I feel guilty for hating my girlfriends son
When I first met her she didn't tell me right away she had a son, but eventually she did and introduced me to him. He was 3 years old at the time and I thought he was a good kid the first couple of times I saw him, but as he started spending more time with us, I realized that he wasn't that good, he cried 5 times a day literally every time I saw him for the stupidest things. He goes to his fathers house and the grandmothers spoils the crap out of him, so for the last 3 years every time he comes back from their house he's even worse than before. After a while he starts calling me stupid, dumb, And mind you I was good to this kid, and hmy girlfriend would laugh and condone it. I started hating him little by little because he never behaves and constantly butts into convos, after my son was born I began hating him even more. Just a few days ago I caught my son hanging out the play pen, he's never done it before, and I see her son just sitting there laughing, I knew he set it up because he's always trying to give my son paper to eat and all this crap. He moved in with us about 6 months ago and ever since then I've been miserable, I make sure to stay at the gym for 3 hours to avoid this kid, he's 5 going on 6 now and not 1 thing has changed, he still cries everyday, Demands things, no manners, Talks bad to his own mother, and is secretly malicious to my own son. Everyone tries to make me feel guilty for distancing myself from this kid and I hate it, I'm so close to breaking up with my girlfriend because if I'm not at work or at the gym, I'm in my room, a prisoner in my own house. Idk what to do anymore, everyday I get more frustrated and it sucks cause I usually love kids but I hate this kid so much.
looks like need rules and put
looks like need rules and put them in place as it stands it's you're and misses house with ss and own son, be better man about it for yourself start spending time with him let him know he can't act up like that , no harm in scelpt arse either, would you let own kid fet away with it
Yea you're right, I realized
Yea you're right, I realized that a while ago, My mother used to tell me its wrong to feel that way, then she baby sat him for a day and her opinion changed, I spoke to my gf about it and she shrugs it off like its nothing
I can tell you this, it's not
I can tell you this, it's not going to magically get any better unless mom decides to lay down some rules.
Thanks for the reassurance,
Thanks for the reassurance, its nice knowing other people feel this way and hopefully your issue gets resolved, Harboring this guilt has put a strain on me mentally. The father picks him up every weekend, and every weekend this kid literally comes back even worse, I used to step up and try to teach him right from wrong, and whenever I did I would hear it from his fathers family while my girlfriend stayed silent. I just have up when it came to that.
Speaking as an older woman
Speaking as an older woman who has watched a lot of children grow up - some kids are just born aholes. I've seen lovely people who were good parents raise wonderful children with the exception of one who turns out to be the devil incarnate.
Sometimes nature wins out over nurture.
Why are you so incapable of
Why are you so incapable of stepping up as an authority figure within your OWN DAMN HOME???
No one is preventing you. If your GF doesn't like it, she can leave with her ignorant kid. What do you have to lose? It sounds like you are on your way out anyhow.
I do step up, Its the fact
I do step up, Its the fact that when I do his whole fathers side of the family gets involved, I'm literally the first person who's told this kid No , and when I did all hell broke loose.
Firstly, you really should be
Firstly, you really should be ashamed of yourself for the way you think of this small child. That's terrible for an adult feel that way about a child. The problem is the child's parents.
You have every right to expect to be treated with respect in your own home. Step up and do it. The childs father and extended family do NOT get a vote on what goes on in YOUR home.
You need to nip this in the bud now, or your own son will start behaving this way too.
Are you serious?? Clearly
Are you serious?? Clearly this kid is causing this house to be a nightmare place to be. Yes it is the mothers responsibility to correct the child but apparently she isn't. So the OP's feelings are valid. I never thought I could "hate" a child either until I met my SS. When a child is outwardly and knowingly being mean and abusive...you learn to despise that child. And so what if he is almost 6. That is old enough to understand right from wrong. My SS is 14 and the most vile person I have ever met. He is rude, disprespectful, manipulative and just evil at times. Am I supposed to LOVE him because he is a child. Hell no.
The fact is, if this childs mother and father refuse to parent this child and refuse to allow you to set boudaries...you either need to put your foot down or move out.
He is 5 now but in time he will be 15 and worse than you could ever imagine. The time to correct this is NOW! Plus you don't want your child to pick up this kids bad example.
Have to disagree with you
Have to disagree with you here, it's not the kid, it's the parents. Without parenting how is the kid going to know any other way to behave?
In what way does it help to
In what way does it help to be ashamed of one's feelings. This is a forum where we can express our feelings in a safe place. Some kids are awful! Where else are we going to go to express these feelings. You should be ashamed of yourself for telling someone how to feel.
Well you're half right. I
Well you're half right. I joined Steptalk because I was looking for a forum to get to know some other step parents. At the time I joined up I didn't realise it was a place to simply slam stepchildren.
I know there are bratty kids out there, but kids aren't born that way - their parents make them that way. Instead of hating on and calling your stepkids appalling names, perhaps you should direct your hate where it's most appropriate - at your partners.