never baby sat... until i entered this relationship. now i do it almost everyday.. and im a stay at home artist. and hes a super busy crabber and gold miner that if he wants to see his kids.. i have to make that sacrafice of my personal time..to watching his boys so when he does come home, he will be able to see them and have quality time with them..

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kissandraw's picture

the 7yr old just knows how to bug me.. ive never had my personal space so violated. he dosent understand personal boundaries, or really realizes what u say to him.. .. he talks with an outside voice constantly... is not appreciative of any toy he has.. which is alot.. always wants more.. pees in the bathtub... dosent share toys he does play with. and if he does they have to play his game.. cries if he dosent get what he wants.. very spoiled. i know... if i was a parent i would spoil them too.. but still.. hes just not grateful.. and its sad.. something im trying to help my partner teach his kids is how to be great full for everything they have and be nice. Hes innocent in this.. just something i guess will happen over time.. but i feel really bad for my feelings sometimes.. and i do wish they were never born with there dieseases... or at all... and it sucks cause i want kids with my lover soooooo bad. and i think that maybe if i do i will love his kids more... and value them more.. its just hard to constantly watch kids that feel like watching a strangers kids from down the street....

kissandraw's picture

Yeah, all with the same woman. i know, i was very skeptical about having kids with him but, he got checked out, turns out his sperm is totally fine...the mother has aspergers and didnt have that great of eggs and had alot of complications with each pregnancy... whats so sad is that she is remarried to one of the people she cheated on my partner with, and is currently trying having more kids.. at 40 something...

StepMomTaxi's picture

I hope you aren't using their real names. Giving out identifiable information can come back to bite people in the arse. Just FYI.

Convulsive's picture

"Asperger Syndrome & Your Child", read it & pretend to understand. You won't understand, give it 10 years & then you might... Having an Aspie sucks. They're brilliant & literal & soooo incredibly socially inept. Its interesting, welcome to the ride. I have 2 bios, 3 skids, can't imagine dealing with more then 1 with special needs.

kissandraw's picture

I have an amazing partner. even though i struggle with learning to love and teach his kids, hes worth it.
Im just really happy i found this site, i felt so evil and ashamed for my feelings. but its good to know im not the only person in the world. I think when i have my own kid, (hopefully a girl, cause theres alot boys running around the house) i just know some switch in my head will turn on and i feel like i would instantly feel the unconditional love feeling my partner feels for his kids, because of the experience of having my own..just wish i could feel it now!