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I’m not ok

may927's picture

After months and months of being very careful, getting vaccinated and boosted, my DH, me and my 2.5 year old all have had Covid for over a week.  We are all ok luckily.  We must have passed it on to SD 21 and her girlfriend right before Christmas.  Since they have roommates they started staying with us yesterday after they had been house sitting.  They have their own space with two large rooms, a tv, and their own bathroom downstairs and they've been upstairs for 10 straight hours today.  I thought bc her gf was here they'd be downstairs to be alone.  They are nice girls but I'm an introvert and have had spiked anxiety after this horrendous month of holidays and Covid.  

We talked to them about the new CDCs reccomendations that you can go out 5 days after symptoms begin but they don't believe it and are staying for I don't know how long.  I do not think that I can handle this.  I need my space desperately.  I wouldn't even want my best friend in my space for this long.  My husband doesn't really get it and it's too hard to really talk about because they are pleasant enough.  I feel like I'm going to crack and I'm only holding it together for my son. He's super attached to me so I can't even go hide in my room.  

There's nothing to say, but somehow typing this helps in the moment.  Thanks for listening.  

JRI's picture

I'm an introvert, too, so I know what you mean.  Can you say something about your little one needing quiet so everyone needs to go downstairs?

I'm sure some of the Steptalkets with medical backgrounds will have good medical information, I wish I did.  But in the meantime, thank goodness you are doing well and please feel free to vent some more.  Hang in there, May.

may927's picture

Thank you for responding.  DH is going to bed with my son and just asked them to give me some alone time.  I hate how much I beat myself up for this- because they are all extroverted and they've read it as unwelcoming or unfriendly in the past.   

To be honest this whole situation is not for me- but only 1.5 years until the youngest leaves home.  Then I can handle visits much better.  Thanks again for responding.  It sucks to feel alone in these situations. 

JRI's picture

I've been surprised how many StepTalkers are introverts.  Or maybe steplife gets to us worse.  I've also been surprised in my own life that extroverts understand us so little.

may927's picture

I think it's a little of both.  And it continually surprises me how there are so many intelligent, well read, curious people out there who do not understand what it means to be an introvert.  

Rags's picture

Whether your SD and her GF are intelligent enough to believe the CDC update or not, it is a fact. Print it out, give it to them, and inform them that they go back to their place per the CDC guidelines.

THere is nothing to discuss.

Make it happen. Better yet, inform your DH that he will make it happen.

 PERIOD! DOT!

Someoneelse's picture

I feel that CDC's new updates are due to being pressured by big businesses, I think that it's hurting the economy to have employees out for so long, but I think that the new 5 days thing is really a bad call.

But I am an introvert as well, so I get that it's hard having people in your home... I feel the same way.

CajunMom's picture

yet my home is my sanctuary and I like my privacy. I really don't like anyone to stay longer than a week because then I start stressing and my need to "nest" gets strong. And that's people I like. LOL

I see nothing wrong in your DH (or even you) explaining to them you need a little down time (I call it time to decompress). And yeah...I'd print out the new CDC guidelines and let them know they are "cleared" to go home. Then walk out of the room to avoid any "debating" of the issue.

justmakingthebest's picture

It is exhausting to have people in your home, I completely understand and would feel the same. 

I like the idea of just starting up a conversation with "Have you seen the new guidelines? Looks like you can go home now since you aren't showing any symptoms! Great news, huh!?!" 

bananaseedo's picture

I think sometimes life circumstances can 'guide' your personality one way or the other.  When I'm suffereing from depression/anxiety or at the height of step world drama, I became quite the introvert.  Then came Covid, which just exasperated and cemented introvert tendencies.

I have a new job that requires I be an extrovert- and since I was once before, years before stephell...I've found it's something I've had to work at, but succeeding in opening up and becoming more social

Having people at home for that long woudl be tough though- shoot for the most part I rather not even have my husband around the house lol. I really do love my alone time and space.  I can sympathize.

Rags's picture

Though periodically I do need some Rags alone time.  I have even been known to check into a hotel for a long weekend for just me time.  My DW is fine with it. As long as I tell her in advance. She will even recommend that I do it when she is seeing the signs of me needing to decompress.  Or she will take a trip to visit her family.

Prior to having the resources to do the hotel thing, I used to toss my small tent, sleeping bag, cooler, and mountain bike in the back of my truck and head out for the weekend.  I always had a book with me so I could read by lamp light either by a fire or in my tent.  I did not go to camp grounds. I went to isolated BLM or National Forest remote locations.  Not so far that I could not hike or bike out, but far enough to not see any people.

Kerrywho's picture

I don't even think it's a matter of being extroverted or introverted. Being constantly talked to and/or not given space would bother anyone especially when it's done by someone else's kids

 

For many people, talking to/spending time with their partner's kids is a chore or at the very least, tolerated, but not enjoyed

 

I have no idea how step parents do it. When I was with my ex, through sumbliminal messaging aka subtly 'read between the lines' type of hints, his son knew I wasn't up for chatting and therefore left me alone for the most part. That didn't stop him from being attached at the hip to his dad and it certaintly didn't stop him from barely taking a breath in between sentences (the kid talked endlessly) but it did help that at least I didn't have to do much conversing with him 

 

Sometimes you need to put your bitch face on in an attempt to self preserve